Hello, recently met someone for a "coffee date" and he told me that when he and his ex got divorced she had a court order that he was to have NO contact with their daughter. Now he had told me he was divorced 22 years and now the daughter is about 36-40 age so that would of made her about 14- 16 years old at the time. He also has a son with his ex and didn't mention any court order over the son, the ex had full custody over both children. When he told me this I didn't want to ask to many questions about what kind of court order etc as the "date' was in a public place and people were sitting close by listening in. So could a court order be for what I am thinking it might be (we haven't really talked since then, he said he thinks he scared me off) for molesting his daughter? what other kind of court orders would there be that say you cannot have any contact with your daughter? Really just curious I don't think I'm going to see him again.

Not up on what it was. I'm thinking having a court order not to see your own child would be pretty serious. An obvious red flag. I probably wouldn't need to see anymore.

The only time a judge would order no contact with children was if there was some kind of abuse issue.

Yes, I agree a red flag...............

..as a precaution and maybe some info..i would look up the sex offenders registry..just to see if he was listed..just a thought..

This is something that, back then, you were assumed guilty; unless you could pay to fight it in court & prove your innocence. Happened to me, took 2 years & about $8,000.00. If you are interested in someone, ask direct guestions. Answers don't make sense, then walk away. I was lucky enough to be making the money to fight for the truth, 2 years I could not see my kids. Judge ended up telling the ex, he would testify FOR ME, if I went after her as unfit.

I would think a 14+ year old could tell you if she was molested or not, so as far as his ex making that up I doubt that, also he is good friends (went to school together etc) with a lawyer that has a lucrative practice. I know that lawyer also but only because he represented my ex in an injury case.So he probably didn't get registered as a sex offender as this was the 80's and maybe the lawyer kept it "all in the family",I do know that this daughter is on her third marriage and daddy buys her some pretty expensive things that maybe the husband should be buying. Also the ex sent her away to an expensive private school, which might or might not have something to do with what he did to her(out of sight out of mind)

Yeah next time I'll have a list:
1 Are you a registered sex offender
2 Have you ever been arrested
3 Have you molested your children
4 Have you been abusive to your wife
5 How much money do you make and what part of town do you live
6 Have you ever cheated on your ex, girlfriend,or SO?
7 Do you have any sexually transmitted diseases
8 Have you ever slept with a man?
You know as well as I do you can't ask all those questions, you can get a "feel" on what kind of person he/she is but you know you can be fooled.

You can look up his cases. They are public record.

I tried to look up to see if he is a registered sex offender, could not find anything, like I said this happened back in the 80's and maybe the ex wife,this guy and their respective lawyers agreed to sweep it under the rug, hence the very expensive private school, etc

Check state, county, city, etc. You may have to do some digging. I can ask some people I know that work in the court systems (my sister is a deputy clerk, and my mom used to be a c/o) and see If I can get some links to some sites. I'm not sure if they would know of anything outside of northeast ohio, but I can check.

Actually we had been emailing and messenging and talking on the phone for weeks, so I feel fortunate that he even told me on our first coffee date about this court order. If he had not told me that would of been one of the last things I would of thought to ask him "are you a child molestor", really you just never know anymore.He seemed like a ordinary, stable, reliable kind of person.Never acted lewd or asked "flirty" questions (you know the kind gals)Just seemed like a nice guy.

Oh thanks totage, but I know I'm not going to be talking to him any time soon, but thank you anyway

That's a good idea.

I know there's a ton of sites online that want you to pay, but, pretty much every state, county and city has something to look up records for free. We look up people all the time mostly out of curiosity.

You can try "googling" your city and/or county for court records, public records, etc. you should be able to find something. Also, any prisons in your area would have something you can access to lookup records for free.

The more information you have a person the easier it is to look them up, but for the mose part, all you need is a first and last name to do most checks.

I find it interesting that he told you. Bering the inquisitive I am, would ask him, saying was thinking about it.
Look up HER name. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm