great 2 cents bro.....kudos

i've dated widows before and THROUGH MY EXPERIENCES.it was fine for the first couple of days and then it started with what "HE"use to do...not just random but pretty much everyday...and i told them to their faces,not in a rude way,but i said...i personally think you need to not date until you can talk about something besides your deceased husband....but like i said this was my experience,not everyone elses

RKISIT, I don't know what to tell you. We are all different. I think length of widowhood makes a difference. Otherwise, there will never come a day when that person isn't a part of the life of the widow/er. There will always be those significant dates, (birthdays, weddding anniversaries, date of death) that aren't great days although they do get much easier. It really just boils down to, can a person dating the widow/er deal with the occasional mentioning of a name, and not let it ruin them. Now, constant comparing, and saying things like, "HE would have never done THAT" is completely different.

thats pretty much what it was
...don't get me wrong i never would just bypass them cause they are widowed and i would date one who is,i'm just saying or rather typing, so far that has been my experience with widowed women

I think a lot of being accepted as a single person rather than "divorced" or "widowed" and the emotional baggage/fallout that goes with those labels is how we think of ourselves and how we present ourselves.

Some people think there is a status that is assigned to being long term single, divorced, or widowed. I think some people see claiming being a widow/er is somehow trying to be "superior". Like "I wouldn't be here if my spouse didn't die; it is not my fault." Well often being single or divorced isn't either. So those who are widowed need to be concious of how they treat single peers. People who have only been one or the other don't have a realistic perspective of how the other feels. All have their pluses and minuses.

A lot of it is the predjudice of society against ALL single people. Very few people like to admidt they are single because the first question isn't often snything but "why?" like it is somehow an affliction. God forbid someone is actually single and happy.

Well, blunt as it is, I am only here because I was widowed. I think that goes without saying. And it wasn't my fault. I don't think that is being "superior". That is just fact.

That's pretty much what I was going to say -- it's not a matter of placing "blame" anywhere, it's just a fact of life, unfortunate as it may be.

I think they are just Scared of US LOL

I don't think that's it. We don't bite. Nibble maybe....


I think it's more that people are fearful of what they don't/can't understand. Which makes sense...we didn't understand it either til it happened to us.

So does that mean we have to be lone the rest of our life because they can't understand us?

No. Not at all. It seems you have had some experiences that might make you feel this way. But try not to lump everyone together. Not every man is alike. There are some who are very compassionate and understanding.

I,m just tried of them treated me like i have something wrong with me
I don't think there any good ones left.LOL

No, not kidding, unfortunately

i think it's because you (in a general sense) loved your husband.

you didn't divorce on bad terms, he didn't cheat, he didn't abuse, there was nothing terrible about him and you were happy.

most of us here haven't had that through divorce, no one was taken from us, it was a choice we made. you didn't get that choice and probably would have still been happily married and not in a dating position. that loving part is not something most partners have to deal with when dating a divorcee.

How is everyone tonight