Well done...Well put...Well written...

Well call me strange, but your story told me that a cigarette and a partner have similar aspects...

interesting

ok why did you think i was compairing the coldness of life to snow

I live in the mountains, in the snow and it's bone chilling as life can be..
Nothing warms like a fire (I believe) and the sharing of a smoke is like the sharing of a blazing fire..at times.

once again please leave your opinion or bring about a discourse



Good Bye Blue Skies
The wind blows hard through the thick jacket of a cold wanderer. Meandering all over the snowy wastelands of nothingness. He takes a drag of his cigarette. It’s cold outside. The jacket comes off letting blankets of pure white snow cover the wild mind of a freezing body. Who can keep warm in a block of ice? He takes another drag. Sitting back into a chair comfortable enough to relax in and cold enough to die in. you can only trudge so far in the crystal white ice. The end could be near enough to end all endings. But can it all very well end like this. She takes a drag of his cigarette. The world is much warmer in pairs no matter how cold we all get. He takes the last drag. A cigarette is just the same. Only warm as long as it is in the hands of another.

since you asked...
i have two questions for you

1) why did you choose to format this as a paragraph?

2) why do you feel the need to ask for validation instead of just putting a title and also in your responses you don't respond, you ask more questions...what is the point of this?

i know that is more than 2 questions but, hey you asked.

please do not take this as anything more than my curiosity i am a total novice and would never purposefully demean anyone who has the guts to put themselves out there like this...

well the paragraph thing is the style i just kinda happened apon and it has been fun so far

and i like to know what people think and why the think it. im not gonna tell anyone what it means to me that takes away from the beauty of the poem itself. id rather have people make their own meanings. and the questions help me figure out what the think it means.

i am not sure it does take anything away from the work. sometimes it is nice to know what the author is thinking in the write...but, that is what makes poems different then say, a book. in poetry every piece can mean something different to every reader. a lot depends on where we are in our life.

i think that this piece would be better served if it were written in a more traditional style. line breaks can be very effective at getting the emotion across...just an opinion...

and btw...i think you do have the makings of a good write here. i just dont think it hit its stride as is...

what comparisons did you see?