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| Topic: It MIGHT be a Red Flag IF ... ;-p | |
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Lifted right out of the Jeff Foxworthy Schtick, dating style!
It might be red flag IF ... |
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... The IQ drops 100 points and the 'goo~goo~ga~ga' baby talk sputters, waxing repetitiously lyrical about missing UNDEROOS and the bottle!
RUN! ... 
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... He requests you go on a double date w/ his Mommy ...
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... He ends a phone call begging the ex for one more chance, turns to you and professes undying love ...
BABY ... YOU'RE THE ONE! ... 
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... He requests you go on a double date w/ his Mommy ...
"... B-b-b-b-but she's been deceased for years? " ...  Cue Norman Bates and the shower scene ... |
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It might be red flag IF ...
He says the first time you meet, we we're destined to be together foever. It might be red flag IF ... His Mom is riding in the back seat on your first date. It might be red flag IF ... When he tells you, you remind me of my ex wife.  Cool post Dancere 
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... @ MsTeddyBear  ... He picks ya up for the first date and ya can smell the ex decomposin' in the trunk!
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... He tells you, and everyone, he's 3/4 finished w/ his book.
And? You find reams of paper in Mommy's basement, all repeatedly sayin' NOTHING but: ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKE JACK A DULL BOY! And he keeps sayin' ... " ... Wendy I'm home ... Here's Johnny ... " And your name isn't even Wendy, and his isn't Johnny ...  ... REDRUM, REDRUM!!!
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... He asks ya to peruse a prenuptial on the first date and warns it must be signed in blood!
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... Ya lean in for the first kiss and he squirts ya w/ the spritz bottle ...
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... As you settle on the sofa, he dictates his entire dialogue through a megaphone, while recordin' it ...
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Or, when the lady starts each sentence with "My ex ....."
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... He asks if you've ever considered polygamy and can see yourself settlin' in Utah all the DAZE of your life!
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... While you are hot and heavy webcammin', he interrupts to query if you've a good life insurance policy?
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... He wears one white glove, sings all conversation in a high pitched soprano, while constantly tuggin' at his crotch w/ the other hand ...And brings his pet chimp!
... and his name is Melvin and he's an albino from Lithuania ... |
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... He still has the 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest' hospital bracelet on and keeps sayin' it is a good luck souvenir, and wants you to touch it!
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Or, when the lady starts each sentence with "My ex ....." ... AND, ends it w/ "My ex ... " |
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Edited by
Dancere
on
Wed 12/23/09 05:15 PM
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 ... When ya ask him if his bein' on the rebound might be a wee probbie, and he tells ya he's always loved trampoulines! ... "Get ready to Bounce"!
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... His slip is showing ...
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 ... He mutters 'Smell my fanger biooootch!" all night long in his sleep!
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