THIS IS FROM A BOOK I AM WORKING ON. RIGHT NOW MY IDEAS ARE JUST FLOWING SO THIS IS PRETTY MUCH A DRAFT OF ONE OF THE AREAS I PLAN TO DISCUSS. ANY SUGGESTIONS ARE APPRECIATED. THANKS...


Being 12 years old is a very hard thing especially when you wake up every morning wanting to die. I never really knew what wanting death meant until I was 12, I realized I was a lesbian and felt there was no purpose in me being alive. I didn't want to disappoint my family, especially my hero, My father. My dad had the biggest place in my heart and the last thing I wanted to do was let him down. Every morning of 8th grade I woke up crying and depressed. It wasn't like me. I went from being an A and B average student to D and F's. I couldn't concentrate. I hated myself. I hated myself for being what I was and not being able to do a single thing about it. I thought about people talking and how it would hurt my dad. As a child growing up all you want to do is make your parents proud, and when you let them down you feel so guilty. I never meant to let my father down, but I did and I'm sorry for that.
Sometimes I wonder if parents forget what it's like being a teen or trying to live up to their parents expectations, the confusions, the peer pressure, being made fun of, and the downfalls. We all have our imperfections but we cannot sit there and judge on what we do not know or don't understand. Homosexuality isn't a disease or a flaw. It's a part of who you are and what defines you, however this alone doesn't define an individual. The group with the highest suicide rate are gays, because they can't live with themselves, the harassment, or being a disappointment. Hateful remarks in general are definitely unecessary, but when we use hateful remarks towards something that cannot be change is so much more damaging..
I'm not preaching about peace and love, but I do believe that I live my life and you live yours. As long as I am happy, honest, and don't hurt anyone I believe I am entitled to live my life the fullest extent. I don't believe we are here to procreate and I believe that the bible was written by man to keep people in control.

my daughter is 26yrs old
and has been in a gay relationship for almost a yr
she has 3 kids from a previous marriage(she still legally married to her hubby)
so when she said that she met someone i kindve knew i had that feeling. but she said something that just because im in a gay relationship doesnt mean im gay. well then she said something else and said she was.. my mom thinks she exploring. that i belive as well. but its her choice if she wants to be gay.

i have a few male cousins that are gay
i even have a friend that i have known for 28yrs thats gay and i didnt know that she was untill 24yrs ago. i knew her ex lover before i knew her..

Ty for sharing a part of your story.

I'm sure your book, once finished, will help some educators/parents/teens/children/peers etc. to respond to what
simply "is," with understanding, compassion, humanity.

You are brave to write this book. Good luck!

I have a 22 yr old gay daughter. Gonna have her read this. We never had a problem with her coming out. Her dad did but he's so over it now. She's in a great love filled relationship for 3yrs now. We really do forget what being a teenager is all about. Whenever one of my four daughters were teens. I would always think "what were you feeling at this age". It made our relationships a lot more tolerable those years

All my to you!!

Tammy

Young, yet so wise….

I too believe we as adults have forgotten what it’s like to be 12
Again,, peer pressure,,, family and friends,,, the list goes on

I believe if we as a Society,, a whole sit back and listen with our
Eyes closed to what our Youth has to say,, we then might learn
Once again to provide Unconditional love,,,,

We are all human,, we learn, we fall, we explore,, we are
Who we are,, simple really,,, yet frustrating at times

I wish you much success in life,, love and family
Be you,, the best you, you choose to be,, and all will
Be as it should

Hugs to you
Mom

I want to thank you all who have commented on this post. Thank you. For those who can relate I'm sure we see why a book like this is so important. I will include situation from my life :] I hope to finish it soon and that it gets out there, I just want to open some eyes :]