So, it occurs to me that there are many lonely women who just want a man to share thier bed. Since I cannot be everywhere at once, a brainstorm occurred to me. (unless it was a slight aneurism)

Virtual Krupa.

With only a few common household items, you too can experience the extacy of sharing your bed with me.

Items you will need:

1 mop.....not the sponge kind and a Swiffer just ain't gonna work.
1 pair glasses or shades
1 dog
1 "Road House" dvd
1 can chili.....the cheaper the better
1 Polish sausage


Place mop on bed beneath the covers....moppy side up
Adorn with glasses or shades

throw Polish sausage under the covers....doesn't really matter where cause sometime during the night it will end up flopped over your leg.

Feed the can of Chili to your dog

play the "Road House" dvd to the part where Sam Elliot is talking then hit the loop button on your remote (I got a deep voice)

slide under the covers and let the cuddling begin. After about an hour when the chili really hits the dog and it won't stop farting is when the simulation gets very realistic. Note! keep dog away from lit candles, pilot lights and space heaters.

(Still working on a way to simulate sleep apnea and heavy snoring..so just use your imagination)

The simulation only gets more realistic when you start griping at your mop after a few weeks when you find yourself saying....."You seem so emotionally closed off. Why won't you talk to me?"

Yes ladies......your wildest dream can now become virtual reality.

Enjoy ladies.......no more lonely nights for you!

LMFAO!!!!!!! Krupa, you freaking kill me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<----My picture also applies to this post, after reading it..

My dream as just came true

WTF are you a-holes laughing at? I am just trying to help in the desperate plight that so many lonely women face.

But Krupa, I suspect lies here! I bet your .....well perhaps this is better left unsaid and to my imagination....

Lies? Moi????

Au contraire

This is spot on accurate.

That's great, krupa!! The only thing that I have from your list is the Road house dvd!! No dog, I have a cat!

Hes not lying, He stayed with me lastnight and its the same thing!

Cats eat chili....try it out and let me know....I can modify this to include cat lovers as well if it works......(must make you cuss and your eyes water and burn)

Tell em Angelo! Just trying to make the world a better place.

Don't believe it for a minute, been around this block before and know a man when I see one....and a man CAN! and wants to...

But he forgot to mention the beef jerkey breath

Maybe I will!!

Krup -you forgot the intoxicating scent of "Hi-Karate"

that the ladies should spary liberally the bedroom

Yes my love. It accents the "Au du Monkey Fart" stench that is the Krupa.