a member of ur family no longer with u. the passing of that life under grisly circumstances. how did u deal with it? just wondering, i don't mean to be morbid.

Not grissly, but sudden...my Grandmother....she has been gone for 23 years now and I'm still not over it....and now facing the fact that I will lose my little brother soon due to congestive heart failure....being prepared is not an option

My ex died with a coke rig in his arm...guess that's pretty grisly.

I lost my daughter to Cystic Fibrosis.It will be ten years in November.I went to a support group and my friends helped me get through it.It was very hard at the beginning,but it does get better in time.U never forget them in your heart.

a couple cancers, a couple nasty suicides...
Ya just deal with it..let the hurt burn it's way through. Cry, get angry..
eventually feel peace knowing they are pain free now.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother.My goes out to u and your family.

My Father committed suicide 15 years ago!

my wife died in car accident in march of 09. as far as getting over it.... i found it to be a matter of coming to terms with the fact she will never be there again in person but will be a part of what makes me who i am and i live every day trying to make her proud of me that is how i deal with it. it was hard accepting that there was nothing i could have done to change it, but when you are able to think about it rationally (it gets easier as time goes by) you can understand and just move on.

You have to realize there is no real right or wrong way to deal with it. Everyone handles their grief in different ways. You handle it the best you can. Do what you gotta do to move on. If you think you need help, make sure you get it. Don't avoid it.

thanx gaiz. i'm very sorry for ur losses.

what kills me i guess is how sudden and ugly it was. i want to avenge the life that was taken in such a barbaric manner because it was so pure and innocent. just feeling so many differnt things right now.

revenge may seem like it will make you feel better, but it won't. In the end, you're still having to deal with the loss of your family member and now the fact that you would have taken the life of another. Whether you feel they deserved it or not, is a hard thing to handle.
You don't get to make the decision. You can however do all that you can do, to make him/her pay legally. Prison since it sounds like there was a crime commited.
You should really consult a victim advocate hotline. They help family members, such as yourself as well.

http://www.avhotline.org/about/index.html
1-877-448-8678

My folks have passed, my mom when I was 16 of ovarian cancer, my dad a few years later of a stroke. I've had friends who passed from AIDS, overdose, train/car accidents, and cancers.

I dealt with each of them differently. Just have to let the process run its course. I think you eventually come to grips with the losses but you are forever changed by them.

I am sorry for your loss, skanktricil

a crime yes, but not one that is bound by society's laws. and nor would the taking of this life. but it's just a feeling i'm having. i probably wouldn't be able to find the perpetrator anyway.

the closest i've been to experiencing death like this is when my exgf's father died. i cried when she told me he had passed and i never had the chance to meet him. she had told me about him, but he got sick and died very quickly. mostly i felt sad for her, i didn't understand all what i was feeling then. i understand even less all the feelings i'm having now.

i was more or less wondering what other people have done to cope with loss. since i don't have an unlimited supply of xanax or wine, i can't stay locked up in my room completely obliterated. u kno?

my deepest sympathy to those who posted losing a loved one. i never knew what it was to feel loss like that.

...

Thank you so much....

So sorry you are going through this....will send a prayer your way

I lost both parents suddenly. My brother passed away in his sleep at 41. I was a mess for awhile as they were all within a 2 1/2 year time period. It's just a process that you have to go through.
I had supportive friends during the time that helped tremendously.

My point was there is no right or wrong way to deal. I've been thru more loss than any one person should. Alot of it still lingers with me everyday. But I had to make a choice. I had to decide to keep living my life and not locked up in the house depressed. My family wouldn't have wanted that for me.
You deal with it because you have to. You're only other option is for you to sacrifice your life as well. Staying locked up in your room is the same as sacrificing your life.

I chose not to ever forget them. I do little things... like light a candle them. Make a toast to them. Tell stories. It makes me feel better.
Cry if you need to.

Just remember that time still moves forward. Literally, before you know it, 10 years will have gone by. You have to decide what you will do with that time... The choice is yours. Blessed Be