Do you have strong feelings for the ex? Do you compare other men to him?

I love my ex but only as a friend, I do not compare him to anyone.

god youre like my sister. she jumps from guy to guy. i usualy have negative things to say about this but i dont feel like being a d1ck to you.

you should take some time off and do some thinking before even thinking about another guy. it isnt fair to him if you dump a bunch of baggage on him because you still arent over your last.

just my interpretation.

what's she looking like

I don't think you understood my question. I asked if you had strong feelings, not love.

And, the other men you talk to... do you compare THEM to your ex?

EXCELLENT advice.

I plan on taking time off... He knows I am not ready to date any time soon. I need to get my crap in order first. Does not mean I can't meet him an become good friends.

I do not have strong feelings for my ex. I don't compare anyone to my ex.

ah... now I remember why I don't post anything bout my life on here, people judge to fast.

There is that word again. JUDGE. You post this on a public message board I'm guessing for input. You are only 21. Most 21 yr olds could use some advice from people older.

you asked.

sounds to me like you know what to say, but cant control what you want. just be careful and next time you want advice, make sure its advice you want and not just what you want to hear

Who's judging you?

been there, done that, it sucks huge. not fair to the new person.

When we don't agree with people on here, we're judging them.

Here's what I'd do if I was in your situation: I'd explain to him I'm not looking for a relationship right now, unless you've already told him that, in that case, kudos to you. Tell him you really like him, but to be fair to you and him, you want to take things very slowly and just be friends first, with the possibility of more later. Make sure you add the last, in case he's one of those guys who's terrified of "the friend zone."

And then, if you want to meet him, go for it. Have fun, get to know him, don't let it get sexual. I disagree with people who say you can't control your feelings. I think you can, if you really want to. You don't want to get hurt, and you don't want to hurt him. Congrats on finding someone you like, I hope it goes awesome for you.

ok judge is the wrong word I guess. Comparing me to someone they know.

He knows I am still getting over my ex, he knows all of that. I know I am NOT ready for anything right now, he knows that!!

I'm not upset with anyone's answer, I just hate when people compare me to someone they know. They know nothing about me, I am not like everyone else.

I was just saying I do like him a lot and I am putting my walls up. But still want to meet him, see if we do click in person like we did over the phone. To see if something could happen later when I am ready for a relationship.

feel you walls up??? but yeah I face the same thing all the time. they're always from somewhere else... starting to see a conspiracy

another man already?

I am happy you have met someone that is interested enough to talk to you at length. You deserve a good person in your life. My guess is you could be a really good person for someone who is worthy.

Enjoy the attention but keep notes and see how it pans out over time. Enjoy each step of a relationship; sort of take time to smell the roses.

Sounds like you are in school. If he is a good guy he should support you in that and not take so much of your time and attention that you loose focus there.

I don't buy the concept of taking time off and wallowing in a past failures. Yes live and learn from your experiences but whatever you feel for a past love is also just part of what you are and the ex doesn't deserve that any longer and should not be able to keep you from expressing it to a new person when you have the opportunity.

Experience can make you more alert to danger signs but if you live in a state of fear and paranoia that you are somehow doomed to creeps that is all you will attract.

Just keep in mind if someone tells you they have been burned in the past there may be a different version of the story and take time to see how they treat you closely.

good point. I know I am still getting over my ex a little bit. Not sure if I am ready for another relationship right now, I want to focus on school first. He knows I am in school and wants me to do well, he respects that.

That is another part of the reason I do want to meet him, get a better idea of who he really is. You can only know so much but have to meet to get an idea of who they are.

He is an amazing guy so far, a true sweetheart. But will never know the real him until we meet. Thank you for your words.

Take it from a old women, I have done that 3 times in 9 yrs.

Oops! did I go too fast! YEP!

Was i over my ex YEP! however the memories and expectations of a man was distorted! OOPS>

Was i ready! YES! BUT THEY WERE NOT!

it WAS NOT ME!

They were not ready to commit to a long term relationship and the problem of this is this!

I am still single because of it.

OUT of STATE is a long ways, to pack one bags and come to your world, they find out they miss there friends, family, home, life, job! On top of that they don't like how you run your home, they find everything wrong with you! They need this or that to make them comfortable at your home and even after you just spent over $500.00 they still are not happy!

with in a few months they start a fight so they can go home!

grant it.. If you are single and they are single and no kids involved.

YES! I believe it could work if you move to a brand new state leave everything and everyone behind and start a new life together..

O yes baby it will work! got condoms.. OOPS>>>> baby makes 3 and 4 and 5 and 9...............