once again my family has lost their minds.my mother thinks im running around not apply for jobs because she doesn't see it and my granny and mother both think i cuss when i go for interviews which i don't.

apparently according to my mother i can get a job tomorrow,but on the chance i told her i get an interview,she tells me to dont get my hopes up because of my background,which i dont have a felony.

apparently my mother thinks ive been "running the streets" which that cost gas money which i dont have and its kinda hard to go anywhere if you dont have gas money.but then again the last few times when i go to see my mom she always thinks im addicted to drugs,which i am not.its been at least 3 separate times where she think ive been addicted to drugs,so ive basically stopped going over there so much.

I got a sister that is a total wackjob She just got out of jail (again) and I am hoping she goes back soon

Your a grown up now.....parents sometimes self reflect on their own children. Dont listen to them. Go out and try for jobs and ignore the NEGATIVE feedback!

I understand. And I am not exagerating when I say that my sister is completely insane. Delusional. Mentally ill. I wish I was exagerating. And her current boyfriend is an moron. That sister of mine belongs in a mental institution but she will probably eventually get caught doing something bad enough to get some years in prison. My other sister is NOTHING like that. We cant stand my crazy sister and even our mom has had enough of her psycho crap. She isnt even allowed to come over to our homes anymore. My good sister doesn't even want her to be around her kids (my good sisters kids). My crazy sister cant have kids (thank God)

Be careful that you're not setting yourself up for their negativity. Just talk about the weather, news stories, spaying/neuturing your pets, asthma, anything except stuff about yourself. If they ask how the job hunt is going just say, "Coming along. Love you!" and leave the room.

Let all that negativity go in one ear and out the other. You know who you are and what you are doing and I think that is all that matters.

I say tell the crazy parents to bugger off.

Dang, that sounds like my friend's mom. My friend is K, her mom is C. K is married and has 4 children.

C thinks K can't take care of the kids. She thinks she doesn't feed them properly. K is fantastic in the kitchen is very good at meal planing. She thinks K can't dress the kids properly and has been known to call and make sure K sent the girls to school wearing coats. She also thinks K doesn't take good enough care of her home. K is a cleaning genius. She came over to help me out once when I broke one ankle and severely sprained the other. She managed to do what would take me a week of cleaning in only 5 hours. She should market her system and her organizational skills when it comes to domestic engeenering.

C has also been known to call K's childrens doctor, pretending to be K and asking about the kids or setting up appointments without K's knowledge. When K's oldest had been sick and had some shots and the doctor told K that the child shouldn't go on a trip to an out of state theme park with her aunt and cousins, C invited the girl to stay with them for the weekend. It was a cover, they sent her on the trip that the doctor said she shouldn't be going on. K has had to change doctors and now sees a cousin of hers who is a Physician's Assistant so she will recognize C on the phone and not give out information.

Several years ago, K developed a problem with the spincter on her stomach. It took a long time for the doctor to solve the problem. It was approaching the last option of surgery. But she wanted to try everything else first. She lost a lot a weight because she would have trouble keeping down food. C called K's doctor several times to say she thought K was Binging and Purging.

Now K has a thyriod condition that is being treated by meds. It took two years and three doctors to Diagnose. I don't know why it took them so long to find. I've had my thyroid checked 4 times in the last 10 years (not me asking, just doctors trying to find things out). And now C is saying it is all sorts of other things and totally gets on K's case for being overweight and not being able to loose it. The meds are making weight loss very difficult. But now that K see's her cousin, C can't call and poke her nose in K's medical conditions and treatments anymore.

K moved to a city an hour away. I still say if she moved to Chicago it wouldn't have been far enough from her mother.

Oh, she also charged K rent after K graduated, and turned out K was actually paying the entire house payment. One day she tried to tell K that she didn't pay her rent. A mutual friend, S was there at the time. S was there the day K paid the rent and the day C tried to say it never happened. And C would take the kids shopping when they would visit her and then expect K to pay her back. I was there the day that K found out that C was buying her kids on sale and telling K the pre-sale price. The day I was there, C dropped off the kids, asked K to pay for what she bought them, and then left. K was putting away the clothes and found the receipt in the bag. All items had been 50% off or better.

Awww? So sorry to hear that your own family cannot be supportive to you. It's ashamed that they're leading you to destruction. If you need someone to talk to, please let me know. I'm here, although I have some issues in my life but we could both share and learn from it and our experience together.

Anyways, try to stay away from people who are so negative. You do not need them, I mean these people in your life especially during this time (economic crisis) when you are down and depress because you can't find a job or can't move forward. They should be supportive of you specially this time of your life where you need them the most. Take care my friend and I hope it will get better for you. There's one quote that says, "There is always light in the other side of the tunnel". Have faith and keep your hope.

Your friend,
M

Sorry to hear that you have this issues too Lee. I do have problems with my siblings too, the only nice thing about it, is I live too far away from them. So, I do not have to deal with their sick behavior everyday. I hope she will get her act together soon. Good luck!

isnt codependent family fantastic?

trust me girl.. i understand.

While I am usually going to think that younger people don't want to see their parents view of a situation from what is discribed so far are clearly toxic parents and generally speaking toxic families.

Job search is, at best, a pain even with everyone who are suppose to support you encourageing you, opening doors for you, and giving you whatever boosts they can.

That said I can see an older parent being paniced by and adult child not having a job when yes; good jobs are pretty far between; jobs do go wanting every day. There are just so many rabbits a parent can pull out of the hat. Most of us older folks are worrying about staying afloat and not being able to help our kids when we see how hard it is for them is like being walked out on a plank.

I do believe as an adult if a family member is so disrupting your life that you have a chronic feeling that being around them has posioned your day you need to limit or even end contact. It is hard making it without family but if they are dead weight in a storm everyone perishes. IMHO Just because by accident of birth someone is in your life but does not reciprocate the love, respect, self control to be by majority a plus then it is only survival to not contiue to treat them as family.

Dealing with mental illness is very hard on families.

In the first case who knows which came first the chicken or the egg. When a child spirals into alcohol, drugs, and insanity even normal parents can crumble under the weight but some parents give them a push. Attacking the "normal" child for the normal downs of life is over reacting and transferrence of anger and frusteration. Sometimes you just have to get out of the hurricanes path and accept that some will refuse to do likewise. Sad because they are getting in the way of recovery but you are only responsible for your behavior.

In the case of C & K I would do my best to support your friend because her Mother is clearly mentally ill if she in fact has done what her daughter has accused her of. Manic people are very good at presenting a normal appearance to select people. Also I know very few if any doctors that will treat a child for anything without documentation that the parent has given even a grandparent permission. Doctor shopping and reciteing that many offenses about a parent seems kind of questionable. Seems like if she was doing that great of job with the kids she could/would have gotten a restraining order. Red flag warning.

and im not doing drugs thats why i cant understand where she is thinking this.ive stopped visiting my parents and i hide in my room from my grandparents cuz im granny said im too fat to get married.

tell her that there is a man in mexcio that weighed over 1000lbs hes lost some weight sense, and he got married, so if he can do it anyone can... your grandmother is bulling you..

I think it's time to divorce the family!!

They sound toxic!!!

I FINALLY divorced my toxic older sister and am better for having done so. It is not an easy thing to do but at some point you just decide to stop putting yourself in harms way.