Has anyone here had any experience with starting a new relationship AFTER you were diagnosed with a chronic or long term illness? Was it harder to find someone? Did prospectve dates shy away from you once they learned of your condition?

My ex wife left when she found out I was sick.
Have not seen or heard from her in over year

I am so sorry to hear about you and your wife. Marriage should be for better or for worst.. I hope you are doing well.
Take care and be well..
M

Yeah my ex-husband didn't like it either. He didn't leave but he was always angry at me when I couldn't do the same things I could before. One of many reasons our marriage ended.

yup

wasn't a problem for me

its all in how you approach the world and what kind of attitude you carry

All you can do is keeping looking for someone to date.
I am sure you will find someone.

Thanks!

I wasn't asking so much for myself. I have given up on dating for other reasons.

Someone recently asked me about it after being newly diagnosed with fibro. I have had Lupus for 5 years and so she thought I would know. I told her my experience but I was wondering what others had to say about it.

Its so sad to say that is what happens . It not only happens in marriages,or in relationships.When my daughter had gotten sicker and sicker with her illness she lost all her friends but one .That one I'm still very close to now.She calls me her second mom.

That is y when she would never tell anyone at the beginning what she had.

my illness is just something I have. It isnt who I am. and I wont let myself be defined as a sick person.

I push so hard at ignoring it and acting normal that I forget that I AM sick sometimes and then I'm surprised (and pissed) when I run out of strength or when I cant do something

and papersmile is really good at not treating my like a sick person. but at the same time she is really supportive and gives me strength

u sound just like my daughter had
God bless u

No, and thank goodness. But, I feel bad for this person. This is very touchy a can be depressing to someone who has the chronic illness.

For me, I would accept him for his fate. It's not his fault and I will stay and would stick to this person thru thick/thin and would take care of him. But not everybody is like me so yes, it happens out there. It is just sad. I hope you find him here and make sure you are honest and straightforward to this person of your interest so there's no regret and blaming later. Good luck!

i guess you have to give them an 'A' for honesty anyway.

if i were sick, i'd hate to know that my partner was staying with me out of only a sense of loyalty and not because he were still deeply in love with me.

i imagine a lot of people just don't know how to cope or even what to say. i figure it is because people are uncomfortable with illness and scared of death (especially when it involves someone with whom they are in love).

is it better to back out and forget your love exists so you're not hurt?
or is it better to just love deeply and appreciate each moment that you do get?

EGGZACTLY! I have a degenerative bone & joint disease...chronic pain, no surgery, no cure. But I rarely talk or think about it much..it is what it is. I choose not to be identified by it...& hence, others don't either...

that's exactly how I am.

im a kidney patient
and i have noticed that some dont want to deal with the issue
but i have ran into many that look at it in a differnt way

Well I told her that it is an issue for some people that I have talked to and not for others. I think papersmile said it right. Some people just don't know how to react or how to deal with something like that. It's not that they are "bad", they just can't handle that kind of situation.
I told her it was completely possible to find someone, it just might take a little longer. All depends on who comes by and when. But, she and I both believe that everything happens when its supposed to.

My husband had 2 back surgeries and had alzheimers for 7 yrs.. I've had guys ask me if I ever cheated during that time.. Why would I do that? I love my husband and took care of him, he would have done the same for me....

I was diagnosed with leukemia 12 years ago, it was a contributing factor in the breakup of my marriage. As for dating, it's never been an issue. I didn't tell people at the first date or meeting but if things progressed to a 3rd date or so and looked promising, I would tell them. I didn't have any negative experiences. My boyfriend has known since right after our first date, I knew that he was someone with a lot of potential. Like Quiet and Paper, he has never treated me like a "sick" person but he's is ALWAYS there when/if I need it.