I thought it'd be a good idea for us "veterans" to explain the "code" people put on their profiles for the Newbs...

Smoking - N/A or "Sometimes" - means, they smoke and don't want to admit it and get filtered out of searches

"My Kids are my life..." Means their kids are their life, and you will need to understand that dating is a challenging proposition for them because they ether only have every other weekend free, or their ex is a dweeb and they never have a weekend and can't afford a baby-sitter. Consider offering to pay for babysitter if she's open to it

"I'm tired of games..." means they've either been burned by players, or just came out of a serious relationship where it devolved into a lot of gaming for the upper hand. Be patient - it will take time to earn their trust. and BE HONEST with them... (with everyone actually)

"I am brutally honest" or "I speak my mind" etc... usually means they've had trouble in relationships in the past where they've hurt someones feelings, or they are still learning social skills that involve thinking before speaking. They are saying this to preempt difficulties or hurt feelings later.

"I'm here to have a good time" usually means they are recently out of a boring relationship and are looking to blow off steam, or they are not ready to seriously date. In some cases, it just means they want sex. (yes, boy and girls both do this)

"I'm just making friends" means they want to take their time. But in some cases, they put "Divorced" when they're really "Separated" and don't want to get in trouble in court.

"I don't post my picture until I get to know you." (and they have no pic, or a stupid pic of a flower or something) - Caution: They may be married and don't want to get caught. Or, they are so paranoid, they don't want to even have their picture on the internet. In either case, no pic (or a stupid one) indicates issues - be wary.

Of course, nothing is 100% on codes, but maybe these will give you newbs some insight and save you a little grief...

line item #6 - divorced when actually seperated..i'm no lawyer, but that may get them further into trouble since it is misleading...may give ammunition to counterparty upon settlement of legal procedings..

roko

I don't agree with several of these "definitions". Some are right, others are way off.

Good point - so if they're separated, they should consider not being on here at all until the Big-D is done...

I thought "Just here for friends/making friends" meant I'm here for friends.

lol - it does... :)

Then why did you say it means "they want to take their time" ?

sometimes just taking your time means you just want to be friends forever and sometimes it means friends for now and we'll see what happens...

I DID say it isn't 100%

And Sometimes if a profile says I'm only here for friends (some say in the forums) it means they aren't looking for Anything.

not looking for "anything" - but they're looking for friends... :P

Wording often times leaves itself open to the readers' own interpretation. They read into it what they WANT to read into it, instead of what emotions the writer is actually trying to convey.

So true...

I'm only addressin this particular definition as it pertains to me. I speak my mind not because I'm lackin any social skills or because I've had troubles in past relationships. I speak my mind cause I have one an I know how to use it. I'm one of those women who has no problem speakin up an givin my own opinion. I don't let my SO speak for me cause I'm quite capable of doin it myself. Some men, I said some men, have a problem with a woman like that.

No disagreements here - and it's not meant to be "everybody" but rather a generalization... That one wasn't meant to be about being honest...

No worries, I took no offense. Just wanted to address my reasonin for the line in my profile

kewl!