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| Topic: I don't think I'm looking for anyone | |
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In the past few weeks, somehow I feel a bit different than before. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with time or priorities..I'm not even sure if it's only the past few weeks. I'm becoming (or already was) a passive person, regarding dating, but it's not because I don't want to be with anyone, but I guess I just got used to it over the months. Ever since i signed up to mingle (December last year) I realized that somehow this site is not very popular or known on the East Coast, keeping an eye on the localized sub forums (NY, NJ,MA) it's not so active.
Or maybe I'm the one who is not popular on the East Coast, lol! One or the other. So anyway, last week and the week before, there were times I didn't even log on to this place, and nowhere else either, I used to glance over other dating sites also. I logged on to check the emails and the weather and news, that's it. I went to a 4th of July party last week, talked to women and last week too I had discussions , but that's all they were. Not once in my mind had any thought about dating or going out. Even if I go out and I end up talking some women, I just talk, wherever the discussion is going, but that's it. Am I settling with my situation or just accepted my fate of being single, I don't know. Somehow just the idea of having a woman around me is like the farthest and most unlikely situation I can think of, almost kinda frightens me. So, anybody else ever felt this way or know what is going on? |
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I think we have to be comfortable with ourselves before we can decide if we're destined to be alone or not.. Once we do that I think that we realize we're ok if we don't meet "the one" and know we won't settle for "anyone"...
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It seems when you don't look for it(i mean her)she shows up in your life.jmo
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Edited by
Atlantis75
on
Sun 07/12/09 04:12 PM
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I think we have to be comfortable with ourselves before we can decide if we're destined to be alone or not.. Once we do that I think that we realize we're ok if we don't meet "the one" and know we won't settle for "anyone"... I talked to some women, who were first sounded kinda concerned and suspicious, but once they realized that I wasn't a "threat", like someone who wants to date no matter what..they get quite comfortable with me , just talking. Maybe they figured that I'm not out to pursue them as a date or a one night stand? |
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I think we have to be comfortable with ourselves before we can decide if we're destined to be alone or not.. Once we do that I think that we realize we're ok if we don't meet "the one" and know we won't settle for "anyone"... I talked to some women, who were first sounded kinda concerned and suspicious, but once they realized that I wasn't a "threat", like someone who wants to date no matter what..they get quite comfortable with me , just talking. Maybe they figured that I'm not out to pursue them as a date or a one night stand? I think you have a point... some women are used to being told many stories and lines by some men to get what they want.. Until they know you they have no way to know you're not like that... |
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don't get to comfortable ,,, you mite miss it ,, be aware be very aware ..
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In the past few weeks, somehow I feel a bit different than before. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with time or priorities..I'm not even sure if it's only the past few weeks. I'm becoming (or already was) a passive person, regarding dating, but it's not because I don't want to be with anyone, but I guess I just got used to it over the months. Ever since i signed up to mingle (December last year) I realized that somehow this site is not very popular or known on the East Coast, keeping an eye on the localized sub forums (NY, NJ,MA) it's not so active. Or maybe I'm the one who is not popular on the East Coast, lol! One or the other. So anyway, last week and the week before, there were times I didn't even log on to this place, and nowhere else either, I used to glance over other dating sites also. I logged on to check the emails and the weather and news, that's it. I went to a 4th of July party last week, talked to women and last week too I had discussions , but that's all they were. Not once in my mind had any thought about dating or going out. Even if I go out and I end up talking some women, I just talk, wherever the discussion is going, but that's it. Am I settling with my situation or just accepted my fate of being single, I don't know. Somehow just the idea of having a woman around me is like the farthest and most unlikely situation I can think of, almost kinda frightens me. So, anybody else ever felt this way or know what is going on? I think that's a great way to be 
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don't get to comfortable ,,, you mite miss it ,, be aware be very aware .. Ok, miss "erotic pleasure specialist" !  My top priorities are almost changing by the day, i'm selling one of my cars, while I got 3 more weeks before I'll be leaving to Europe for a trip and meanwhile i'm gonna have a different job when I come back, I'm not even sure if I'm gonna stay too long before I leave again, it all depends on whether or not i'm gonna get this job or not, I have been talking to some people in Europe too, to see if they have any offers. |
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I agree with cuddle, when you aren't looking is when someone will appear in your life. If/when that happens perhaps you will be re-awakened to the possibilities. Meanwhile I do not see anything wrong with being in a place where being with yourself and enjoying it could be a bad thing. In fact might be a very good thing. We all need some me time now and then, maybe this is yours?
