I really do believe my 18, soon to be 19 in Dec. needs some serious counseling or some help, problem is he does not live with me, he lives with his authortarian dad and he had refused any kind of help in the past. He smokes too much weed, gets into it verbally and physically with his dad, mostly verbal, is rebellious, had some anger issues, and basically is confused, I think. He does hold a job, and people love him for his personality but I think he does need some guidance. Maybe some intervention, what would you do if he was your son and you felt that something should be done before it's is too late? I feel he needs a life coach or something, his dad can not get thru to him, I don't know if it's the way he deals with him or just his reacation to him. What to do?

Eighteen is legal age in the states so there is not a lot either parent can do in this situation.

If the home situation continues to be violent it is likely your son will be kicked out or arrested for domestic violence. Or drugs or both.

Since I doubt your husband wants to go to jail or loose his home for harboring a drug user he would be smart to put him out.

He may be your child but if you let him move in with you before he gets himself in Rehab then you deserve the misery that is sure to follow him.

Sorry I know this is a painful situation. Hopefully he will wise up. I doubt a life coach would do him any good. Time for mentoring has long since passed.

just my $.02,

Maybe he needs time on his own to grow up? Perhaps he is frustrated, bored - or has not figured out what he wants out of life yet?...

Maybe find out what he likes, support him in it - and encourage him to be better than he is, rather than trying to styfle him and put him in a box?

Don't kick me, but sounds like a "typical" adolescent to me. It's difficult when someone you love does not act in the way you expect them to act...

When your child was young, and you say "the fire is hot, don't touch it it will burn you"... do they touch it anyway? Of course they do...

I can't tell you what to do because I don't know... but the advice I can offer is that someone will only get healthier when they decide they want to. Be wary about what you push on him, because it could just as easily push him away.

sounds like they could both benefit from counseling. Dad might want to think about finding another way of communcating with your son. Whatever he's doing doesn't seem to be working.

first, I wonder what is too much weed? is there an acceptable amout for a 18 year old to smoke?

second, argues with his dad, rebellious, anger issues, confused. that sounds like the definition of ALL teens to me. I wouldn't worry about anything being too late. he's just going through the teen thing

It actually sounds like most of my male friends when they were that age.

All they did was smoke weed - and drink. They got into it with their parents - but what kid hasn't?

Pushing them to get help is only going to push them away from you, especially since he doesn't seem to want any.

If he holds a steady job and he's personable, I don't think there's any need to worry. It's when he's jacking off with his life & not realy sociable is when there's usually a problem.

maybe you both need to let him figure his own life out as an adult...he's 18....and probably frustrated he's still living with his dad...if he's getting into physically with his dad...then that's another issue be wary of police getting involved