2 Next
Topic: Is he hiding something or not? married or not?
msharmony's photo
Fri 01/08/10 01:06 AM

I met a man with two sons 23, 25 living at home. We have dated for a few months now. I have introduced him to my 15 year old child and welcomed him into my home. I still have not been invited to his home and do not know where he lives. He tells me I can look it up in the phone book, its no secret. I ask why have I not been invited to his home and he tells me he is protecting his boys. He is not ready to introduce them to anyone yet as he is still married.

He has told me he has a divorce going on. Has lived apart from his wife for 5 years now. So why is it an issue that I not be invited to his home? Is he really filing for a divorce? has he? does she still live there? what do you all think of this? he tells me he is in love with me and does not want to lose me. To me his children are grown adults not babies. Why is it an issue for me to go there?

YOu have any clues or insight for me?


the statement about the telephone book would put me off just a bit, as well as the passng of five years that his wife has not lived there. That made his 'boys' 18 and 20 when she left,,,already pretty much grown. I would feel he either is far too sheltering of these men or is hiding something. Either way, I would be a bit uncomfortable.

no photo
Fri 01/08/10 09:34 AM

Sounds like this creep is hoping you will go to his house and make a scean so he can say it is all you, and you are a stalker, to save his own butt.

While you are there if you don't get beat up it is highly likely that you could be arrested.

Chances are his adult children don't live at home at all. He just doesn't want them to know he is a dirtbag.

He is having fun playing hide and seek and you are making a fool out of yourself.

Hope to God you don't think you are the only one he is screwing around with because I would put good money on the table to bet you aren't. Be sure and tell your Doctor to check you for STD's if you are being sexually active with this poor excuse for a husband and Father.

The chance that you & he has done a lot of damage to your reputation exists but I am more worried he could destroy you financially as a single parent because this is not the type who will do his share. No man is better than this snake.




:thumbsup:

Updawg's photo
Fri 01/08/10 09:48 AM

you can walk or play the player

This time around I chose to play the player and it worked. The best part is what you do next.

delilady's photo
Fri 01/08/10 09:49 AM
Tell him you are having doubts and need more from him if this relationship is going to continue. If he loves you and doesn't want to lose you then he will do whatever you need for him to do. If he gives you more excuses then you have your answer and it is time to move on.

XenomorphEyez's photo
Fri 01/08/10 11:11 AM

I met a man with two sons 23, 25 living at home. We have dated for a few months now. I have introduced him to my 15 year old child and welcomed him into my home. I still have not been invited to his home and do not know where he lives. He tells me I can look it up in the phone book, its no secret. I ask why have I not been invited to his home and he tells me he is protecting his boys. He is not ready to introduce them to anyone yet as he is still married.

He has told me he has a divorce going on. Has lived apart from his wife for 5 years now. So why is it an issue that I not be invited to his home? Is he really filing for a divorce? has he? does she still live there? what do you all think of this? he tells me he is in love with me and does not want to lose me. To me his children are grown adults not babies. Why is it an issue for me to go there?

YOu have any clues or insight for me?

Umm what part are you not understanding???? You said he told you he is still married. Is this a trick question? And here ladies and gentlemen who say it's okay to get involved with separated people, is exactly why you don't. Have fun playing the waiting game in his 5 year plus divorce proceedings whoa

kc0003's photo
Fri 01/08/10 11:40 AM
Why he would feel the need to protect his grown kids is beyond me but i find it interesting that he feels it acceptable to enter your life and your home with little or no regard for your 15y/o child.

Better yet, why would you expose your offspring to such a poor example? And where is his concern here? oh yeah, with his GROWN boys.

i don't get why you are asking this here when i bet you already know the answer...



RKISIT's photo
Fri 01/08/10 11:47 AM

I met a man with two sons 23, 25 living at home. We have dated for a few months now. I have introduced him to my 15 year old child and welcomed him into my home. I still have not been invited to his home and do not know where he lives. He tells me I can look it up in the phone book, its no secret. I ask why have I not been invited to his home and he tells me he is protecting his boys. He is not ready to introduce them to anyone yet as he is still married.

He has told me he has a divorce going on. Has lived apart from his wife for 5 years now. So why is it an issue that I not be invited to his home? Is he really filing for a divorce? has he? does she still live there? what do you all think of this? he tells me he is in love with me and does not want to lose me. To me his children are grown adults not babies. Why is it an issue for me to go there?

