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Topic: Is it ok to be separated and date other people?
SamaraNJ's photo
Sat 08/22/09 01:41 PM




This depends on where and how deep your morales run. Dating is usually considered a part of cortship and the beginning of itamacy. In my book this is imoral in that you convenant with God is still valid untill the marriage is anulled. Secondly, your decision to date is your choice some some woman might appreicate this especially if your are not honest with them in that some might think there may be a chance that you might go back to your wife.


if love in a relationship is gone, a piece of paper means nothing, not even to your God.. It is a personal choice, as is everything. No one gets to pick morals for others, we all get to do that for ourselves.


actually I would think that piece of paper means legally you are still responsible for each other.. there may be no love... but legally, you are still involved, it's not over til the divorce is final...


only responsible for the children that are created during the union...
2 adults can walk away and not be responsible for each other, were all responsible for ourselves. The piece of paper is only important in legal matters, not morally..


what about the bills? the credit cards? the joint accounts? the home?

Ladylid2012's photo
Sat 08/22/09 01:47 PM





This depends on where and how deep your morales run. Dating is usually considered a part of cortship and the beginning of itamacy. In my book this is imoral in that you convenant with God is still valid untill the marriage is anulled. Secondly, your decision to date is your choice some some woman might appreicate this especially if your are not honest with them in that some might think there may be a chance that you might go back to your wife.


if love in a relationship is gone, a piece of paper means nothing, not even to your God.. It is a personal choice, as is everything. No one gets to pick morals for others, we all get to do that for ourselves.


actually I would think that piece of paper means legally you are still responsible for each other.. there may be no love... but legally, you are still involved, it's not over til the divorce is final...


only responsible for the children that are created during the union...
2 adults can walk away and not be responsible for each other, were all responsible for ourselves. The piece of paper is only important in legal matters, not morally..


what about the bills? the credit cards? the joint accounts? the home?



If 2 adults can not sit down and work such issues out (I understand some can't, was not the case with me) then that would be where the legal matters I spoke of would have to come in to play. But it would be a legal issue, not a moral one..jmo:heart:

auburngirl's photo
Sat 08/22/09 02:16 PM
laugh

SamaraNJ's photo
Sat 08/22/09 02:24 PM
I won't date a man who has a wife to support.. doesn't matter if there is love that 'little piece of paper'..... does mean something...

Ladylid2012's photo
Sat 08/22/09 02:30 PM

I won't date a man who has a wife to support.. doesn't matter if there is love that 'little piece of paper'..... does mean something...


If you see the beginning of this thread..I also posted I choose not to date anyone still in a marriage... I'm not attempting to justify my own actions.
I know many, many who have gone through divorce and some rather ugly. I just strive daily to not make judgment calls on others choices. My man died 4 years ago on the 26th.. I was not legally married to him, was my loss any less than one who had the marriage license..

RKISIT's photo
Sat 08/22/09 02:33 PM
i don't date men who are still married eitherindifferent

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 08/22/09 03:34 PM

the fact of the matter is i know my relationship is over with my wife and im lonely and I need someone there for companionship and to be a friend.


If you read your remark and look at the "I's" in this sentence maybe you will see that right now you can offer only a very one sided relationship where and innocent person is going to be meeting your needs and very few of her own.

Most of the people here are sorry that you are suffering the end of a marriage; one way or another most of us have been there. It sucks.
But most of us know it is a learning curve that will not kill you off if you take some time to yourself or being with your family or male friends or working on career when you are not finishing up the details of your ending marriage.

What sucks more is when you drag someone else into your pain when they have had nothing to do with it. It starts that relationship off on a sour note which is fair to no-one. Only sets you up for another failure which I doubt you want.

You need time to become your own person. Indulge your own interests. Make your space your own. Get into a routine of living on your own finances. Develope some memories that don't associate with your soon to be ex wife. Let your mutual friends decide where they are going to fall on future relationships. I get that you have moved which is tough but if you find a gym, recreation league, or a place to volunteer you will find men to hang out with. You might find that haveing guy friends that are not related to getting you laid they might actually help you discover something about yourself that will make you a better person.

lilgeosfamily's photo
Sat 08/22/09 04:11 PM





This depends on where and how deep your morales run. Dating is usually considered a part of cortship and the beginning of itamacy. In my book this is imoral in that you convenant with God is still valid untill the marriage is anulled. Secondly, your decision to date is your choice some some woman might appreicate this especially if your are not honest with them in that some might think there may be a chance that you might go back to your wife.


if love in a relationship is gone, a piece of paper means nothing, not even to your God.. It is a personal choice, as is everything. No one gets to pick morals for others, we all get to do that for ourselves.


actually I would think that piece of paper means legally you are still responsible for each other.. there may be no love... but legally, you are still involved, it's not over til the divorce is final...


only responsible for the children that are created during the union...
2 adults can walk away and not be responsible for each other, were all responsible for ourselves. The piece of paper is only important in legal matters, not morally..


what about the bills? the credit cards? the joint accounts? the home?


the good thing about that is we have no common bonds together after eleven years. Anyway thanks again for all your responses and i've made my decision that im not ready for a new relationship at this point and i'm just looking for new friends anyway. This was a good topic to choose because obviously most people don't like the fact that there is people out that would want to date others when their separated. Until i'm 200% sure my marriage is completely over I will not seek another relationship. Its only right that I get divorced first, so that i'm not carrying my baggage into the next relationship I have. George

SamaraNJ's photo
Sun 08/23/09 04:39 AM






This depends on where and how deep your morales run. Dating is usually considered a part of cortship and the beginning of itamacy. In my book this is imoral in that you convenant with God is still valid untill the marriage is anulled. Secondly, your decision to date is your choice some some woman might appreicate this especially if your are not honest with them in that some might think there may be a chance that you might go back to your wife.


if love in a relationship is gone, a piece of paper means nothing, not even to your God.. It is a personal choice, as is everything. No one gets to pick morals for others, we all get to do that for ourselves.


actually I would think that piece of paper means legally you are still responsible for each other.. there may be no love... but legally, you are still involved, it's not over til the divorce is final...


only responsible for the children that are created during the union...
2 adults can walk away and not be responsible for each other, were all responsible for ourselves. The piece of paper is only important in legal matters, not morally..


what about the bills? the credit cards? the joint accounts? the home?


the good thing about that is we have no common bonds together after eleven years. Anyway thanks again for all your responses and i've made my decision that im not ready for a new relationship at this point and i'm just looking for new friends anyway. This was a good topic to choose because obviously most people don't like the fact that there is people out that would want to date others when their separated. Until i'm 200% sure my marriage is completely over I will not seek another relationship. Its only right that I get divorced first, so that i'm not carrying my baggage into the next relationship I have. George

:thumbsup:

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