My mom e mailed this to me
Wanted to share it!

Wht God created children
(and in the process grandchildren)

The first kids
By Bill Cosby

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort fromthe thought that
even Gods omnipotence did not extend
to his own children

After creating heaven and earth
God created Adam and Eve

And thwe first thing he said was
"Don't!"

"Don't what?"
Adam replied

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said
"Forbidden fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey eve..we have forbidden fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

Do NOT eat the fruit!"
God said

"Why?"
"Because i'm your father and i said so!"
God replied
wondering why he hadent stopped
creation after creating the elephants.

A few minutes laterGod saw his children having an apple break and he was
ticked!

"Didn't i tell you not to eat the fruit?"
God asked

"uh huh,"
Adam replied

"Then why did you?"
Said the father

"I don't know"
said eve

"She started it!"
Said adam

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Having had it with the 2 of them
God's punishment was that adam and eve
should have children of their own

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you persistantly and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they
havent accepted it,
Don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT
1)you spent the first 2 years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next 16 telling them to sit down and shut up.

2)Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children

3)Mothers of teens know why
some animals eat their young

4)Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said

5)The main purpose for holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

6)We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in

ADVICE FOR THE DAY

Be nice to your kids
they will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE ALOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN!!!"

Cute

ahahaha good one...