From my inbox today...probably won't change my daily elliptical routine but it DOES put it all in perspective! LOL!

Recently, in large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said:
THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?

A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern:

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up
outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity
crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they don't have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver and a coffee with my friends. With time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,Good gosh, look how smart I
am........

Smelling like fish might be okay...
what say you, krupa???

Whales are sleek and hydrodynamic.

Obese humans look like bloated pink hippopotamus.

Mermaids? Same thing to me as women who are looking for Prince Charming.

Now a little extra on a woman is nice. I like a woman with some back to her.

guys that say, closer to the bone, the sweeter the meat evidently like dragging their coin purse on the ground getting bruised off of her hips.

Whales, even the fast ones like killer whales (which really are dolphins) are graceful in motion. Humans? We try. Some of us get it right. Women that do get grace in motion right... !!!

Whale sex isn't exactly the same thing as ours. First of all if my Willy was that long and prehensile I would be a famous porn star. Then again I got hands and know how to use them to deadly effect! That is one thing that whales have going against them. I live by my hands. They are quite useful when squeezing tush in a squeeze index test analysis in an effort to determine squeezeability.

Not much messes with whales except hungry humans. Yeah there are sharks but then again after a certain size not much messes with you.

Whales also are quite social. They don't wage wars but Dolphins do strangely. Chimps and Dolphins have a lot in common and have a strong sense of possession and self awareness.

No shame in being a whale at all. Mermaids are not all that or are sea cows that lonely sailors hoped would give them comfort on those long LONELY days at sea. then again give a man an excuse and he will try to see if his square peg fits in any available and willing round hole.

I guess it could be said we are all an amalgamation of animal traits shared across the spectrum of both real and fantasy. Then again what am I talking about again?????

Andy does have a way of making it sound kinda sexy to be a whale...

Can we have mermaid bodies with whale social traits???