Hi CAT,

Thanks, this is unfortunately something I have experienced personally on
more than one occasion, (pretty stupid of me, huh?) so I'm just speaking
from my experiences. Every person is different, but in order to change
a major behavior problem one has to be willing to seek help and work at
changing it and sadly enough, this guy doesn't sound like he's willing
to do this, despite EvanLia's constant support.

EvanLia, I hope things work out for you, you sound like a strong and
caring woman and IMHO you deserve to be with a man who will be there
100% for you.

SheNerd :)

Divorce him now

dont know what to say , sorry to hear that though.

Welcome to JUST SAY HI,,,but as YOU are married and still living
with your husband,,I think that HE is not the ONLY one in YOUR household
with a problem...

You need to divorce then LOOK for company, NEVER THE OTHER WAY AROUND,
and seperated is STILL together,,and he lives with you.

You are so CLOSE to doing NOTHING but what HE IS DOING,,that YOU say HE
has a problem,,,HELLO!!!

wow.. Iam4u.. you should be a co dep counselor.. yes.. I know I am the
problem if I stay. I allow him to do this to me. you are right. trust
me... I have made small steps... I have looked into rentals and buying..
got my credit score and talked to a mortgage lender. I am pre approved
for when I do want to leave. you do speak the truth and thanks..my
husband says for me to stay... so we lead separate lives. don't know
about that. anyway.. thanks for the welcome

look for comopany? I made it quite clear I am looking for a friend to
talk. simple.. I do have some sense of integrity.. thanks for your
forwardness..

EvanLia,

I've been through the same thing. I couldn't fix her and you cannot fix
him. You will be better off without him.

I think you have been quite forthright in explaining your circumstances,
and was quite clear on your desire for friendship. NOT a relationship.

I have to ask...you mentioned children, and without knowing for sure, as
you have not mentioned this, is part of your reluctance to leave the
house at this stage, the children?

Are you being cautious?

It seems you have tolerated a lot, and for quite sometime, and some of
it, very humiliating behaviour by your husband. I wonder would you have
tolerated as much as you have, if you did not have children?

It does take courage to forgive, and to want to try and salvage a
marriage, and it also takes courage to end a marriage.

I applaud you.

thank you .. yes.. I have children. one is ready for college and
concerned with her own life and getting good grades.. honor student..
accounting then on to law school. She does not like my ex... I am laying
low until she is secured in school. my son.. likes to have change in his
life.. if was JUST ME.. hell.. yes.. I would have left long ago... it is
quiet here... he is not home much.. works long hours.. my step sons are
great.. they are older... they stop by now and then... my son loves them
and they love him. they don't do drugs.. or drink and just great kids...
wonder what happened to their dad???? anyway.. thanks for your
support...

I'm married, but separated. I couldn't take living with him any more so
I got my own place. I strongly believe he's been having an affair for a
while, but he'll never admit it. I stayed for 6 weeks while looking for
a place - that was the hardest 6 weeks - we hardly spoke to each other
at all...it was like a light switch went off - one day things were
normal (I thought) then he told me he didn't love me, didn't know if he
ever did. Then BAM - he quit having dinner with me, he quit doing my
laundry (his only chore), everything. It was really odd.
I'm sorry..
Anyway - I wish you luck with this...hope we can help here!

hello

hi EvanLia welcome... i agree with Iam4u... get a divorce... and i also
agree that you cannot fix him.... you know what you want in life, and
focus on taking care of you because you and the people you are connected
to are worth it