Why oh why must my ex try to remain friends? Why do sometimes I think this is a good idea? Is it that she want to tear out my heart over and over? Am I perverted in my need to be kicked square in the groin over and over again? I just do not get it! Four years of intoxicated stupidity (her not me), and I still haven't learned to NOT answer that fing phone. <endrant>

I have found that time has given me strength. When you see it's her calling, remind yourself of why you split with her. Tell her in no uncertain terms that you are DONE and she needs to stop trying to contact you.

Best of luck!

4 years is history with someone. It's hard to just disconnect sometimes but ledi is right....don't answer the phone or tell her not to call you then don't answer the phone

I changed my ex's name in my phone to "don't pick up, I'm a jerk" or "I cheated on you" to remind me when he calls... I shouldn't answer. It's helps.
Change her name in your phone to "stupid drunk" and you'll be less likely to answer I promise.

Thank you ladies for your support and understanding. I just had one of those "I need to scream at the world" moments. BTW Yellowrose, you joined on my b-day

aww that's my dad's bday too.

As hard as it must sound others choose to be friends until they can find closer. But if one is remaining friends for other reasons there comes a time one must step back and move on.

If kids are involved I can see that need to be friends but.... when there are none and both are not moving on with their lives it is time to take a long look at the situation.

....change your number.

I love this one...LOL.

I personally have been friends with my EX for years, we don't have kids between us. What we do have is a friendship that couldn't make through his drug haze and to much water is under the bridge it ever go back. Care for him sure, be there for him sure, at a distance.


OP, It sounds like you have been through hell and now it is time to let go and move on. Time for yourself to heal.

Good luck

Don't answer the phone? Nothing wrong with friends, but to me it seems you have some underlying feelings you will need to resolve before friendship becomes an option let alone a possibility. Perhaps it was her stupidity that killed the relationship, but sorry to say...it is your stupidity that is still allowing it to control you.

I'm still friend with my ex g/f. I ask her once in a month how she is doing. She says she is good, then asks me how I'm doing. Then she tells me what's the latest and I'll tell her what's the latest. And it ends there. There is absolutely nothing between us, beside common human beings asking each other a question because we still care of each other to a point.

I have another ex g/f who avoids me like fire. and I'm not even trying to reach her, LOL, she is really just hiding from herself, and I can't help her with that.

I've got a couple of exes that we pop in about every 6 weeks and say hi and check in. Nothing major, we're better as friends.

The screwy ex was told he'd be shot on sight if he ever showed up.

Easy as pie...

I do this to "YUCK" "SICKO" "PERVERT" then I changed my number and so far so so good...he is not calling me...but I still have it labeled as "YUCK"

Some "habits" are just hard to break. She was a huge part of your life and it is just a natural thing to pick up that phone when you see it's her - not remembering all of the pain and suffering in that very instant. This takes a different amount of time for everyone to reach their own point of self preservation and saying to yourself enough is enough!

It will come in the time that is right for you. But, acknowledging it is the first step.

Good luck

I guess I'm lucky none of my ex's likes me......

For the guys here, I always wondered as a fellow male, does she ever think about you, does she ever miss you, the way you used to be with her? Does she lament letting you go and giving up on you? I know guys feel this way when their girlfriend dumps them, but what about the girls? Do they have those feelings of remorse, and remember how it used to be, or do they hit the delete button and never think about their past relationship with you? This is just my experience, but alot of men tend to think more and women tend to feel more. So it stands to reason that men are more likely to relive in their minds the relationship they had than women. Whereas a woman just feels, and since she's done with you, she has no feelings for you anymore, and she won't second guess her decision to leave you. Just a thought.