Thank you rivergirl. That is an excellent insight. In the end, it does
come down to the risk you take, doesn't it?

Rivergal, as usual I agree with you 100%. :)

Well, sometimes they do purposely lie. I was talking to one girl last
year, who sent me a number of pictures of herself. Turned out the
pictures were from when she was in college, some 12 years (and about as
many dress sizes -- not to be shallow, but we ARE talking dishonesty
here) ago.

I think a webcam can help somewhat, in that sort of circumstance -- you
do, presumably, get to see the person in real time, more or less -- but,
still, you're only going to see as much as that person wants you to see.
And it might not really be "them" at all....

hi everyone. hey rivergal and shenerd how's it going? i
agree with rivergal, its all about the risk. i look at it like this,
every aspect of your life is full of risks so why should this aspect be
any different plus you will never know who you will meet or what you can
accomplish until you decide to take that chance.

cashay68: I began dating a year ago, which was a year after my
separation from my now ex-husband. I took that year to get my sh*t
together, to heal the emotional wounds of the end of a 19-year marriage,
to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I finally felt I was ready to
date. I had completely forgotten about the possibility of, was I ready
to get my heart broken? I wasn't! But then who ever is?

Actually, no one ever broke my heart. I dated a bunch of jerks who just
wanted sex, nothing else out of the relationship, when I was looking for
more from a man. So, I broke my own heart by getting my hopes up.

Lex-Marshall McLuhan would have us believe in the inevitability of
technological determinism. I guess there comes a time to unplug and show
up in person in order to make a relationship work.

cashay-I am seeing a very practical approach from the women who have
responded. Thank you very much for joining in!

To me, so often life is like that INDIANA JONES movie, looking fot the
lost chalice. He has to take a step into what looks like a huge chasm.
The step has to be a total step of faith, against all his other sense's;
casting his fate to the winds.

Dating is much the same, we communicate in all manners, but in the end,
it is a step in faith. We hope not to take a terrible fall; never know
till we act. So, wen you feel it is right;
MEET & see where it goes.

Always remember, odds are good, meeting won't kill anybody.
So "DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF"

oldsage, thank you very much. Faith is a choice we renew daily. As
always-I want to be like you when I grow up!

Me, too. :)

At least we have something to aspire to, huh SheNerd?

Rivergirl, we must be meeting the same guys. That's why I state upfront
that I intend to remain celibate til marriage. It's the truth, and as a
bonus, I find it scares off the losers and the players and similar trash
who are only out for a good time.

Nusalor, it is something to aspire to, but I fear I will never get there
wisdom-wise.

hey rivergal, i feel you on that. i was dating a guy for two years and
we were talking marriage but then he got transferred(in the navy) out of
state and he started acting all weird on me so i told him to take some
time(a year) to think about what he wants and if i'm part of that. i
know it was a big risk but i'm glad i did. during that time i realized
that whatever he decided i'd be cool with it because i found my inner
strenght i found who i really was and for that i have no regrets.

You're still relatively young, SheNerd. For the examined life, wisdom is
an attribute of age.

Nus, wisdom is more from experience.
Was an old sage long before I was truely old.
Product of school of hard knocks & lots of miles.
Had some good teachers, if I didn't learn;
slap upside the head or a kick in the ass;
got me to pay attention.
Got both many times.

Nusalor, thanks for the compliment, but IMHO at almost 40 I should have
my stuff together better than I do at present.

SheNerd-the yardstick by which you measure your own personal progress is
a thread unto itself. Oldsage has quite the grasp on that with his last
response.
It would be too trite to say don't be hard on yourself-when you are the
only one who really knows the measure of your happiness.

Hi JSH,

Here's my take. As long as I am on JSH I'm going to lay it on the line
for people to see. When Bonnymiss and I said the L word to each other we
both realized that we were going to have to tell it or take it off line.
She knows that she has all the freedom in the world with me. She also
knows, that if she puts egg on my face, I'll make a great tasting
omelet.

Love is about wanting the best for the other person. If your on an open
forum like this you might as well make it clear. Go look at my profile
ladies. Maybe some of you men might want to as well. I'm a big boy, and
Bonnymiss deserves my best. If she decides what we have is not for her
than what harm was done. Not a thing. If we keep falling deeper in-love
than this will be a great example. Whatever God's plan is for us is
God's business. For you who don't believe in God. Whatever it is that
you have planned is your business. My statement still stands. No harm
done. "I love bonnymiss". There, plain and simple. was that hard to say?
Not at all.

Jess (who I love reading) brought up a good point. Most on-line
relationships don't make it. Lets be real about it. I trust her, and
these probably are the facts, but at the same time, if I am to stay up
here than I should let it out for people to know. We made the
announcement together as a team. We're looking at the future not the
past.

Let me share something to you while bonny is away for a couple of days.
If she really did come back and say "Michael love I'm sorry, but this
isn't going to work out" do you think that I'm going to say something
bad so I can pretend I feel better about myself? No way! It's because I
feel good about myself that I can say, would say, and will say,
Bonnymiss is the most beautiful, gracious, loving creature on the
planet. I love bonny, because I love me, and another thing. I want to
honor her by telling all of you that I LOVE YOU, as well. This is a
relationship site folks, or did I miss something when I joined? Friends,
Lovers, Partners for life. What's there to be afraid of?

Friends no one can burn you, but you. We are adults, and we know how
love works. If you don't yet, you better start by loving yourself. It
also might not be a bad idea to let others on JSH love you as friends.
Ask them questions on a post or in private, whatever works for you, but
at then end of the day share your thoughts. That's what healthy families
do.

I can't speak for the women, but let me ask you men, man to man. Why are
you afraid of posting who you love if your going to be on an open site.
Guys, the women up here are not going to buy the flirt thing. "Oh, I'm a
flirt, but your my woman". Come on guys!!!!! get real. If your gonna
flirt guys give her the option to walk away. Guys, by the same token if
you say the "L" word you had better be secure and proud enough to put it
before the world. Give your woman something see can point to, and say
"that's my man".

Here, let me help you.

bonnymiss, I love you, and am falling in-love with you. If this last a
week for you than I want you to know it has been the most beautiful
week. If this last a lifetime for you, than I want you to know that I am
the luckiest man in the world. Sweetheart you belong to God, and I pray
he gives you to me, and me to you. You have my heart!!!

As the song goes,

as I write this letter
I send my love to you
remember that I'll always
be in-love with you

Treat your partner right, and share the love,

michael

michael
wow