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| Topic: .smile it gets better never stop laughing | |
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i know the owner and she's good at it 
  
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A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street, when a little girl on
her new shiny bike stopped beside him. 'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?' 'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!' The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, 'Next year, tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it!' The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?' Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered, 'Yes, he sure did!' The little girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Next year tell Santa: The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top!’ |
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Edited by
bedlum1
on
Tue 01/19/10 12:05 PM
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A peek inside the White House walk-in refrigerator
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why do they call a woman cycle her period?
because when she tell you she's on it ,it ends your sentence for you... |
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A six year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'
Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh. I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.' Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem... The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?' The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.' The minister fainted. Now, that's funny... I don't care WHO you are. |
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Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!!! Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.. and the wisdom to properly dispose of the bodies of the one's who pissed me off.. |
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To me without laughter you have nothing. There is not a day goes by that I do not laugh at something. I don't let life get to me to the point I can not see the laughter in life. And those that know me know if they call me before the end of the call we will be laughing about something...
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Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!!! Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference..   
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 thanks -I needed that!
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thanks -I needed that!
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small coffin big headstone
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what do you call 4 blondes in a volkswagen??????
far-from-thinkin |
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Oh HELL noooooooooooo.
Good one bro. |
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Oh HELL noooooooooooo.
Good one bro.
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Always Remember This: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing!!! Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out. THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.. Love this! Wish I had better eye sight! |
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