ARNDALE, OK – Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.

After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play–Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office said yesterday.

On May 1, a neighbor witnessed a naked Ms. Dent in her driveway “struggling to direct a jackhammer toward her mid-section.” The alarmed neighbor notified police after hearing ear-splitting moans of distress that carried over the raucous jackhammer. Authorities arrived at the scene to an unresponsive Ms. Dent, who was then transported to West Grenier Hospital where she was pronounced dead shortly thereafter.

The recently divorced Ms. Dent had been questioned by authorities three times over the past month after neighbors complained of her running a prostitution ring from her home. Records also show that Ms. Dent supplemented her income as the sole proprietor of a sex toy distributor.

Ms. Dent’s alleged extracurricular activities appear to be unrelated to her death. A neighbor who declined to be identified said, “She was a ***** lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

brings a whole new meaning to hammer the poonanny

looks like people are finally realizing that the cruise trip is not a joke



Good Morning

i know i know,, sick twisted and preverted. At least i think about it first.

Morning ((Pam)))

my my my hammer time,,, hammer hits me so hard makes me say oh my lord,,,,,lol

You are just so twisted

(((((Suz)))))) I have no idea why I thought the polls closed in September.
Just me being confused once again. I am sorry about that.

((((Steve))))) Are you being strange and twisted this am with thoughts..............

nope,, im innocent on this one,, you cant make things up like that,,, who the hell would be that twisted?

Apparently Ms Dent was that twisted

yeah well that hammer had her a lil more than twisted.

no one alive

That's beyond twisted, that's just insane. Obviously something seriously wrong with her,

Oh wow could you imagine years down the road when some child has to do his/her family history and they say What ever happened to Aunt Shirley? Why does no one ever talk about her anymore?


I am glad that I am not the parent who has to answer those questions.

thats one of them things you lock up and throw away the key on. or unplug the hammer.

oh yea I remember her she was killed pleasureing herself with a jack hammer


gives a whole new spin on JACK hammer

i dont believe thats a spin,, more an in and out kinda deal. talk about hit and run

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Im tired