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| Topic: Trust and relaxing | |
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How do u just trust and relax when u are in a new relationship? I know that we all have been hurt in the past.but trust is a very big issue for me.Help
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Well Trust is something that is earned, you just have to go with your instints at this time.
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Oh man... it's a major issue with me, and has only gotten worse as I have had more relationships.
I have come to the conclusion (despite what I b**ch about here at Mingle  ), that I need to just make friends. If I date someone who's been a friend for a long while, then maybe it'll be easier to trust him, ya know?
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I think trust is a big issue for many people. Trust is tough to earn but it's easy to lose. Sometimes, once it's gone, you can't get it back.
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I agree with everyone. Trust is earned. I think every guy/gal has one freebee with trust. Once they use it, they have to work really hard to get that trust back.
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How do u just trust and relax when u are in a new relationship? I know that we all have been hurt in the past.but trust is a very big issue for me.Help I think it depends on how bad you were hurt and at what point you are in that healing process. My 2 cents. 
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the men and women of "today" give a lot of reasons for others not to trust them - they lie, cheat etc. We have trust issues because people for the most part can't be trusted.
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I had a major blow out with a guy over this. It took so much out of me that, I just figured that I had to ease up.
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I agree with everyone. Trust is earned. I think every guy/gal has one freebee with trust. Once they use it, they have to work really hard to get that trust back. send me $100 then, and I promise to send it back to you... 
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the men and women of "today" give a lot of reasons for others not to trust them - they lie, cheat etc. We have trust issues because people for the most part can't be trusted. I think some men and women throughout ALL era's have giving others reason to not trust.. Why is "today" different? People are people, some suck, some don't.. |
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take it slow and don't put so much pressure on yourself to jump right into a relationship. meet, be friendly, build a solid friendship foundation, and go from there. it's easier to trust a friend!
...take my advice, im not using it! |
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the men and women of "today" give a lot of reasons for others not to trust them - they lie, cheat etc. We have trust issues because people for the most part can't be trusted. I think some men and women throughout ALL era's have giving others reason to not trust.. Why is "today" different? People are people, some suck, some don't.. true...just seems moreso today cause of the "information age", but you got it right. |
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the men and women of "today" give a lot of reasons for others not to trust them - they lie, cheat etc. We have trust issues because people for the most part can't be trusted. I think some men and women throughout ALL era's have giving others reason to not trust.. Why is "today" different? People are people, some suck, some don't.. true...just seems moreso today cause of the "information age", but you got it right. that's b/c they get around more and a lot easier.. 
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i work very simply in that way. i don't trust her but i'll give her the benefit of the doubt. however, first time she shows me i can't trust her, see ya.
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Control your thoughts and emotions, don't let them control you. Hard to do I know, been there.
In the beginning you don't really know eachother so watch for the little things. A person will tell you volumes about themselves without even realising it, which in turn will tell you if there's a possibility your trust will be betrayed or not. Being guarded will keep you safe and is a good thing but, don't be closed off either. You have to take the chance sometime. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Give people just enough to prove themselves and as they earn it, give them more. Always remember, it's a two way street. You should also give what you expect. |
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Control your thoughts and emotions, don't let them control you. Hard to do I know, been there. In the beginning you don't really know eachother so watch for the little things. A person will tell you volumes about themselves without even realising it, which in turn will tell you if there's a possibility your trust will be betrayed or not. Being guarded will keep you safe and is a good thing but, don't be closed off either. You have to take the chance sometime. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Give people just enough to prove themselves and as they earn it, give them more. Always remember, it's a two way street. You should also give what you expect. 
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I agree with everyone. Trust is earned. I think every guy/gal has one freebee with trust. Once they use it, they have to work really hard to get that trust back. send me $100 then, and I promise to send it back to you... Okay. *Sends a Monopoly $100* You can have that.
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Edited by
snarkytwain
on
Wed 07/22/09 07:35 PM
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Then there's the times when lack of trust ruins everything.
My ex boyfriend told me over and over again that I was hiding something from him. He'd say "just tell me EVERYTHING. I want to KNOW you". Except I HAD told him everything. I was being TOTALLY honest with him. I was hiding NOTHING. But he kept insisting. Until one day he told me it was physically making him sick and he BEGGED me to tell him. I looked at him sadly, told him I had to leave him, and walked away. To this day he swears I cheated on him. There's only so many times you can tell someone the truth and not be believed. |
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When someone consistingly asks you to tell them everything what they are really saying is they will not tell you everything themselves.
I don't want to know everything. Some things are better off found out through action instead of words. |
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When someone consistingly asks you to tell them everything what they are really saying is they will not tell you everything themselves. I don't want to know everything. Some things are better off found out through action instead of words. That's what my friends told me, too. It makes me sad, because I trusted him. I have learned, though, not to trust drug addicts. I should have known that before... |
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