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| Topic: Have you ever reached this point | |
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. |
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Oh yeah...although I don't think he woke up as much as just got defensive. Maybe I need to work on my communication skills!
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oh yes, plenty of times... I didn't verbalize though... Just walked away...
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mine had a twist ..i didn't have sympathy for either,as a matter of fact i thought they should have stayed together..because they both sukd,just in a different way.. 
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Yes I did !
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Oh yeah...although I don't think he woke up as much as just got defensive. Maybe I need to work on my communication skills! He became defensive but he probably did not forget what you said and may have spent time reflecting on this, hopefully. |
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Sun 01/31/10 06:40 PM
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. Happened to me, not a divorced one but just ex/boyfriend. She told me all these horror stories about him, and always got one side of the story. After I broke up with her and talked to people who knew her better told me things she never told me or lied about and the entire thing was flipped around and realize that she had to demonize him in order to maker herself look innocent. The problem is, no matter how much a person lies, his or her personality will start to show anyway after some time, and especially for those who can read people well, it's pointless to lie, just makes it worse. I just don't understand how can someone live in lies and even get mixed up in it and don't remember which lie was told to whom. Now, that's even worse. |
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. Not sure what the point of this post is? There's no doubt folks have been in this situation, but what's the real "point"? Venting? Frustration that you've "been caught up"? |
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. Happened to me, not a divorced one but just ex/boyfriend. She told me all these horror stories about him, and always got one side of the story. After I broke up with her and talked to people who knew her better told me things she never told me or lied about and the entire thing was flipped around and realize that she had to demonize him in order to maker herself look innocent. The problem is, no matter how much a person lies, his or her personality will start to show anyway after some time, and especially for those who can read people well, it's pointless to lie, just makes it worse. I just don't understand how can someone live in lies and even get mixed up in it and don't remember which lie was told to whom. Now, that's even worse. Yes, you are only receiving one side of the story and in some cases you cannot get anymore info. Sometimes I think they believe their side of the story 100%. In my case I mentioned why I believed they got divorced (the same reason we broke up) and if nothing else I think he truly saw some of his problem behavior for the first time. We all have faults but when they cause repeated break-ups it is time to reflect. |
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Took him 7 years to find out about Psychob!tch, only took me half the time, 3 1/2 years. The way I figure, her next sorry boyfriend will have it figured out in 1 year, 9 months.
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. Happened to me, not a divorced one but just ex/boyfriend. She told me all these horror stories about him, and always got one side of the story. After I broke up with her and talked to people who knew her better told me things she never told me or lied about and the entire thing was flipped around and realize that she had to demonize him in order to maker herself look innocent. The problem is, no matter how much a person lies, his or her personality will start to show anyway after some time, and especially for those who can read people well, it's pointless to lie, just makes it worse. I just don't understand how can someone live in lies and even get mixed up in it and don't remember which lie was told to whom. Now, that's even worse. Yes, you are only receiving one side of the story and in some cases you cannot get anymore info. Sometimes I think they believe their side of the story 100%. In my case I mentioned why I believed they got divorced (the same reason we broke up) and if nothing else I think he truly saw some of his problem behavior for the first time. We all have faults but when they cause repeated break-ups it is time to reflect. I got that with 2 exes. One went apesh*t when we broke up, threatening to kill the dog, slash the rental truck tires, etc, etc, etc. And I find out a month later from his brother the the ex was bi-polar, I had been his high, or happy, and he wasn't taking meds to balance himself. So when he went nuts, he was drunk and crashed emotionally. This is why I won't date bi-polar's again. The ex after 4 years, I found out later that half the crap he told me wasn't true. I still think he had some mental issues. |
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. There is two sides to every story. Most likely the one you are/were involved with only told you their "version". Then there are people who really don't see themselves how others do. They live in oblivion thinking everyone else is the bad guy, when in fact it's them. Live and learn and move on and don't do it again. |
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. Wish I had the nerve. Good for you, if we all gave people some insight when they screw up, we'd all be a little more wiser and hopefully about 1/2 would do some inner changes. |
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Mon 02/01/10 01:14 AM
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wouldnt it be great potential partners all had to fill out applications and had to supply THREE references from the past five years whom we could discuss their good and bad points with,,lol
sure would have helped me save alot of wasted time |
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wouldnt it be great potential partners all had to fill out applications and had to supply THREE references from the past five years whom we could discuss their good and bad points with,,lol sure would have helped me save alot of wasted time Totally agree! 
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When you realize the reasons the person you are dating is divorced in the first place and actually start having sympathy for their ex? Of course this is the time you are ready to end the relationship as well. This has happened to me but I did verbalize what I thought and it was a real wake-up call for him. Oh boy...by the time I got the real story about why his ex divorced him, I was ready to go pin a medal on her for putting up with him for so long...took her 35 years to get fed up, took me 2 weeks. 
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been in that situation myself n in my case not only did i end the relationship i ended up payin the soon to be ex hubbys legal fees cuz i felt that bad for him
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been in that situation myself n in my case not only did i end the relationship i ended up payin the soon to be ex hubbys legal fees cuz i felt that bad for him
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