100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: The Fart Thread | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
CHURCH HYMN FART : The kind where you're sitting in church, you bend over to pick up a hymn book, and -PBBBBBBT!!!- a giant fart rips out. Fate dictates that you are sitting next to an old lady, who will scoot down the bench, looking disgusted. SIDE NOTE: Confucius say, Man Who Fart In Church, Sit In Own Pew.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The shart ... I'm too much a " Southa'n Belle" to dignify this one w/ a description ...
I think we all know what she means ... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The shart ... I'm too much a " Southa'n Belle" to dignify this one w/ a description ...
I think we all know what she means ...
Here in the northwest that would be called a vart.... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The shart ... I'm too much a " Southa'n Belle" to dignify this one w/ a description ...
I think we all know what she means ...
Here in the northwest that would be called a vart....
Vart are ya sayin then??? ... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The shart ... I'm too much a " Southa'n Belle" to dignify this one w/ a description ...
I think we all know what she means ...
Here in the northwest that would be called a vart....
Vart are ya sayin then??? ...
I'm too much of a a ummm mountain girl, yeah, mountain girl to describe... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The shart ... I'm too much a " Southa'n Belle" to dignify this one w/ a description ...
I think we all know what she means ...
Here in the northwest that would be called a vart....
Vart are ya sayin then??? ...
I'm too much of a a ummm mountain girl, yeah, mountain girl to describe...
Hmmm, do I detect a certain creamy, mountain goatiness to that shart, or vart? ... " When ya smell the Southa'n cross for the first time , ya understand " ...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Its tempting. I'm watching, waiting, hypothesizing. Thinking. Pppppppfffffttttt!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains she has practically make her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and every so gently lets out a very dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Rover!". The woman thought, "This is great! He thinks it's the dog!". A big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let out a much louder and longer rrrrrip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Rover!". Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Yes! This is perfect!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it nor did she hold back. She ripped a fart so big and so loud that it made the windows vibrate. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Damn-it Rover get away from that woman before she ***** on you! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Its tempting. I'm watching, waiting, hypothesizing. Thinking. Pppppppfffffttttt!!! That's called "The Observant Intellectual fart", right? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sometimes i fart and it sounds like a Mexican saying 'aruba' whilst on helium.
Call it whatever ya like! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Dancere
on
Wed 09/16/09 11:52 AM
|
|
"Who's cuttin' the cheese" (!?) fart ...
When you're rollin' down the highway a w/ a full passenger~per~seat load ... and one of 'em just will NOT cease and desist ... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I just cant do it!!!
Im keeping them!!!  
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Unknow
on
Wed 09/16/09 12:00 PM
|
|
Taco Bell farts:
Taco Bell farts are three to five minute long farts that mysteriously happen about six hours after you eat a Burrito Supreme or two, and a soft taco or two, and are asleep, often awaking the offender about halfway through. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I just cant do it!!!
Im keeping them!!!
THE ATOM BOMB FART : The atom bomb fart is loud as heck, and it smells bad too. Also results in a big explosion, and everyone falls to the ground. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Taco Bell farts: Taco Bell farts are three to five minute long farts that mysteriously happen about six hours after you eat a Burrito Supreme or two, and a soft taco or two, and are asleep, often awaking the offender about halfway through. Sounds similar to the "Bean around the block" ... the ENDLESS Texas pot 'o' beans and the fixins ... 'nuff said ... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
GNL Fart: Gambled 'n' lost. You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but realize tragically that this is much more than a fart...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
GNL Fart: Gambled 'n' lost. You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but realize tragically that this is much more than a fart... Vart didya say? ... ... Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, SHART!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TMI fart ...
Thanx for sharing??? ... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
GNL Fart: Gambled 'n' lost. You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but realize tragically that this is much more than a fart... Sucks to be them....... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not Now! (a.k.a Anal Control Fart): You feel the presence of a mighty fart, and are unable to release it due to your situation. Happens on first dates, at important meetings, and on other such inexcusable occasions. You clench your buttocks together so hard that you nearly give yourself a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends on a number of factors, but Sods law tends to win out in the end.
|
|
|
|
|
