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| Topic: looking for some advise | |
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Hello all. I have just broken up with a lady after roughly 4 yrs. Ok now to my situation she was living with me for a little over a year. She is still currently living with me and it brings along a lot of ackward scenarios, as well as her doing things that makes it seem as if we are still in a relationship. I spoke to her yesterday about moving out for a time so she can be certain that she doesn't wanna be with me, I told her to go to her parents house. She told me that her parents don't have the space to facilitate her and, that she has no where else to go. I told her none the less I think we need time away from each other to decide what it is we want from each other so I am gonna tell her to go to her parents. She has also stated that I am her confort zone or in actuallity her safety net
What I would like to know am I being cruel or cold-hearted by doing this or is this the right decision I am making by putting her out of the picture? |
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IMO you have to do what's right for YOU. she can't have her cake and eat it too. it may be hard for her, but I can't see living with an ex because it's uncomfortable and neither of you can move on with your lives.
who is on the lease? |
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Nope. You are not. How long would she otherwise plan to stay there and live for free?? Comfortzone and safety net???? Puhhlleese. That is translated my free ride.
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Hello all. I have just broken up with a lady after roughly 4 yrs. Ok now to my situation she was living with me for a little over a year. She is still currently living with me and it brings along a lot of ackward scenarios, as well as her doing things that makes it seem as if we are still in a relationship. I spoke to her yesterday about moving out for a time so she can be certain that she doesn't wanna be with me, I told her to go to her parents house. She told me that her parents don't have the space to facilitate her and, that she has no where else to go. I told her none the less I think we need time away from each other to decide what it is we want from each other so I am gonna tell her to go to her parents. She has also stated that I am her confort zone or in actuallity her safety net What I would like to know am I being cruel or cold-hearted by doing this or is this the right decision I am making by putting her out of the picture? Think you are making the right call, get her out. |
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you have to do what you think is right, However, I think that a reasonable thing to do since it doesnt sound like there is violence is to talk and come to an agreement on a short amount of time that she can stay to find another place or whatever and stipulate that there will be no relationship togetherings or conversation while she is still there. Hope it works for ya
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Can't get over the pain and moving on with one another's life if she is still in it.Jmo.Good luck
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No your not wrong
Sit down with her Set a "be out" date And go from there...... 
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Hello all. I have just broken up with a lady after roughly 4 yrs. Ok now to my situation she was living with me for a little over a year. She is still currently living with me and it brings along a lot of ackward scenarios, as well as her doing things that makes it seem as if we are still in a relationship. I spoke to her yesterday about moving out for a time so she can be certain that she doesn't wanna be with me, I told her to go to her parents house. She told me that her parents don't have the space to facilitate her and, that she has no where else to go. I told her none the less I think we need time away from each other to decide what it is we want from each other so I am gonna tell her to go to her parents. She has also stated that I am her confort zone or in actuallity her safety net What I would like to know am I being cruel or cold-hearted by doing this or is this the right decision I am making by putting her out of the picture? No you are not. She is playing you............. 
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Edited by
munchiebellic
on
Mon 08/31/09 04:40 PM
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You have to do what you need to. I have a friend that was dating a girl and they broke up. Because they are friends he wont get rid of her, but she refuses to let him hang out with us his life long friends because she thinks we are all having like this big orgy. Its sad that if cant live his life because she is always there, always making him do things for her and she lives with him instead me getting her own place she is almost 23 years old has her own car and refuses to drive. She makes other pick her up and take her to work. Plus because she refuses to leave, my friend ended up hitting her because she would not get out of his face yelling. And he has never been abusive ever in his life. And this sacred him. Dont let your situation become like this.
Get out of it asap. |
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you have to do what you think is right, However, I think that a reasonable thing to do since it doesnt sound like there is violence is to talk and come to an agreement on a short amount of time that she can stay to find another place or whatever and stipulate that there will be no relationship togetherings or conversation while she is still there. Hope it works for ya but then again, I try to be an amlicable person, and it seems to get me......ummmmmm....used. |
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Nope, you're absolutely doing the right thing. Don't let her use you anymore.
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Edited by
SeriouslyJustSayHi
on
Mon 08/31/09 04:48 PM
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Cruel would be "GET OUT NOW!" Give her a move out date..Say 30 days. And then stand firm. If you dont, nothing you ever say will mean anything!
It is an unfortunate situation that most couples go through when there is a break up. Someone has to move. Unfortunately for her you cant be her saftey net. We are grown people. We should always try to provide our own saftey net. Good Luck and stand strong |
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Edited by
legendtomyself
on
Mon 08/31/09 05:02 PM
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I am the only one on the lease as well as almost everything else we own.
Thank you all for the advise you have given me. It has lifted a great burden off of my shoulder, even though I feel it won't make me happy. |
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I am the only one on the lease as well as almost everything else we own the only reason I asked that is IN CASE push comes to shove and you have no choice. I agree to sit her down and set a deadline though...but if that doesn't work then you may have to rsort to something else |
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Good job man, you have the right idea, it sounds like she doesnt want you so you are doing the right thing by getting her out so you dont have to dwell on her being there and confusing you anymore...I had a girl like that once..It was really very hard to do what I am saying but it will pass eventually and you will thank yourself when she is gone and you are free to find whatever youre looking for...Good luck, keep your head up, it might be hard but must be done for your sake
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Pup tent, Coleman stove & lantern, cardtable, etc...
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