I know what a demand! What was I thinking?


I want to ask all those people out there with sisters, mothers, gal friends, daughters, anyone who has adult females in there lives, or are one....

please please please......take the time to get regular 'health' checks...

We women are funny creatures...we nag, and cajole, and demand the people we care for, to do the 'maintenance' checks...and then don't do the same ourselves...

You may remember my cousin...whose husband had a liver transplant back in June?

We had some time together when my uncle passed away, and were attending the funeral together....her husband asked me, begged me, to get her to the doctors as she had been experiencing some lower abdominal pain for a while....

and in all the years he had known her, and loved her...she had NEVER gone for a pap smear..

So, I took her off to the docs...held her hand...politely looked the other way...and got her organised for follow up tests...(ultrasounds ct scans blood works, etc)..

Yesterday she had a gyno appointment...where she was delivered the unfortunate news that she has advanced cervical cancer...


PLEASE take care of you, ladies....PLEASE take care of the women in your worlds...PLEASE go and have those inconvenient, embarrassing, uncomfortable maintenance checks...PLEASE nag, cajole, demand that they do...


it is preventable......and we are worth it.

Boobie check-ups are important too!

So sorry to hear about your cousin.

Oh Jess. My heart goes out to you and yours.

Just two weeks ago I went for my yearly mammogram. Everything is always OK, right? Dr. called. Hmmmm I see something need you to come back. My heart stopped. I sent an email very similar to what you posted to all the women in my life.

No need for a biopsy quite yet but we are "watching" it. Thanks for the reminder.

I can't agree with you more on this my heart and prayers goes out for your cousin.

At times we get so busy with our lives we forget about ourselves as well.

thank you for sharing and I will pray for her...

Jess, I'm sorry to hear this!

so, sorry about your cousin Jess

I agree MsMyka....


It isn't fun having stranger's poke and prod us....

it is usually so disquieting to have to do these things... so we avoid it... dodge, and weave...

My mother had a breast lump for TEN years....and it was only when she could no longer lie on that side, nor put her arm against her ribs did she seek medical attention...

and yes it killed her....

Sorry, Jess.

And yes it is very important to get those 'female' things done!

I had to go for uh, internal (am I allowed to say Vaginal) ultrasound last time and will have to have another one this time. All I could say when the tech, a woman, whipped out that big ole long corded thing was, "Tell me they sell those in the gift shop!"

Hahahaha!!!!!!!!! OMG Connie!!!!! When I had a similar exam done...I took one look at that puppy, and said 'no thanks, I've brushed my teeth this morning!!!!!'

WHEW! I am so glad you laughed. I was tettering on inappropriate given your news.!

Oh, thankyou for your want to be 'sensitive'....

I am not in any way shape or form 'sensitive' about these things...

Prectical, and efficient in the delicacies of womenly maintenance checks... I am the hand holder. the drag alonger....I'm selfish....I want the women in my world along for this wild ride called my life..


Get selfish please peoples...keep the loves in your life around for a long time.... BE around in your loves life, for a long time...




I think that is one of the things missing in our culture Connie.....laughing and finding humour, in the 'uncomfortable' bits of being a woman...

It's liberating to share stories, laugh ... and feel more 'normal'.

It's always good to laugh about these things.

I had a family doctor that did my exams for a while; she would always tell jokes.


Like what's viagra made of?

Well, as you know I have walked the walk of cancer with my husband. And I can tell you we laughed ALL the time. How, I do not know when you get a stage 4 diagnosis. We played pranks on the nurses when we were inpatient etc etc. Humor kept us going and still does me. Your friend may benefit from this as well. She will have times she needs to go fall apart too. But making her laugh will serve well.

I've just spent the morning on the phone with my cousin, and then her husband....

cracking jokes at her demise...some may call it insensitive.... but it is intended with love.... minimising the fear.... arresting the 'why does it happen to us?' thoughts...

Calling her the potential new 'porn star' and giving her vagina a kinky porn star name...trying desperately to minimise the sheer panic...trying to find for her a space of quiet.... of 'safety' in herself...


supporting them....loving them...

So what is the plan now? Have they staged her yet?

She's just left for the hospital to do the intake procedures.... and will get a surgical time whilst there...

it is all system's go...

Their son is with his biological father on a ski trip...so am meeting him at the airport when access is finished and bringing him back here...

Tony has still many medical needs himself, so the eldest sister is arriving this evening, to move in and drive Tony nuts taking care of the domestic business of their lives..

As many miles up and down the coast they require.... is what I can do for them.... if I am needed there, I am there, if I am needed here for their boy, I am here...

You know no matter what life throws our way if we can not laugh about it and find the humor in life along the way it makes it more drawn out and harder to face.... What you are doing in my eyes is the correct way to go about it.

Laughter really is the best medicine in life........

At this stage it is a full hysterectomy...while she is under, there is going to be a biopsy done on her ovaries....if they are sound and healthy she keeps them...if not...'Off with their heads!'..

I asked Tony, quietly, does he want me there, this evening...(they're about 6 hours south).... and we can throw my cousin a going away party for her uterous and cervix...

he said see how they are travelling this afternoon...