Here's a little something off the wall I came up with tonight. Maybe it's me that's not all there..you know..to come up with stuff like this, lol.

You might not be all there....

If you own a german sheperd that chases parked cars, and then wonder why he now has a pug nose.

If your barber is a 24/7 shaky sloppy drunk, and crack head, and you wonder why there are always zig zags and deep gashes in your head after he's thru.

If you walk a weiner dog on a logging chain and live in fear that he will snap it in two if he sees a cat.

If you play russian roulette with a suicidal friend, that has a six shooter, that you know is loaded with 6 bullets, and you insist on going first.

If you go to the fanciest restaraunt in town, and try and park your AMC Pacer right up there with the Porsches, and then wonder why a wrecker is trying to tow your vehicle before you even get it parked.

If you go to the zoo, and notice people are pointing and staring at you instead of at the animals.

If you now go around buying for half price, used lottery tickets that didn't win, thinking your chances will be doubled, since you used to pay full price for them when you weren't quite as smart and your odds weren't quite as good.

If you go bungee jumping with a logging chain.

If you find idiotic things written on bathroom walls, then think it's only a mere coincedence that that person's name written on the walls, has the exact same name and phone number as you.

If you ride a moped and are as happy and proud as can be that all the biker chicks are smiling and waving at you all the time, when in reality, they're not smiling and waving to you at all, they're hysterically laughing at you, and flipping you off.

If you get mad at your dog for going to the bathroom outside.

If you put your arm into a nestfull of rattle snakes, just to see whichones don't bite.

If you take a hot chick to the most elite restaraunt in town, and then try to pay your tab with foodstamps, because you left your twenty piggy banks full of pennies in the car, and your hot date refuses to go get them for you.

If you make a first date with a hot chick, then arrive at her house with an armfull of vcr tapes of reruns of Gomer Pyle, and proudly enquire.. Shazam!..where's the vcr?

If you go to flea markets early early..trying to get there before some other idiot buys all the good 8 track tapes.

If you just got back from fishing, and you offer hookers slimy catfish in exchange for sex.

If you're in a war, and you throw sticks of dynamite at the enemy, and then the enemy lights them for you, and throws them back.