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Topic: Online dating kills my self-esteem
Intrepid00's photo
Sat 06/20/09 06:25 AM
You know I've joined several online dating sites over the last several years and have sent out tons of messages to women and very, very rarely do I get a response. I am paralyzed from the waist down and it I don't hide it anymore but I did for a long time, never mentioned it and I still got very few responses. Since throughout my adult life I've often been considered a cute, goodlooking guy, online sites like this make me question whether my pics don't do me justice, or if I'm just not goodlooking. Prior to my car accident I did very well with women; now I couldn't get laid in a morgue lol but I do wonder why so few women respond

no photo
Sat 06/20/09 06:26 AM
Hmmm...it killed my sex drive...oh wait! That was inline skating! NVM

Tootsweet13's photo
Sat 06/20/09 06:42 AM

You know I've joined several online dating sites over the last several years and have sent out tons of messages to women and very, very rarely do I get a response. I am paralyzed from the waist down and it I don't hide it anymore but I did for a long time, never mentioned it and I still got very few responses. Since throughout my adult life I've often been considered a cute, goodlooking guy, online sites like this make me question whether my pics don't do me justice, or if I'm just not goodlooking. Prior to my car accident I did very well with women; now I couldn't get laid in a morgue lol but I do wonder why so few women respond


Sweetie, you ARE a good-looking guy. And you sound like you have been through a lot and become a much stronger person. But, after just having taken a look at your profile, you come across as kind of negative. I would maybe rethink your greeting and make it be a lot more upbeat and fun, which is the way you are in real life, right? flowerforyou I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings, but you did ask.

Ted14621's photo
Sat 06/20/09 06:55 AM
Talk about losing self esteem...
...my blow up doll ran off with a pool toy!grumble

no photo
Sat 06/20/09 06:56 AM
Intrepid...you & I have discussed this before...& it really IS all about the attitude. So, instead if starting another thread with negative undertones...why not ask for some help in being positive? I'll give you one of my mantra's & a lesson I learned a long time ago:

Act "as if"...& it shall become...flowerforyou

Eddiemma's photo
Sat 06/20/09 07:06 AM

Intrepid...you & I have discussed this before...& it really IS all about the attitude. So, instead if starting another thread with negative undertones...why not ask for some help in being positive? I'll give you one of my mantra's & a lesson I learned a long time ago:

Act "as if"...& it shall become...flowerforyou



Act "as if"...& it shall become... -I like that Que-Teewinking

no photo
Sat 06/20/09 07:10 AM
You might not get as many responses since you list that you have a preference for women abroad. Perhaps, just be concerned with meeting and chatting regardless of location and the rest will follow.:smile:

Lilypetal's photo
Sat 06/20/09 07:12 AM
Edited by Lilypetal on Sat 06/20/09 07:14 AM
I don't think your looks have much to do with not being successful. Perhaps it is because your profile intimates that American women are insincere. You just haven't had luck finding a sight with forgein women on them.

laugh laugh PKD, I type too slow!

Intrepid00's photo
Sat 06/20/09 08:00 AM
Edited by Intrepid00 on Sat 06/20/09 08:02 AM
frustrated yeah, I didn't say I only was looking to meet foriegn women, I'm just openminded to meeting women from all over the world as opposed to the closeminded; "you must live within 50miles to message this person". I've dated two foriegn girls; one from Germany and one from Egypt and they really were more sincere in my experience than a lot of American women but I really don't care if your from New York or Moscow. Oh, and i'm just a negative person...just who I am. I'm a headcase haha!frustrated

Tootsweet13's photo
Sat 06/20/09 08:03 AM
Well, now you know. Whether the intent was there or not, it's the way your profile comes across. Instead of feeling frustrated and misunderstood, maybe you should rephrase so that your true intent is conveyed.

Lilypetal's photo
Sat 06/20/09 08:12 AM

frustrated yeah, I didn't say I only was looking to meet foriegn women, I'm just openminded to meeting women from all over the world as opposed to the closeminded; "you must live within 50miles to message this person". I've dated two foriegn girls; one from Germany and one from Egypt and they really were more sincere in my experience than a lot of American women but I really don't care if your from New York or Moscow. Oh, and i'm just a negative person...just who I am. I'm a headcase haha!frustrated


If you really don't care where they are from, then take that part out of your profile. Regardless if it is true or not, an American woman will not be very interested in contacting you when you have insulted her before she talks to you.

PATSFAN's photo
Sat 06/20/09 08:27 AM
Online dating sites keep most people from dating!

FearandLoathing's photo
Sat 06/20/09 08:30 AM

You know I've joined several online dating sites over the last several years and have sent out tons of messages to women and very, very rarely do I get a response. I am paralyzed from the waist down and it I don't hide it anymore but I did for a long time, never mentioned it and I still got very few responses. Since throughout my adult life I've often been considered a cute, goodlooking guy, online sites like this make me question whether my pics don't do me justice, or if I'm just not goodlooking. Prior to my car accident I did very well with women; now I couldn't get laid in a morgue lol but I do wonder why so few women respond


Chin up mate! Life isn't getting any easier, and dating isn't going to be getting easier either! Same complications, new luxories, different people. Sounds to me like your accident killed your confidence, which is alright, hell of an accident it sounds like. Life is perspective and view, don't cling to 'I can't get a date' or something like that, get out and enjoy what you have...you should know as well as anyone that life doesn't last forever...

RealityMan's photo
Sat 06/20/09 09:04 AM
Edited by RealityMan on Sat 06/20/09 09:04 AM
You should definitely think positive.
Remember, the end of the world is coming on Dec 21 2012 anyway so we only got a few years left....so party like it's 2011.

FearandLoathing's photo
Sat 06/20/09 09:11 AM

You should definitely think positive.
Remember, the end of the world is coming on Dec 21 2012 anyway so we only got a few years left....so party like it's 2011.


Actually the end of the world is probably not coming, at all. I know, it burst my bubble too.

RealityMan's photo
Sat 06/20/09 09:16 AM


You should definitely think positive.
Remember, the end of the world is coming on Dec 21 2012 anyway so we only got a few years left....so party like it's 2011.


Actually the end of the world is probably not coming, at all. I know, it burst my bubble too.

yea I was hoping too.

no photo
Sat 06/20/09 11:32 AM
This online stuff is a first for me. Not sure if I'm into it yet or not. Talking to some nice people right now though!

TBRich's photo
Sat 06/20/09 11:34 AM
There is a bias against people in wheelchairs about their ability to be physically intimate. You should try some suggestive flirting?

vortecpowered's photo
Sat 06/20/09 01:50 PM

Hmmm...it killed my sex drive...oh wait! That was inline skating! NVM


you must have been doing it wrong. an ex wanted to try it naked at night...that did not kill sex drive. :wink:

Tootsweet13's photo
Sat 06/20/09 01:53 PM

There is a bias against people in wheelchairs about their ability to be physically intimate. You should try some suggestive flirting?


You have a point. I'm not sure it is a bias, so much as being uninformed. Sex is pretty important to most of us, and that isn't the type of thing a person is comfortable bringing up with someone we aren't sure is able to partake in it.

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