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| Topic: Why does it have to lead to something other than friendship? | |
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Hi Yellowrose
 
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I'm confused, are you upset because you're married and women don't want to be friends with you? Personally, I have no interest in being friends with a married man, I don't see the point; his wife should be his friend, or he should go make friends with other men. Many people have a hard time being "just friends" and if the guy is married, that's a hornet's nest just waiting to explode. I think Calleigh is speaking for a lot of women, here. You could just do like most married men do on the internet: lie, and say you're single. (or so I have heard) Since all you are looking for is an internet friendship, nobody will ever be the wiser, right? She may be speaking for some, but certainly not all. I have male friends who are married. I have no issue with it and neither do they or their wives. Good for you, every guy I've tried to be friends with ends up trying to **** me, so you've been very fortunate. |
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You would be suprized how many of my friends end up naked with me.  LOL! Nah we wouldn't be surprised at all. In fact I think I can guess!
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Edited by
Shasta1
on
Wed 12/30/09 11:25 PM
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Actually this site is considered a Social Site as well even though many try to make it a Dating Site Only it is not and has never been just that. This site was created for all no matter what sexually preference they have nor if they are here strictly for friendship as well. But at times those that are here strictly for dating and sees others that are here and married or with someone they automatically assume they are here to cheat on their partner. So if one does not make it clear within their profile who's fault is it but the one that created the profile. One always needs to make it very clear what they are here for from the beginning. I have no problem with just having friends and have made several since I have been here that we are strictly friends only. What bothers me are those that do have a partner and disrespects that bond and are actually on sites to find someone else. Even though this site is for all it is still consider a Dating Site as well. So one must be very clear if they are not here for that as well..... 
Thank you for stating this. And personally speaking, If in a serious relationship., married or not, why are people seeking 'friends' of the opposite sex to begin with? Those to me are the little 'red flags' that another thread was posted about. As a society on the whole, things always happen that never were meant to, and people blame it on the heat of the moment, we had a few drinks, it was just a kiss, etc. Sounds very old fashioned yet marriages fall apart these days as soon as they're created because it's just so okay to have good friends with the opposite gender. Why aren't we putting the same energy we have for a new friendship into the ones we have made already? We're such a instant grad world, that as soon as things get a little hard...off we go to find someone who 'understands' us. We all goof around here, and call people our friends... most are in other states, and it's all on paper- as they used to say, yet friends really is a word, to me, that we know each other, have been through lifes times and made it through to the otherside. that's pretty hard to do on a computer. Close acquaintences would seem more appropriate. If it gets to phone calls more than a couple of times a year and regular meetings then it's friends. These are just my thoughts about it, and am not saying this is how it is. So when a person is on herewho is in a commited relationship and say they are looking for friends of the opposite...especially if they are new and haven't been on here for years....then i really wonder. It's not a judgement call I just wonder. Okay...thats my rant for today 
(actually my 2nd- 3 more days and then 3 days off  . will try to be quiet until then .
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I'm here mostly for the forums and to spread sunshine.
Ditto 
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This is a reply to : Thank you for stating this. And personally speaking, If in a serious relationship., married or not, why are people seeking 'friends' etc...... whoever you are
I am Mcklintock's girl friend Carole, and I say Ladies, cease to be offended because my boyfreind wants to be your FRIEND, simply because he has always been frank and Honest with me and he has helped me to love myself and accept myself for who I am. He is someone good that is honoest and sincere. His health issue permits him only to have lady friends. Going out with his use to be friends is out of the question. He use to enjoy a single malt Scoth with the best of them, but his diabetes has stopped him years ago. As far as sex goes, Viagra 100 mg works wonders for him but since he already takes 23 pills a day, he can't take any, what else is left to talk about with the guys, Frenship, music, chess, no with the guys its booze sports **** and ***. There is no one person more jealous than I but Rick has never given me any reason to be jealous nor will he ever. So this was my two cents on the matter. |
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His health issue permits him only to have lady friends. Going out with his use to be friends is out of the question. He use to enjoy a single malt Scoth with the best of them, but his diabetes has stopped him years ago. As far as sex goes, Viagra 100 mg works wonders for him but since he already takes 23 pills a day, he can't take any, what else is left to talk about with the guys, Frenship, music, chess, no with the guys its booze sports **** and ***.
