In Defense of Man-Cow Relations: New Jersey Judge Drops Charges Against Police Officer for Having Sex with Cows On the Grounds That They May Have Enjoyed It.

New Jersey police officer Robert Melia Jr. will not face criminal charges for allegedly having sex with five calves under a perfectly bizarre ruling by Judge James J. Morley. We previously discussed the case, here. Morley dismissed animal cruelty charges on the grounds that the cows may have enjoyed having sex with Melia.


Morley ruled that oral sex with cows cannot constitute animal cruelty since the cows aren’t talking and may not have been “tormented” or “puzzled” by the experience.

In a simply amazing exchange with prosecutors, Morley went into the uncertainties of man-cow relations: “If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, ‘Where’s the milk? I’m not getting any milk,’” You are allowed to drop your coffee in amazement at this point.

Morley went on to explain that children are comforted by pacifiers and perhaps cows are equally pacified by police officers in these cases: “They [children] enjoy the act of suckling,” the judge said. “Cows may be of a different disposition.” You are allowed to throw up in disgust at this point.

Morley ignored that one cow head-butted Melia in the stomach and appeared far from happy. The prosecutor objected that the cows were “very upset” by Melia’s action and stated “I think any reasonable juror could infer that a man’s penis in the mouth of a calf is torment. It’s a crime against nature.” The problem is that New Jersey does not currently have a ban on bestiality as opposed to animal cruelty.

Morley did note “I’m not saying it’s OK. This is a legal question for me. It’s not a questions of morals. It’s not a question of hygiene. It’s not a question of how people should conduct themselves.” That is reassuring. However, since the cows can never complain about sexual abuse, Morley’s view would effectively end cruelty prosecutions absent physical injury. While “no means no,” “moo” means nothing in Morley’s court. Any defendant could use the Morley defense of “the cows enjoyed it.”

Melia is currently on suspension from the force in Moorestown. His girlfriend, Heather Lewis, is also accused in a case alleging sexual assault on three young girls. Child pornography was also allegedly found in his home.

Lewis is also accused of sexually assaulting a juvenile male.

Not does it defame “Jersey” cows everywhere, but Morley’s ruling gives Moorestown the unique claim to fame as the new vacation spot of choice for the bestiality set (New slogan: “You Can’t Say Moorestown Without Moo.”). I simply cannot understand the judge’s reasoning. While Melia will likely be put away on the other charges, Morley has created some disturbing precedent in this ruling that needs to be appealed by the prosecutors.

http://jonathanturley.org/2009/09/24/new-jersey-judge-drops-charges-against-police-officer-for-having-sex-with-cows-on-the-grounds-that-they-may-have-enjoyed-it/

The judge and the officer need to be fired. Thats all I can come up with, I'm still trying to bend my head around that stupidity.

it's only fair then that he recipricates! he needs to make the cow feel good........fair is fair! that should be his punishment!!! either fellatio, or licking cow vagina.





i hope to dammit, that he isn't making the cows wear lingerie...


maybe he's ready for a bull

WOW.....just....WOW!

I love cows too...BUT I LIKE THEM COOKED FIRST!

WTF??!! Exactly how did the judge determine the cows enjoyed the sex...did they light a smoke after?

Holy ****

I think that was his point, he cant determine that they did or didnt. Cows do suckle,,perhaps if the case involved some type of forced penetration....

In this crazy world, they might just be able to get married.

I've heard of stump trained cows before but thats ridiculous

The worst part is it was a cop that did it.
I woder how many sick people will go out and do a cow after this ruling

Pimp dem cows. That would make the vegans real happy.
They won't back-sass ya' and I wonder if they are cheaper to maintain than a regular hooker.

Why not give it a try and let us all know how it went?

"In Defense of Man-Cow Relations: New Jersey Judge Drops Charges Against Police Officer for Having Sex with Cows On the Grounds That They May Have Enjoyed It. "




That is one sick judge and one sick cop, IMO.

I thought that beastiality was against the law.


"Melia is currently on suspension from the force in Moorestown. His girlfriend, Heather Lewis, is also accused in a case alleging sexual assault on three young girls. Child pornography was also allegedly found in his home."

What kind of cop is that?! He needs to be fired and kept away from animals and children.