Do you really think many aren't being honest when they say that? I don't try and pretend to be different than I am.

And just maybe JAG, we sometimes portray what we WANT to be.....which isn't always a bad thing, if we are inspiring to be better. As long as it's in the realm of do-able. I know when I'm dating someone new or have a great new supportive friend it does give me the "oomph" to reach for higher goals.

I think we can extrapolate on this concept -- how many profiles have I read that are just random strings of self-aggrandizing cliches? "I am sweet, I am honest, I have no baggage, I am the most unique person you will ever meet (immediately followed by six or seven sentences used in every other profile in the world)...."

The old (and usually misquoted) line often comes to mind: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Although I'm sure it's not just the ladies doing it....

But who are they really trying to convince....?

But, again. That goes back to the question...

If you were being somewhat dishonest in your portrayal of yourself...would you actually admit to it in a place like this??? Or anywhere, for that matter?

@ Heather

I think that might be pretty accurate. We ( well most of us anyway ) know what our faults are. A lot of people would try to hide them in a situation like we have here.

After all....everyone is looking for that " perfect someone ".

The general thought is " Who would want someone who has a bunch of faults?? ". So they soft shoe or completely hide them whenever they can.

Exactly. Men and women are both guilty as charged in this case.

Yeah, Im nothing like the stupid whore I portray myself as.

Oh you! Quit 'yer fishin'....

what whaaatt look at the ariel photo of my breasts!

I fully an unashamedly admit that I censor myself. I call it being polite.

I dunno........I think some people are just not very creative or maybe don't care to take the time (as pacific talked about) to make a good presentation here. I'm guilty of it. I changed my profile to be very bland. Sort of a reverse psychology thing. Hasn't helped any I might add. In the end, to be blunt, it's my physical features which have held me back the most. I see this as reality, and am working to change it. Wouldn't help to sugar coat that as it's pretty damned evident when you meet someone what you look like.
It's hard to judge if someone is being honest anyhow, until you actually meet in person.

Yes, but censoring your words is way different than being honest about who YOU are. Keeping an opinion to yourself rather than blasting someone in an open forum is being a gentleman, which in fact tells a lot about your character!

ah someone who gets it. figured you would.

Yes, you are right. I do see a huge difference between telling blatant lies about yourself and deliberately behaving a certain way. I'm not always sure which of those two (or where in between) people are talking about.



Thank you for saying so! ... but, what if I'm not polite with my closest friends? What if I expect my partner to agree that politeness is circumstance dependent? In some circumstances, I value conversations that emphasize directness and raw emotional expression over politeness.

If someone overestimated my politeness based on my forum posts, and got very attached to that impression, and then came to be a friend (in person), they might feel I had misled them.

Maybe I'm just misunderstanding this conversation, because most people who mention specifics mention fake photos or blatant lies.

I try to be pretty straightforward about who I am. I'd rather someone know what I'm actually like, rather than trying to make myself sound better and having them be disappointed if we actually met.

Doesn't everyone have faults, though? I don't expect anyone to be perfect.

Eh. Life's too short to pretend to be someone else.

Take it or leave, I am me. The only difference of me online versus in real life is that I'm a little less opinionated in person.

At least here someone can just scroll past or ignore me. In real life, there is no little red box in the corner to make me go away.

Well there are random thoughts all over the place. I am often the cause of such randomness, sorry~!

I do highly doubt even with your closest friends that you are rude in your directness. It's with our close friends that we should feel more open to say things that might not be stroking ego's but rather pointing out something which could be worked upon. I value that in my own friends. We play devil's advocate often. Helps us to see both sides of the coin.

My profile really doesn't say anything so there is no lie. I see no point in deceiving, like someone is not going to find out at some point! Sounds like it is way too much effort, for which I like to use in others areas of my life.

Eh, I have been being myself and it's not getting me any dates so now I'm going to post a picture of a beautiful big boobed blonde and be any one I want....