Ok, i dont get this, just cos he cant drink scotch doesnt mean he cant spend time with friends! Secondly, why r u talking about his private stuff like him taking viagra on a public site? All seems a bit odd to me! |
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Actually this site is considered a Social Site as well even though many try to make it a Dating Site Only it is not and has never been just that. This site was created for all no matter what sexually preference they have nor if they are here strictly for friendship as well. But at times those that are here strictly for dating and sees others that are here and married or with someone they automatically assume they are here to cheat on their partner. So if one does not make it clear within their profile who's fault is it but the one that created the profile. One always needs to make it very clear what they are here for from the beginning. I have no problem with just having friends and have made several since I have been here that we are strictly friends only. What bothers me are those that do have a partner and disrespects that bond and are actually on sites to find someone else. Even though this site is for all it is still consider a Dating Site as well. So one must be very clear if they are not here for that as well.....
Thank you for stating this. And personally speaking, If in a serious relationship., married or not, why are people seeking 'friends' of the opposite sex to begin with? Those to me are the little 'red flags' that another thread was posted about. As a society on the whole, things always happen that never were meant to, and people blame it on the heat of the moment, we had a few drinks, it was just a kiss, etc. Sounds very old fashioned yet marriages fall apart these days as soon as they're created because it's just so okay to have good friends with the opposite gender. Why aren't we putting the same energy we have for a new friendship into the ones we have made already? We're such a instant grad world, that as soon as things get a little hard...off we go to find someone who 'understands' us. We all goof around here, and call people our friends... most are in other states, and it's all on paper- as they used to say, yet friends really is a word, to me, that we know each other, have been through lifes times and made it through to the otherside. that's pretty hard to do on a computer. Close acquaintences would seem more appropriate. If it gets to phone calls more than a couple of times a year and regular meetings then it's friends. These are just my thoughts about it, and am not saying this is how it is. So when a person is on herewho is in a commited relationship and say they are looking for friends of the opposite...especially if they are new and haven't been on here for years....then i really wonder. It's not a judgement call I just wonder. Okay...thats my rant for today
(actually my 2nd- 3 more days and then 3 days off . will try to be quiet until then .
When you're in a relationship, do you stop making friends all together? Do you stop being friends with those who are men? I think a bigger red flag would be if someone I was dating wanted me to stop being friends with men. That's a bit too controlling to me. |
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Well my friend I guess it would seem odd to you!
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This is from Carole, I do agree with you my dear. He won't stop me seing friends I have had for a long time men and women, why should I
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This is from pink_lady's boyfriend Dan and i am posting only to say that this whole thing sounds like a load of BS.
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Thank you for stating this. And personally speaking, If in a serious relationship., married or not, why are people seeking 'friends' of the opposite sex to begin with? Those to me are the little 'red flags' that another thread was posted about. As a society on the whole, things always happen that never were meant to, and people blame it on the heat of the moment, we had a few drinks, it was just a kiss, etc. Sounds very old fashioned yet marriages fall apart these days as soon as they're created because it's just so okay to have good friends with the opposite gender. Why aren't we putting the same energy we have for a new friendship into the ones we have made already? We're such a instant grad world, that as soon as things get a little hard...off we go to find someone who 'understands' us. We all goof around here, and call people our friends... most are in other states, and it's all on paper- as they used to say, yet friends really is a word, to me, that we know each other, have been through lifes times and made it through to the otherside. that's pretty hard to do on a computer. Close acquaintences would seem more appropriate. If it gets to phone calls more than a couple of times a year and regular meetings then it's friends. These are just my thoughts about it, and am not saying this is how it is. So when a person is on herewho is in a commited relationship and say they are looking for friends of the opposite...especially if they are new and haven't been on here for years....then i really wonder. It's not a judgement call I just wonder. Okay...thats my rant for today
(actually my 2nd- 3 more days and then 3 days off . will try to be quiet until then .
