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| Topic: Fart Stories | |
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Edited by
uk1971
on
Sun 12/27/09 02:25 PM
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On a snowy Christmas eve one year, I was hanging around with some friends, mostly couples, in an old Victorian house with high ceilings.
The power and all the lights went out because of the snow storm, so we found a couple of candles, and gathered around the huge antique dining room table to play cards. We had played for about an hour in the shadows, when our "Christmas Miracle" happened. The guy who owned the house was sitting at the head of the table, and after he won a hand, he raised his arms for the room to be silent, then placed his hands back on the table, pressed down, and let one rip that nearly blew him off his seat. At that exact moment, the lights flickered, and came back on! We were caught halfway between shock and hysterics, and none of us said anything, we all just kept looking across the table at each other and laughing through the tears, while the guy who did it just sat there like he had gone through an out of body experience. There can, however, be nothing worse than farting in church. Especially when it also results from having partaken the previous night of a rather hot Indian Curry dinner, and explodes unexpectedly, and. when it rattles out at 100000000000 decibels. When the church is one of those large cold stone buldings that echo even the slightest whisper to such a degree that it sounds 500 times worse than what it actually is, and reverberates around the building long after the actual event has subsided, Such a thing happened to our local priest at one of the the most reverant parts of a christening service of the local mayors new baby son. The church was absolutely packed with towns people and local dignitaries. At the point of the service the priest stated; 'We are all one in Christ Jesus. We belong to him through faith, heirs of the promise of the Spirit of peace. The peace of the Lord be always with you' The hushed congegation replied solemly ' and also with you.' The priest then offered, 'Let us offer one another a sign of peace.' It was at this point, that with a surprised and horrified look on his face, that the thunderous explosion occured. Because of the echo in the church, something that in normal situations would be over in about 8 seconds went on for almost a minute, and was also not helped by the microphone which amplified the occasion to an even greater extent.. The poor priest just stood there with a horrified look on his face. Stifled sniggers where replaced by great guffaws of laughter around the font and rest of the church, only to be replaced by those closest the priest of revulsion as the gasses from the previous evenings curry dinner enveloped them. It was at this point that the baby, up until now, a quiet and well behaved child began bawling. The poor priest didn't know what to say or do, but continued to apologise to the congregation, who were now in a state of near hysteria. The service didn't resume for a full 30 minutes   
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Edited by
harrypotter2
on
Sun 12/27/09 02:10 PM
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