when you have met someone that you really like but your child doesn't like him? I met someone and things are going pretty good, but my 9 yo daughter doesn't like him at all. She says she doesn't know why, she just doesn't. On the other hand, my 7 yo adores him. I have dated before and she was ok with them, there is just something about this one that she isn't liking. I don't want her to think she can control my life by telling me who I can and cannot date, but I don't want her to be unhappy either....Any suggestions?

if she cant give you a good reason then you should continue seeing him.

Thank you...I think that's what I am going to do and just give her some more time and see if she will come around. My ex is going to talk to her the next time he has them and see if he can help....just hope that's a good idea.

Well, your daughter says she doesn't know why she doesn't like him...She does, she is covering the reason because she doesn't want to hurt you. It could be that she liked the situation before...It is the fact that she isn't comfortable.
You don't have to let her control your life, that would be wrong and you will be miserable. Maybe you should just sit her down and have a long talk about why she doesn't like him and how she can get over it...

My son will never accept anyone in my life. But I only have 4 1/2 more years until he is 18

I haven't run into that yet. My child doesn't meet the men that I date. I will only let my child meet somebody that I'm serious about.

But...if something like that did happen, I hope I will remember that it's my decision and not my child's.

Has this happened with anybody else? I do think that sometimes they don't like change and they want to keep the family the way that it is.

I see that you're separated. Maybe she hopes that you and Dad will get back together.

Good luck.

My mom and I have both sat her down multiple times and discussed it with her. She says she doesn't know why, but I know she does and I don't think she wants to tell me for fear of hurting me. I also think she was getting used to it just being the 3 of us and not wanting someone else to come into that. My daughters and I are close and I think she is worried about someone else getting my attention or changing the way things are between us. Only time will tell how things will go.

It's more likely it's not him that she doesn't like... she just doesn't like you with someone other than her "father"?? Or just doesn't want to lose your attention to him.
You're right, she doesn't get to control your life. And if you give in, it will happen again.
Whether it's this guy or what to have for dinner, it doesn't matter. She is the child and you are the parent. Every child needs to learn that "I don't know" is not a good enough reason for anything.

Accept my wishful blessings for health, happiness and success for you and those you love.

Well, in the reality of some points. Intuition and spiritual gifts. I'm not saying to stop seeing the gentleman, but it is with attentitive caution in which your daughter is displaying her dis-comfort.

I'm sure you can understand this in the sense of "Women Intuition", our children are in the innocence of spirit and they are usually wide open to their guardian spirits.

Just listen carefully. You are her earth guardian mother and it may need your attention on this subject.

Many Blessings,
SpiritWolf

Thanks everyone. I had pretty much madethe decision that things will work themselves out over time, but I am not going to let her control my life. If she can control this, it will never stop and that is not going to happen. She will come around in her own time. I just hope it's sooner rather than later, so it's easier on everyone.

I am absolutely concerned with her discomfort. I believe that children tend to sense things that we adults do not. This is one thing that worries me a lot. Time will tell.

This is a very common issue with some new couples and their children. I suggest you just teach her, no matter what it is, she has to have valid reasons for things. Especially when it comes to issues that affect other people's lives.
She will probably come around, once she figures out things are working out for the better.
I know my daughter is 11 and tries her best to control me She's at that age where she thinks she knows everything I keep reminding her, I did make it to become an adult long before she even came along
Good luck on your path

Well if that's the case, then why does your other child adore him? Go with your gut and just keep a mother's watchful eye out.

Sometimes though Jill, "I don't know" translates to "I don't understand". This child is only 9 years old, I think? She may very well be confused as to why she is feeling dislike towards this new "beau", especially if she has liked others before him like the OP stated. I agree that the child has no business controling any aspect of their parents personal life, however, they don't always understand why they feel a certain way.
In this case, I agree that giving her more time, considering she doesnt have a specific reason, and sitting down and talking with her like an adult, may very well be the best thing to do. If nothing else, it will show her that her mother values her opinion, and is willing to take her seriously, so long as she is willing to be serious on her part as well; a very major life lesson for all children.

My youngest is a very open and accepting child that is like her mom and can accept almost anyone. My oldest is more reserved and shy. I can assure you that I don't take my eyes off my children when there is anyone I don't know around, too many bad things can happen in a second.

I would take her to talk to some one. If she has been fine with past boyfriends, I think it is more than just not wanting to see you with some one besides dad. My daughters always opened up to my best friend. Try to find a person for her to talk to that is relatively third party.

And have your friend try to keep it conversational too. Don't try to pry it out of her. The more comfortable she feels, the more she will say.

Sometimes children just get a bad feeling about someone. I never bring anyone around my boys UNTIL I know that I really like them and I think I am going to be with them for a long time. I also actually do a search on someone IF I want to have a relationship with them. IF they have nothing to hide, then they don't mind sharing the information needed to check them out.
You can not let your children control you but you also can not let your children be uncomfortable around this person. There has to be a reason why your daughter does not like him. I would say that you really need to sit down and have a long talk with her and find out whats going on. If she has a strange feeling about him...I would say listen to her!!!
Good Luck

is there any reason why you can't continue to date him, without having your children involved in the date, at least until, or unless, it becomes more serious? maybe it'll taper off and end on its own, without your child's involvement.

If things are going pretty good, this guy deserves the chance. You need to sit your daughter down and explain to her that you really like him and you are the one dating him, not her (not to sound so harsh sorry). If she does not like him she needs to give you a valid reason why. Otherwise continue with your business, she just may need time to get to know him more.