That's understandable

I have had girls in the past try to get me to be "daddy" to their kids and I told them no. I dont mind being with a woman with kids but I tell them from the start that I am not going to be "daddy" Your kids are your responsibility. I was responsible enough with my sperm not to impregnate anyone, so they should be responsible for their own offspring

@sillyatheart

im sure down the road if/when i find a girl that i would want to procreate with i will feel the rapture and bring into existence ANOTHER screaming, pooping, feeding child... but not anytime soon. and i think it is unfair to those who you are dating that he/she be treated as a side-project because his/her 'world' is throwing up or throwing a tantrum.

isnt dating supposed to be fun?

You're better off not having children. I never had kids (and I don't think I ever will) and I am certain that I made a good decision. I feel like I have more personal freedom and less stress in my life than my friends and family my age that had children. I don't understand why any man would want to have kids.

A lot of women can't put dating on hold...
It is not that difficult. I stopped dating
and choose to be alone for 10 years to raise my boys.
I don't blame a guy for not wanting to have to deal
with someones kids... it takes an angel to be willing to do that.
So few angels out there.
Me, my boys and all and the men I didn't date are better off
for me taking the time to just focus on my sons...

I have had GFs with kids and I don't mind. I will pay bills where I live and stuff like that, but I am not going to discipline anyones kids or play daddy or babysit or anything like that. Its not my responsibility

Why would any man have babies with a woman nowdays with the way child support laws are set up? I have seen so many horror stories happen to my buddies. And its not even a good idea to adopt a womans kids because you will have to pay child support for them too.

good for you..
So many men think they should jump in and be daddy..
it's hard for everyone when that happens, specially the kids.
I was 14 when my mother remarried, there were 5 of us and my stepfather never got involved in what was going on,
He walked away and let her deal with her children.
They have been married for 33 years now. I don't think they would still be together if they would have been continually fighting over us...

If in time (many years), I was to grow close to my womans children that would be great and I am sure I could develop fatherly feelings towards them, but I just feel like its not my responsibility. I was responsible with myself enough not to make babies,and now I dont ever want kids,so I expect other people to be responsible for their own children.

I agree.
Just because you love a woman, does not necessarily mean you will automatically love the children... that is why a boyfriend should not step in as daddy. We women have an advantage... we knew our children when they
were sweet little babies.. the men we date don't have that.

I agree with a lot of what has been said and i am a mommy.Now i would date a man with kids.and unfortunatly it's my "motherin" or years of teaching that kind of doesnt stop me from getting involved with the kids.BUT i would never discipline another man's child without a long term relationship already in the works.

Meaning my last boyfriend we were together for 3 years and i raised my 4 plus his 2.Homeschooled all 6 and was the main disciplinarian of the household.I learned a lot from that because yeah it took me 3 years to figure out that HE just wanted a mother for his kids

anyways i guess what i'm saying is that now that i'm back in the dating game i'm not looking for a guy to become a dad to my kids they have a dad!and he is as involved as he can be from 5 states away.There's very little if no drama between us.I'm not looking for a man to pay for me and my kids.I'm looking for a companion for me someone to have fun with to grow with.If things become deeper then we need to look at it and discuss the future.

But yeah i dont blame a man for not wanting to date me if i have kids i respect that he's being honest enough to himself and myself not to waste our time.

hope this made sense i was being distratced by family guy at the same time lol

Children are NOT poop factories (well ok sometimes).

As far as accepting her children. I accept her... They are part of her. Kinda like a no brainer.

lol hate to tell ya adventure but even when they're older they're still poop factories....or a least my boys are!!!OOYYYY VEYYYY

I here a lot of guys say they won't be a dad to her children.

What's up with that?

In my local area there are lots of children from broken families.

I have a lot of kids that come to me for advice and stuff...

Most of them call me 'dad'.

It is a sad thing when a child that HAS a dad needs to get fatherin from someone else.

But if we don't do it... Where will that child learn HOW... So they can be a dad or mom when the time comes.

I will be cool with my womans kids, but I dont think its good for the kids to have a strange man just step in and suddenly be their "daddy". I feel like those feelings should develop naturally over time. I just dont want to be the "evil step dad".

Well, said. I think it is best for me to keep out of this one but I was cheering you on anyway.

So your saying, they should give up their "World" for you. LOL
If your dating her, then you know good and well she has kids and its your choice to not date her. How is it not fair to the person your dating? If you don't like the kid, don't date the woman cause Im pretty sure, if the child is her "world" she isn't throwing it in the trash just cause you say so....

Child Support is a good thing, parents should take care of their kids. Just because they divorce does not mean they are off the hook, they are still responsible for that child.

A rare find indeed...

I myself personally have no problem with commitment. I love children and I have not met one yet that did love me back. I will admit I have met some reluctant and defiant children but some are just not as accepting. I think alot of times the problem is that many single have a issue with they have to 2nd cause the children need moms attention. If a man truly wants to be with this woman he must accept the children and learn to love them the same. Now this does not mean be a father to them. The choice comes from what the mother wants for her children and how active the father is in these childrens lives. (I helped operate a day care for a short period of time and met some very needy children...It was a great experience to give dady love to other child that thier fathers was not active in thier lives) Anyway......it is important to be willing to accept the whole package and by all means be honest as to your intensions and do not lead her own. If children is not you tell her...and the same goes for the ladies...