A lot of you are a lot more experienced and in some cases older than me. Is it possible to really like someone...someone you actually like as a person and wish you were exclusive with them, but date or have sex with others since they don't want to date you at the moment or anytime soon?

The short story is, I met a girl on facebook. We talked to each other for at least a month every day on the phone before we met, and by that point, I'd already disclosed a lot of personal information because she was non-judgmental. We dated for about a month, and we disclosed more information, but at the same time, weren't completely serious all the time and had a lot of fun together too.

While she isn't perfect, and has obvious dating flaws (not a touchy feely person, not even liking to cuddle with previous boyfriends)...like I said, she's non-judgmental. I was able to tell her a lot of things that would turn most women off...without getting completely into my personal life...I don't drive for personal reasons, and had severe depression issues in the past...and she didn't and doesn't care about any of it. On top of that, she's very low-maintenance...a t shirt and jeans type of woman despite being pretty (in my eyes)...doesn't demand attention like a lot of women...likes mediocre restaurants...doesn't even notice when guys check her out. She's a very secure and mature person.

For these reasons, it's hard to "forget about her at the moment, just be friends and date someone else." I could find someone else that's more sexual than her, but I doubt they'd even let me in the door if they found out I didn't drive or was on medication for depression and still had occasional bad days, and I highly doubt it's possible to find any woman her age that genuinely doesn't respond to male attention and wears ts and jeans.

But at the same time, I'm realistic and realize that even if she comes around and wants to date, it will be on her watch not mine, and won't be anytime soon. And I'm curious I guess to test the waters if someone comes along that could compete with her and give her a run for her money personality wise. T n A don't do it much for me anymore, I'd much rather have a not-as-good looking girl with compatibility, and those are hard to find.

So is it possible for me to put her to the side emotionally and either date or have sex with other women, knowing I really want to be with her?

Compete for your attention? That's simply juvenile. When a man pulls that crap on me, I let him GO!! Ain't no man worth fighting over or dying for.

Yes it is possible...in any other state except Illinois.

There's such a thing as dating. Women do it too. What am I supposed to do, sit in my home and pine over her while it could be months for her to even want to date again?

And by compete, I mean get me to take my mind off her and think "Well this woman is good, too."

The way I see it is you are not dating this gal with whom you are enamored. So date. Have you sex!!! Carefully, of course. Go for it if it's that paramount in your life.

But, if you get another gal attached to you, thinking she is special to you, and this first gal decides she wants to date you and you go for it, think of how it will have an effect on the second gal.

I've thought about the same thing...I really don't want a second girl to get attached, and I don't want to get attached to a second girl myself. I have no problem "liking" another girl, but to end up liking the girl as much as I like her would be a problem to me because I don't want an inner love triangle of sorts.

Basically, I guess I'm looking for a woman that wants to date but isn't looking for her perfect man. A woman that wants more than a one night stand but doesn't want forever.