I was dating this girl a while back and after a few weeks or so, she said she wanted to be friends because she wasn't ready for a close relationship yet, or something other to that effect..

I said, ok, I can do friends or whatever, having just come out of a serious relationship... I thought slow is good and perhaps we'll get to know each other if we're only "friends" for a while.

So, we talk for a while and it's been a few weeks since all this has happened. Last night she calls around 11pm and wants to come over and hang out. I put on a movie and we're sitting on the couch "hanging out". About one hour goes by, and the next thing I know without any words ever being spoken, we are in the bedroom having wild and crazy sex..

She tells me when we are done, that she doesn't want the relationship, just friends with benefits.

There was a time, this would have been sweet music to my ears. As I've gotten a little older, I"m just not sure that's what's it's really supposed to be about. I don't know... Is that what it's really all about, getting laid with minimal feeling involved?

Depends on who you ask the question to.

If you don't want friends with benefits, just be honest and tell her so. It's not about what's wrong or right, or what you should do at a certain time in life. There are some people who are never ready for a serious relationship- different strokes for different folks and all that. Just be honest with her. You might have to end the friendship, it's hard to be just friends when one person wants more.

Every post I've ever seen from you has indicated that a FWB is all you'd ever be interested and that you hold women in contempt. So I really don't know how to answer this.

Thank you for your kind words and you've probably only read a very small precentage of my posts in which there is no indication of me being serious. FWB is fine, I just get tired of Fu@king people, you know what I mean?

If it's not what you want, you're tired of it, then stop my friend If you want more, don't give up the search.

well first of all
i dont think your finding the right women if you are looking for a serious relationship
second it doesnt sound like she is at your maturity level?
friends with benefits isnt a bad thing.. but since she is the one who labelled it i think you need to run.. and run fast
and its not like its all her fault because its not as if you objected.
your trying to court her when she has already stated that your relationship with her isnt going anywhere
dont get attached my friend!

I think casual sex nullifies itself, one of the most pointless things I've observed in my life...the only thing that one-ups that is stupid people.

I probably only have read a small percentage of your posts. However, I find that when someone makes repeated derogatory remarks about a particular kind of person as a "joke" it usually means there is some underlying hostility that is real. I'm just stating my observation of the situation. I could be completely wrong.

As far as your question goes, no, that's not all there is. Meaningless sex is easy to come by. Meaningful relationships are harder to find but they exist. If you want something meaningful, hold out for it.

You messed up. Dildos (human or not) should not speak. Either accept it or move on.



I've only been here a short while, and I agree with you about the OP's posts. Maybe karma is biting him in the azz??

Thomas, I've known you for a while and although you may say things at times that might reflect where some have gotten their opinion of you, I do know you to be a different and kind, caring person....


That being said... If you're not into the FWB thing then move on, I have a feeling friendship isn't in the cards on this one unless you only want a unemotional sexcapade at times... You have to do what works for you..

Personally, I don't like using people and I definitely don't like being used.

If you want something serious, she is probably not the right one for you.

Are you joking? I haven't had sex with or without meaning for ten years now. If I want to know the meaning of "sex", I have to look it up in the dictionary. Or ask my five-year-old son to draw me a diagram.

(((Princess)))

I see this as purely honesty! She is just being straight with you and you have to at least respect the fact she is being honest with you. We live in a society today that no longer sees marriage as the only moral sex. So if that is the case then really the rules of sexual encounters are all out the window unless you yourself set some ground rules. But anyone that has premartial sex really has no grounds for critsizing anyone else. If you have some moral standard that you yourself have created don't subject others to it.