The older I get the longer my list of preferences grows....it becomes increasingly difficult to actually "find" this person.

Maybe I'm delusional... but I won't settle for anything but the best.

Preferences are just another reason to try to make society conform to idealistic ways. When people decide on preferences they mark others into different sterotypes. The world has always been like this, probably will always be like this. An utopian society will never be met where size, shape, color, etc doesnt matter. How do you know if someone is the right person for you if you dont take the time to know them because they dont conform to your idealistic thought of what is right for you? Next time someone is not pretty enough for you because of a various thought in your head and you dont take a chance, just remember, you might be passing up the greatest person that ever happened to you.

Setting my standard high gives me the leave way to alter them... and like Calleigh said it isn't about looks, money, things that people would think.

For me it is spirituality.. a merge, a lifestyle that promotes peace, calm, tranquility...finding one who would meditate with me would be awesome.

And I have adult sons who are a huge part of my life..that has to be factored in..

It doesn't necessarily have to be looks, it could be a certain lifestyle you're not into, or religious beliefs, the list goes on. If you ignore potential problems with someone just to avoid being alone, it can be a bad decision.

Yep. Like me for example, I could never date a man who's religious, because most religious people have a need to shove their religion down my throat. So I gravitate towards atheists or agnostics or just plain non-religious. For me to decide, oh I'll just date that staunch Southern Baptist over there because he seems like a really great person, I'd just be setting myself up for huge disappointment.

I knew i was going to get that response, im not saying that you should disregard your lifestyle and religious beliefs for another, by no means. But superficial preferences, are the ones i was speaking on. A polyamorous person might not be ideal for a monogomous person, a heteroflexable person is not going to make a gay individual to turn. Religion is a different story, many religions intermix. And those couples can lead successful relationships. But thats because they were open and accepting of their mates religion and lifestyle.

Regardless of the reason, it's a choice, we all have choices... As Guy said some may be altered b/c we might find other things in that person that mean more.. But if something means a lot to a person for whatever reason there is no reason they should change just to adjust to what others think... Society norms are what is deemed the norm at that time so whether it's your norms or a extremists norms it's still basically an opinion of how another thinks another should think/act/be...

I feel like you need to have boundries and a plan in your life to have some direction and actually accomplish goals but if you get too caught up with preferences in people it can sometimes keep you from meeting someone really great.

For instance if you would have told me that the love of my adult life, so far, was going to be a going to be a red head I would have laughed in your face. Until I met him I had and instinctual dislike for red-heads (from really bad experiences as a kid) and avoided them generally because it is hard for me to not show my reactions on my face. (Probably why it would never work for me to play poker.) But when we met rather accidently I just fell for him.