1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time
to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line..

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? You have one goose, 2 geese; so one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You think English is crazy, try learning Russian!

I was going cross eyed reading it!

If you think English, or Russian, is difficult, try explaining the noun/verb pairs you listed to the deaf via sign language. If you read the noun/verb pairs out loud, you'll soon realize that when you inflect (accent) the FIRST syllable, it is generally a noun; example CONvict (a person sent to prison) versus conVICT (the action of sending him to prison).

Since inflection counts heavily in deducing the usage of a noun/verb pair, how will you explain it (them) to a deaf person? This is one of the problems I face when teaching the deaf to drive. Sign language uses "modifiers" to explain a concept (the sign for jail, followed by the sign for person = CONvict). To know this, the deaf person will watch the hands and facial expressions of the signer for such modifiers.

Trust me...that doesn't work when teaching the deaf to drive...I do NOT want them staring at me for signs, while driving. We have used a "pidgen-sign language" to use only one hand, held beneath the rear view mirror.

Of course, it COULD be more difficult...try explaining the color BLUE to someone who has been blind since birth!

That was amazing :)

Thanks! I enjoyed that!

how true it is!

Your welcome...

funny thing about it..it's all true

Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway?

If it's a circular drive, how do you get out?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. So why on my desk do I have a work station . . .

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Why is it called "rush hour" when your car barely moves?