I have lived this week on a voyage
of reflection, leaving behind
trails of painful introspection,
I swam in the silky sea of ideas
of what I imagined life would be,
until rough waves of reality washed over me
leaving me drowning in deep, dark,
familiar waters of hurt
and disappointment

Like an addict sucking soothing smoke swirling
out of a pipe cracked with overuse,
lungs breathless and body
going down fast,

I gasped and grasped at my dwindling dreams
and for one intoxicating moment,
held onto the life saver I frantically reached for
only to have it pulled away once more
by those who would demand payment
for the life I would live freely
if only given the chance

Floundering and desperate for air,
I found myself breathing deeply,
only to choke on the convoluted,
cutting and polluted words exhaled
by those I thought I could love,
leaving me trapped and impaled on the
sharp shards of my shattered
pipe dreams …

Bruised and battered,
losing everything that mattered,
I reached out with trepidation
in desperate search of sweet salvation,
only to come away empty handed,
my fingers singed in my fiery and
numerous attempts
to save my own life

Sickened and weary of this endless struggle,
I watched my once bright,
and now tarnished hopes take flight;
leaving me unpleasantly permeated in
the sour scent of despair as I watched my
life dissipate in the air,
the sad, smoky residue of
my dreams …


awh @ nov 28, 2009

Yes, I'm still alive. Just working on the book. ~xoxox

Miss you guys~ xoxoxox