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Step forward
Out of the shadows, That cigarette Dangling from your Parched lips. I want to run you Over with my car Because you lied To me again. Who's on your mind Dear lover? For when is it Truly right To play me like A pawn in A chess game, Not letting me move Until the other Player has already won? I cannot run to him, But I dare not run to you. Either way I'll be the one Who's used. I will not keep promises, Nor can I be true. Where can I go? Who will accept this Wretched creature, This wh*re? Can you? If only I could be What I'm supposed to be, But I don't know what that is. Look's like I'm back On the razor's edge again. Can I hate you? Will I need you? What kind of borderline is this? I can't see the edge And I never knew I'd fall so fast Into this endless abyss. Cold darkness. Scars. Who will love me now? |
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For many, the journey of knowing self is the journey of many roads.
May you have all you need as your guide 
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thanks AngelLight....
i just wish it was less confusing for me to know what i want and what i need....thanks mostly to my borderline personality disorder i don't know who i want/need to be most of the time...
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You're welcome BCG....perhaps because of the "BPD" you will best come to know what you want and need? I don't know....
I only know I just reread your write twice, and I see a number of things you appear to be very clear about in terms of what you want and need....like to engage with transparency ... "Step forward Out of the shadows" to acknowledge you feel angry, and that you desire truth to be seen as a person, not as a "game piece" to be able to freely move, without being constricted by someone else's need to control your movements to not be used in any situation or by any person to commit, when you are able and ready...."keep promises...be true" to be accepted by self and others to know who you are, and simply be free to be "that" to find your clarity, despite confusion....the abyss to know love, despite "cold, darkness, scars".... Anyway, that's what I see in the write....perhaps you know more about what you want/need than you think? Just some thoughts... |
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You're welcome BCG....perhaps because of the "BPD" you will best come to know what you want and need? I don't know.... I only know I just reread your write twice, and I see a number of things you appear to be very clear about in terms of what you want and need....like to engage with transparency ... "Step forward Out of the shadows" to acknowledge you feel angry, and that you desire truth to be seen as a person, not as a "game piece" to be able to freely move, without being constricted by someone else's need to control your movements to not be used in any situation or by any person to commit, when you are able and ready...."keep promises...be true" to be accepted by self and others to know who you are, and simply be free to be "that" to find your clarity, despite confusion....the abyss to know love, despite "cold, darkness, scars".... Anyway, that's what I see in the write....perhaps you know more about what you want/need than you think? Just some thoughts... Wow....   Thank you for pointing this out to me because I honestly did not see this as vividly as you saw it. I truly appreciate your input like this.
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You're welcome BCG....perhaps because of the "BPD" you will best come to know what you want and need? I don't know.... I only know I just reread your write twice, and I see a number of things you appear to be very clear about in terms of what you want and need....like to engage with transparency ... "Step forward Out of the shadows" to acknowledge you feel angry, and that you desire truth to be seen as a person, not as a "game piece" to be able to freely move, without being constricted by someone else's need to control your movements to not be used in any situation or by any person to commit, when you are able and ready...."keep promises...be true" to be accepted by self and others to know who you are, and simply be free to be "that" to find your clarity, despite confusion....the abyss to know love, despite "cold, darkness, scars".... Anyway, that's what I see in the write....perhaps you know more about what you want/need than you think? Just some thoughts... Wow.... Thank you for pointing this out to me because I honestly did not see this as vividly as you saw it. I truly appreciate your input like this. You're very welcome BCG, yet, just remember, you so clearly expressed your needs in the poem, even if you didn't initially see it. Now you can more vividly see what you are inherently saying in any future write 
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Parts of this were very strong....and strong with feeling. Well done.
Keep on learning about yourself and feeling. With time, the feeling will become more moderate and softer....bringing contentment, serenity, even happiness. |
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Parts of this were very strong....and strong with feeling. Well done. Keep on learning about yourself and feeling. With time, the feeling will become more moderate and softer....bringing contentment, serenity, even happiness. Beautifully expressed Angel 
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Parts of this were very strong....and strong with feeling. Well done. Keep on learning about yourself and feeling. With time, the feeling will become more moderate and softer....bringing contentment, serenity, even happiness. Beautifully expressed Angel I agree
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