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| Topic: this one is lovely, please read | |
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since you asked... i have two questions for you 1) why did you choose to format this as a paragraph? 2) why do you feel the need to ask for validation instead of just putting a title and also in your responses you don't respond, you ask more questions...what is the point of this? i know that is more than 2 questions but, hey you asked. please do not take this as anything more than my curiosity i am a total novice and would never purposefully demean anyone who has the guts to put themselves out there like this... well the paragraph thing is the style i just kinda happened apon and it has been fun so far and i like to know what people think and why the think it. im not gonna tell anyone what it means to me that takes away from the beauty of the poem itself. id rather have people make their own meanings. and the questions help me figure out what the think it means. i am not sure it does take anything away from the work. sometimes it is nice to know what the author is thinking in the write...but, that is what makes poems different then say, a book. in poetry every piece can mean something different to every reader. a lot depends on where we are in our life. i think that this piece would be better served if it were written in a more traditional style. line breaks can be very effective at getting the emotion across...just an opinion... and btw...i think you do have the makings of a good write here. i just dont think it hit its stride as is... well thank you for your imput thanks for the discussion and having an open enough mind to do so... |
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since you asked... i have two questions for you 1) why did you choose to format this as a paragraph? 2) why do you feel the need to ask for validation instead of just putting a title and also in your responses you don't respond, you ask more questions...what is the point of this? i know that is more than 2 questions but, hey you asked. please do not take this as anything more than my curiosity i am a total novice and would never purposefully demean anyone who has the guts to put themselves out there like this... well the paragraph thing is the style i just kinda happened apon and it has been fun so far and i like to know what people think and why the think it. im not gonna tell anyone what it means to me that takes away from the beauty of the poem itself. id rather have people make their own meanings. and the questions help me figure out what the think it means. i am not sure it does take anything away from the work. sometimes it is nice to know what the author is thinking in the write...but, that is what makes poems different then say, a book. in poetry every piece can mean something different to every reader. a lot depends on where we are in our life. i think that this piece would be better served if it were written in a more traditional style. line breaks can be very effective at getting the emotion across...just an opinion... and btw...i think you do have the makings of a good write here. i just dont think it hit its stride as is... well thank you for your imput thanks for the discussion and having an open enough mind to do so... thanks for speaking lightly |
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well please come in and read
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Okay, I can't help thinking about "Edmund" (the younger brother), I believe his name is, in "The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe" or whatever order is proper for the name of the movie. It's been too long since I read the book so I can't compare with that.
There's a scene in the movie where he's all alone, craving the attention of the witch and the treats she bestows and at the same time missing his family who more than not doesn't see anything anywhere near the way he does so he always seems to feel he's, "inappropriate" around them. I thought about taking away the cigarette with him being in the scene, but the more I think about it, that is precisely something Edmund would do because he thought no one would "know". The analogy of the cigarette staying warm, I'm too literal for that. Whether your with another or by yourself, that cigarette is going to go out eventually just like life. |
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hmm...a very interesting perspective
although the ciggerette in my poem has a fluxuating time span just like any relationship it can take a long time or burn up very quickly |
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Well call me strange, but your story told me that a cigarette and a partner have similar aspects... what comparisons did you see? Take a cigarette...Enjoyable...Relaxing...You breathe it in...Light up it's life, as it does yours...A companion (of sorts) that makes you feel good, no matter what the surroundings are...Breath taking to the end of its life, addictive too... but...it can burn out all to quickly... Take a partner...Throw in all the above, and no difference...  What I said on page one, which goes in line with your perspective on the cigarette.... |
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Well call me strange, but your story told me that a cigarette and a partner have similar aspects... what comparisons did you see? Take a cigarette...Enjoyable...Relaxing...You breathe it in...Light up it's life, as it does yours...A companion (of sorts) that makes you feel good, no matter what the surroundings are...Breath taking to the end of its life, addictive too... but...it can burn out all to quickly... Take a partner...Throw in all the above, and no difference... What I said on page one, which goes in line with your perspective on the cigarette.... you had it right |
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once again please leave your opinion or bring about a discourse Good Bye Blue Skies The wind blows hard through the thick jacket of a cold wanderer. Meandering all over the snowy wastelands of nothingness. He takes a drag of his cigarette. It’s cold outside. The jacket comes off letting blankets of pure white snow cover the wild mind of a freezing body. Who can keep warm in a block of ice? He takes another drag. Sitting back into a chair comfortable enough to relax in and cold enough to die in. you can only trudge so far in the crystal white ice. The end could be near enough to end all endings. But can it all very well end like this. She takes a drag of his cigarette. The world is much warmer in pairs no matter how cold we all get. He takes the last drag. A cigarette is just the same. Only warm as long as it is in the hands of another.  Let's try again with this one: I quit smoking 2 weeks ago, and I feel jsut as warm as ever But that's not the meaning here, is it? "Goodbye Blue Skies"....doesn't bode well for a happy ending, so where does this end for you? Sunshadow or Darklight? |
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