time for another list folks!


#1. Check your BlackBerry in bed.
To a woman, that’s like having a threesome with your boss.

#2. Ask for a kiss.
Her eyes will say yes or no, and nothing kills the mood like asking for a translation.

#3. Wear low-rise jeans.
So what if David Beckham flashes his hash in every other men’s magazine? It’s important to have some sack, not show it.

#4. Mess with another man’s automobile.
I don’t care if he stole your wife, your job, and your dog. It’s blasphemy.

#5. Send an angry e-mail.
Have the huevos to pick up the phone or, better yet, meet face-to-face. Fireworks aren’t just for Independence Day.

#6. Dismiss a woman who shows any interest in watching baseball with you.
She wants you bad.

#7. Snoop through her e-mail, closets, or medicine chest.
There’s probably nothing there you need to worry about. But rest assured, you’ll find something you don’t want to see.

#8. Keep a home-run ball hit by the opposing team.
Or one hit by any player on the juice. I don’t care if it’s worth millions. Throw it back or you’re a traitor.

#9. Forget an undershirt.
Go ahead, let ‘em see you sweat. Just don’t let ‘em see sweat creeping out from your underarms like dark, foreboding tunnels to your moistened soul.

#10. Four words: inner-thigh adductor machine.
It might be a tough-to-reach muscle group, but there’s never been a better way to strain your self-esteem.

#11. Talk politics or religion with new friends.
And if you consider sports one of the two, leave that off the table as well.

#12. Talk salary.
The more you make, the easier it is to cheapen your image.

#13. Have that extra drink.
You know, the one that takes you from hilarious to hyena. Always respect your tipping point.

#14. DIY plumbing.
You think it looks easy. Then your house falls down. Water, like Hulk Hogan’s wife, is not to be flirted with.

#15. Leer.
Sure, her buttons are quivering to rein in her pendulous bosoms. Sure, it looks “cold in here.” And sure, each giggle causes her chest to sway suggestively. But “pervert” isn’t a label you can just peel off.

#16. Argue with a cop.
You were caught. Own up. Accept defeat. The only thing you win in that battle is a humid cell and a roommate nicknamed Stabby.

#17. Hang anything - your cellphone, your keys - on your belt.
You’ll never get laid again. True story.

#18. Pluck your brows.
It’s okay to groom. It’s okay to like a woman who grooms. It’s not okay to groom like a woman.

#19. Go tanning.
Forget skin cancer. Being trapped between heating elements is for cheese.

http://www.listropolis.com/category/health/manliness/

Only time I even look at my phone in bed is to either check to make sure the alarm is turned on, or to see who is calling, only certian people get the pleasure of me answering my phone past 10pm.


I don't ask, I take, but am very aware in case its a bad moment.


I wear baggy pants, but a belt was made for a reason, and yes, I do know that reason.


Unless they ask you to come over to help work on thier car.


Send an angry email? Only if a five fingered piece of my mind is an attachment. :P


If I met a woman who would want to go to a River Cats game with me, I would propose to her right then and there.


Don't snoop through my belongings, I will never snoop through yours, so please, give me common respect.


I never had the chance, but I can't see myself doing that.


My friends ask me why I have so many plain white under shirts, I ask why they don't have any.


I am not the smartest person here, what is this?


Eh, I learned to avoid politics all together, and religion only if it is brought up, even then I try to end it soon after it starts.


Now I don't make much money, but the only time I even mention how much I get paid is when I am with someone who is making a complete jerk of themselves bragging on how much they get paid. (yes I do get paid a bit more than most my age with no college, its why I got into construction)


But but but.... <,< guilty as charged.


Refer to #10- Btw I am a plumber, am I just going blonde?


Can't help it, there is nothing wrong with the natural beauty god gave a woman, its the SECOND look that's a sin.


Chris Rock says it best, but its got foul language. If you want to find it, do your own youtube research.


Guilty as charged, Cellphone, Keys, and Leatherman go there. It may look different, but meh....


That just looks more painful then if I got jumped by a street gang.


I got enough tan on me as is, cameraphones make me look pale.

OMG!!!!
I Am Still Laughing over Here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Heh!! The Tears are coming and second now!

1. i don't own a blackberry.
2. no, i would not ask. that's wussy.
3. low-rise jeans? do they even make those for men? not cool
4. i would never damage someone's vehicle. i'm pretty sure that's the 11th commandment.
5. my friend sent me an angry IM once. wuss.
6. baseball is boring
7. i don't snoop. rude and lame
8. see #6
9. it's 100+ degrees outside. one shirt is too many.
10. is that the thing that looks like a torture device?
11. i talk politics and religion with everyone just to start fights.
12. i don't give a rat's *** what anyone makes.
13. there's no such thing as an "extra" drink.
14. why? i'd rather fix it myself than pay some guy to show me his buttcrack
15. no leering...but rubbernecking is ok
16. "argue" is the wrong word, but i disagree with them all the time and almost never get tickets. tactful debate.
17. only the scalps of my enemies.
18. i love my two big caterpillars
19. driving with the top off, mowing the lawn, hanging out IN the pool, not by it...that's how i end up tan.

Real Men don't acknowledge lists written by women.



<<<---- Does not believe this applies to married men, for whom fulfilling Shopping Lists = SEX.

Lucky you that gets to be a man and wear no shirt in public.

i agree...but you can wear a bathing suit top in public

You lost me at Black Berry....I LOVE mine!

The day I follow lists will be the day I'm on the death list.

Sure I can. After tons of plastic surgery!

Id be insulted as a woman to get a list like that. Its like here ya go a**h***

hey leave me out of this

I had to laugh at #1.....

Last night had an electrical storm that knocked out power for most of the night.

With my beloved Black Berry...I could listen to tunes..surf for porn...check e-mails...do my Mingle and Facebook things too.

Like it or not...that puppy will be right there on my night stand....

lol i'd be lost without my phone! I just moved and my internet wasn't up, gotta love a phone with the net!

Oh, and I always check my email right after I plug the phone in once I crawl into bed... good thing this list is for men!

yeah, that's a good point. you can wear a bikini top. i can't without being ridiculed so i just have to either wear a shirt or walk around with my nipples exposed to everyone. how humiliating.


and women are aloud to be topless in a lot of places. you just have to check local laws.