I would think most men would handle it like you do...I wouldn't want to be dishing out unwanted advise or punishment to the children of a man I was dating....not my job.

I would not tell a womans kids what to do or how to do it if i were dating them. However if the kids were to out of hand i could not stay with the woman. If i am imbarrased to be seen with the kids i will not be there.

I agree with this.

If the kids are out of control, I'm probably not gonna be around long.

Again I'll state...these "boys" are 25, 18 and 15 and not out of control...
could you just let them be, love me and just be friends to my sons?

Sure.

Hell..they aren't " kids "...if they ask for advice, I'd let them know what I think...but I'm not forcing my way into anything.

My post wasn't actually referring to your " boys " though...lol

My 17 year old son is my best friend. I get along with kids just fine. I even like his music.lol

i imagine that the guys were trying to show you that they were willing to take an active role in your children's lives as well as yours, perhaps to up their ranking in your eyes, perhaps because they legitimately cared.

once the relationship is a bit more established, i think it'd be hard to become part of a family and not share in the parenting role. what's the other person supposed to do, just sit by and watch you be a parent and he or she just be the outsider looking in?

a friend of mine once told me that the hardest thing he'd ever had to do was blend two families. this coming from a guy who'd beat cancer and lost a newborn son.

i'm not a perfect parent and i'd be willing to take advice from anyone who cared enough about my children to offer.

I'm open minded enough to take advise..if I ask. It is hard to give advise about someone you know nothing about. Again, these are young men who never had a father..Some maybe cared, some were obit over zealous. In an established relationship of course adjustments could be made..3 dates does not constitute a solid relationship.
And again, at my boys ages even my parenting role is not what it was years ago.

My step father did just looked on, unless my mother asked for his help or in put. He said there were days when it was very difficult for him to just watch... and listen particularly if one of us was arguing with her. He has said over the years (34 years they have been married) that he never felt he needed to step in. He was getting to know us and she had the advantage of knowing us from the time we were sweet babies and he didn't have that advantage. lol