"I am writing to you about the man I have been dating for over seven
years. We are not engaged and there is no commitment on his part. We see
each other only when it appears to be convenient for him," writes
Shirley of Janesville, Wisconsin.

"He's 42, never been married, and is extremely selfish. (He) has money
for all of (his) toys (he bought an airplane with other people, drives
an Italian sports car, has a ski boat, etc). However, he does not want
to spend money on me. He was coming to my house every night to eat
before he left for work, and would only
take me out one night a week to an inexpensive restaurant. He expected
me to leave a tip. He never does anything to help me at my house, but I
used to go to his house and clean and do his yard work. He spends all
day sometimes with people he doesn't even know, but never can spend all
day with me.

"I am an attractive woman who has taken good care of myself physically.
I love him, but I know (we) will never have a future. I already know
what I should do, but it's very hard for me to say "good-bye". I'm tired
of being available only when it is convenient for him."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are involved with an emotionally unavailable man. Emotionally
unavailable people are hard to get close to, and even harder to stay
close to. They don't want a "normal" relationship--they want to be
alone, with other people, or off doing their own thing--which invariably
does not include you.

How do people act emotionally unavailable?


* They're emotionally distant and extremely remote, except when
courting.


* They're too busy, sick, tired or preoccupied with other things. Their
energy, time and life-force are all taken with other priorities.


* They frequently work a lot , and don't have quality time to spend with
you.


* They're not responsive. They ignore you and your requests, and they
don't try hard to make a relationship work.


* They don't, won't or can't commit to a relationship.


* They may be extremely critical and judgmental, so you may have a hard
time doing anything "right" in their eyes.


* They may flirt with other people, and may not value monogamy.


* They may watch TV or sports a lot, read, work-out, or otherwise be
preoccupied with something or someone that routinely interferes with
their ability to be with you.
* They may be addicted to some substance, such as alcohol, drugs or
food, which renders them incapable of being present and truly available
to another person.

* People already married or involved with someone else are
frequently emotionally unavailable, regardless of what they
profess.
* They do not place a value on acting with honesty, honor or
integrity in their relationships with others. They're full
of excuses as to why they can't be with you, do things with
you, or be available for you.

If it seems that you routinely love your partner more than he or
she loves you, that you express affection, care and commitment more
than you receive, presume that you are involved with an emotionally
unavailable partner.

Emotionally unavailable people may profess to love you and care
about you, and they may make wonderful promises about your future
together, but they don't follow through with believable behaviors
that make you feel wanted and secure around them.




http://www.heartrelationships.com/ARTICLES/SabotagingaRelationship/EMOTIONALLYUNAVAILABLE.htm

Very insightful, thanks for sharing this. :)

yes i thought it was and wanted to share i saved it to refrence back to

interesting

Goo

Good to see it written down. Thanks.

she should bill him for all her yard work and expenses .he will dump he
himself and save her the hassle of running the asshole over with her car
in an accidently on purpose manner.

her himself not he himself.

I sometimes come across as emotionaly distant or distracted.
But am I out of place to expect my signifant other to participate in
some of my distractions when I invite her to join
me in a social,business or recreational activity I was doing befor we
became a couple?

By the way any thoughts as how to approch the fact she avoids social and
or cultural activities that I belive are or should be of personal
interist to her even when I suggest them or volanteer to attend them
with her.