I disagree with you. Your social life shouldn't stop because you are in a relationship. Everybody can always use more friends of either gender. People can be friends with anyone they want to male or female. Most of my friends in real life are male. I'm talking actual friends. Friends that I've had for years since high school. I would never tell anyone I was dating they couldn't have female friends. I'm VERY secure when I'm in a relationship and I don't pick people that I would have to worry about them crossing the line. Perhaps if someone is jealous or insecure, they need to work out what's going on with them and not the opposite gender. Also, if a guy joins a social network site saying he is looking for other men to be friends with, most would assume he is gay. Same with women. If I put I was looking for women for friendship, I can only imagine the emails I would get from all sorts of "friendly" people wanting to get to know me. 
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This is from pink_lady's boyfriend Dan and i am posting only to say that this whole thing sounds like a load of BS. 
And, I concur. 
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Edited by
Mclintock45
on
Thu 12/31/09 07:22 AM
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Lol, yes I guess you would say that Pink Lady, and you have your right to your opinion.
I hope you and your boyfriend have a Happy New year and make as many new friends as you can as a wise women once said: Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you. But then again that might be BS too... |
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His health issue permits him only to have lady friends. Going out with his use to be friends is out of the question. He use to enjoy a single malt Scoth with the best of them, but his diabetes has stopped him years ago. As far as sex goes, Viagra 100 mg works wonders for him but since he already takes 23 pills a day, he can't take any, what else is left to talk about with the guys, Frenship, music, chess, no with the guys its booze sports **** and ***.
Ok, i dont get this, just cos he cant drink scotch doesnt mean he cant spend time with friends! Secondly, why r u talking about his private stuff like him taking viagra on a public site? All seems a bit odd to me! Ditto |
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This is from pink_lady's boyfriend Dan and i am posting only to say that this whole thing sounds like a load of BS.
And, I concur.
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Edited by
Mclintock45
on
Thu 12/31/09 07:58 AM
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Well after reading all your replies, apparently what is obvious for some is incomprehensible for others. I have found that the more one tries to explain onesself and be sincere and opened, the more one is misjudged and condemned. Apparently friends here just want to be right and judge and its their right to do so.
I have friends to say Hi like everyone does, but I've seen what friends can do. It was said that the road to Hell was paved with good intentions, mostly from friends. Well I don't need those kinds of friends in my life and They certainly don't need me, I leave you with this though from an 19th century American poet named Walt Whitman ( name that I first learned about on an old TV series Room 222 in which Michael Constatntine played the principal Seymoor Kaufman at Walt Whithman High ), in which he was heard to say that I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends! |
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Edited by
Calleigh12
on
Thu 12/31/09 08:50 AM
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I fail to see what the problem is; several women on here have indicated they wouldn't mind being friends with you. Obviously other women in real life wouldn't mind being friends with you. My suggestion is to find those people and strike up a conversation that leads to friendship- problem solved. You're never going to convince everyone to agree with you, so to keep trying is an utter waste of your time.
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I fail to see what the problem is; several women on here have indicated they wouldn't mind being friends with you. Obviously other women in real life wouldn't mind being friends with you. My suggestion is to find those people and strike up a conversation that leads to friendship- problem solved. You're never going to convince everyone to agree with you, so to keep trying is an utter waste of your time. Your point is well taken and I wanted to send you a message yesterday following what you said about guys only wnting to ....you. The fact that I lied when I we wrote married to please the forum when I am divorced stopped me from emailing you, so I will say this, I am sorry that the only men in your life only wanted to see that one side of you. You must be a lovely girl and you do deserve better that that! As for physically making friends on the sight I don't know how, or which button to press, I know what is obvious for one might not be for all |
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