YOu have any clues or insight for me?
like i have stated before "each separation is different"*smirks*

beauty314's photo
Fri 01/08/10 12:13 PM
Maybe he's just being careful that you don't accidently run into his other girlfriends that ARE allowed at his house.
This red flag is so big its making my eyes water... tears

Katzenschnauzer's photo
Fri 01/08/10 12:21 PM
RUN! Don't look back. Just keep running. The only thing this guy is in love with is the notion that he's pulling it off.

no photo
Fri 01/08/10 12:41 PM

Wow, maybe its exactly as he says.

A co-workers divorce took over three yrs to happen, with six figure lawyers' fees too.

When your kids-no matter how old they are, meet the new girlfriend, its sets different wheels in motion. The divorce is 'really real' Dad is moving on and has a new woman-NOT MOM....it's can be very weird. How could you love anyone but Mom?.....thats the ONLY intimate relationship they have ever seen you in, even if its a bad one.

Could be he is protective about his space, his house, maybe the kids are pigs and he won't clean up after them...any number of things could be going on here.


Upon first read I am right there with MM. I didn't see a thing wrong with him not being yet ready to have you over to his house. You have the choice to look up his address and do a drive by, but I would certainly not show up unexpected. I don't see why it makes this guy a bad person to be stating his feelings and COMMUNICATING that he is not ready to have you meet his children. Just because you did, does not mean he in turn has to do so. No matter how old, they are still his children.

Is there something wrong with a man who chooses not to tarnish the image of his wife to his children? IMO, no. He could just simply not want to go there until he's sure it'll be long term. There could be all kinds of reasons. Let's not be so hasty to judge.

Th3Friend's photo
Fri 01/08/10 12:47 PM
How does a divorce take 5 years with no custody battle? Love has blinded you!!

no photo
Fri 01/08/10 12:51 PM
What I read was that he had been apart from his wife for 5 years...that could mean they were still trying for some part of that. I don't know, but without more facts it seems a silly game to condemn a man who can't even speak for himself.

Rob_T's photo
Fri 01/08/10 12:53 PM
can you say "double dipper"?

Th3Friend's photo
Fri 01/08/10 01:02 PM

What I read was that he had been apart from his wife for 5 years...that could mean they were still trying for some part of that. I don't know, but without more facts it seems a silly game to condemn a man who can't even speak for himself.


Any man who is protecting 20 something year old men from a woman, he is dating, has massive skeletons to hide. Maybe he isnt with his wife... but whats up with telling you he is protecting his kids? Maybe that has been his line for 20 years and needs a new one to keep his mistresses at bay.

Maybe he isnt that in to you... and doesnt want you to know where he lives.

Maybe he lives with HIS mom and is embarrassed.

There are many variables we dont know... but be careful nonetheless!

kc0003's photo
Fri 01/08/10 01:08 PM

What I read was that he had been apart from his wife for 5 years...that could mean they were still trying for some part of that. I don't know, but without more facts it seems a silly game to condemn a man who can't even speak for himself.





people who hide things generally, have things to hide...


bedlum1's photo
Fri 01/08/10 01:36 PM
RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no photo
Fri 01/08/10 04:38 PM


What I read was that he had been apart from his wife for 5 years...that could mean they were still trying for some part of that. I don't know, but without more facts it seems a silly game to condemn a man who can't even speak for himself.


Any man who is protecting 20 something year old men from a woman, he is dating, has massive skeletons to hide. Maybe he isnt with his wife... but whats up with telling you he is protecting his kids? Maybe that has been his line for 20 years and needs a new one to keep his mistresses at bay.

Maybe he isnt that in to you... and doesnt want you to know where he lives.

Maybe he lives with HIS mom and is embarrassed.

There are many variables we dont know... but be careful nonetheless!


Well it's not me, I'm not the original poster. I don't date men who aren't divorced. I still fail to see how the man is hiding anything. He flat out told her he isn't interested in having her meet his family yet.

Cinderella75's photo
Mon 01/11/10 09:49 PM

I met a man with two sons 23, 25 living at home. We have dated for a few months now. I have introduced him to my 15 year old child and welcomed him into my home. I still have not been invited to his home and do not know where he lives. He tells me I can look it up in the phone book, its no secret. I ask why have I not been invited to his home and he tells me he is protecting his boys. He is not ready to introduce them to anyone yet as he is still married.

He has told me he has a divorce going on. Has lived apart from his wife for 5 years now. So why is it an issue that I not be invited to his home? Is he really filing for a divorce? has he? does she still live there? what do you all think of this? he tells me he is in love with me and does not want to lose me. To me his children are grown adults not babies. Why is it an issue for me to go there?

YOu have any clues or insight for me?


Look him up in a phonebook?
He sounds like an Azz!
Do yourself and your 15 year old son a favor and dump that douche, quick!
He's having an affair with you, he's married and he is not leaving his wife for you. And even if he did, he'd do the same crap to you.

2 Next