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I agree with cuddle, when you aren't looking is when someone will appear in your life. If/when that happens perhaps you will be re-awakened to the possibilities. Meanwhile I do not see anything wrong with being in a place where being with yourself and enjoying it could be a bad thing. In fact might be a very good thing. We all need some me time now and then, maybe this is yours? I think, it's the idea in our mind has to fade away, which remains from the last relationship and it takes a while. It's the feeling of being with someone changes our way of life and from a sudden disconnect such as a break up or a divorce makes us continue to crave to be with someone for a while, trying to fill in that empty spot. We can either quickly find someone to fill in that empty space (lucky or not) or just wait until it is not so concerning anymore. Later on, if someone comes a long who'd like to be with us, we can offer that spot or deny, then it's not driven by desperation but having a choice. |
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Very well said Atlantis, choices/decisions made from loneliness or desperation, have in my experience, always failed. One must be happy and emotionally healthy first, we have to have some real things to offer.
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I think we have to be comfortable with ourselves before we can decide if we're destined to be alone or not.. Once we do that I think that we realize we're ok if we don't meet "the one" and know we won't settle for "anyone"... I so agree. I was so afraid to be alone. Just the process of dating people made me realize what I wanted and how I expected to be treated. I took the good from all of the failed dates and relationships only to realize...Who I am and What I need. |
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It seems when you don't look for it(i mean her)she shows up in your life.jmo Thai is sooo true!!!! |
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I agree, not much activity from Mass. on here but i think part of the reason is some people go for the sites that are heavily advertised, i've noticed more locals on other sites......just an observation.
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sigh, what? Ive met one person innnn 5 months?
I know what you mean totally. Everyone else looks like they just got out of prison or the movie "deliverance" or lives far away. |
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sigh, what? Ive met one person innnn 5 months? I know what you mean totally. Everyone else looks like they just got out of prison or the movie "deliverance" or lives far away.
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This is one of the stages of being single, I think anyone who has been single for an extended amount of time can relate.
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So, anybody else ever felt this way or know what is going on? Well, I can attest, from personal experience, that the Indiana and Illinois forums are pretty much ghost towns. So it's not just the east coast. As far as the other stuff goes, I have to admit I find myself less and less interested in looking for anyone. I just can't seem to run across anyone who interests me at all -- anybody who sparks so much as a "huh?" is either 897,000 miles away or otherwise ineligible. But it's not that bad. If I start to feel lonely, I just force myself to remember what it was like being married. The grass is always dead on that side of the fence. |
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So, anybody else ever felt this way or know what is going on? Well, I can attest, from personal experience, that the Indiana and Illinois forums are pretty much ghost towns. So it's not just the east coast. As far as the other stuff goes, I have to admit I find myself less and less interested in looking for anyone. I just can't seem to run across anyone who interests me at all -- anybody who sparks so much as a "huh?" is either 897,000 miles away or otherwise ineligible. But it's not that bad. If I start to feel lonely, I just force myself to remember what it was like being married. The grass is always dead on that side of the fence. Ouch.. 
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In the past few weeks, somehow I feel a bit different than before. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with time or priorities..I'm not even sure if it's only the past few weeks. I'm becoming (or already was) a passive person, regarding dating, but it's not because I don't want to be with anyone, but I guess I just got used to it over the months. Ever since i signed up to mingle (December last year) I realized that somehow this site is not very popular or known on the East Coast, keeping an eye on the localized sub forums (NY, NJ,MA) it's not so active. Or maybe I'm the one who is not popular on the East Coast, lol! One or the other. So anyway, last week and the week before, there were times I didn't even log on to this place, and nowhere else either, I used to glance over other dating sites also. I logged on to check the emails and the weather and news, that's it. I went to a 4th of July party last week, talked to women and last week too I had discussions , but that's all they were. Not once in my mind had any thought about dating or going out. Even if I go out and I end up talking some women, I just talk, wherever the discussion is going, but that's it. Am I settling with my situation or just accepted my fate of being single, I don't know. Somehow just the idea of having a woman around me is like the farthest and most unlikely situation I can think of, almost kinda frightens me. So, anybody else ever felt this way or know what is going on? I have felt that way for the last 1 1/2 yrs. Since my last relationship ended I haven't had any real interest in dating, or even meeting anyone. I have a few close friends I talk to frequently and that seems to be enough for me. I am so busy with other things in my life and have become comfortable with being single. |
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