GRANDMA STUFF

LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA! HOW OLD SHE WAS.
GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING."
JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID,
"AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"

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LIFE AFTER DEATH:
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF
HIS EMPLOYEES.
"YES, SIR," THE NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED.
"WELL, THEN, THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT
ON.
"AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S
FUNERAL,
SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE YOU!

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PALM SUNDAY :
IT WAS PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT,
FIVE-YEAR-OLD
JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE
FAMILY
RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM BRANCHES. THE
BOY
ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD
AS
HE WALKED BY." "WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY FUMED, "THE
ONE
SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS UP!"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

CHILDREN'S SERMON:
ONE EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE
CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND
PULLED
OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE CHILDREN,
"WHAT'S IN HERE?" "I KNOW!" A LITTL E BOY EXCLAIMED.
"PANTYHOSE!"
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SUPPORT A FAMILY:
THE PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU
SUPPORT
A FAMILY?" THE SURPRISED GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I
WAS JUST
PLANNING TO SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE
TO
FEND FOR YOURSELVES."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

FIRST TIME USHERS! :
A LITTLE BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE
USHERS
PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES. WHEN THEY CAME NEAR HIS
PEW,
THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY FOR ME DADDY. I'M UNDER
FIVE."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

PRAYERS:
THE SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER ASKED, "NOW, JOHNNY, TELL ME, DO
YOU
SAY PRAYERS BEFORE EATING?" "NO SIR," HE REPLIED, "WE DON'T
HAVE TO,
MY MOM IS A GOOD COOK!"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

CLIMB THE WALLS:
"OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU,"
THE LITTLE BOY SAID TO HIS GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE
"NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO THE TRICK HE HAS BEEN PROMISING US."
THE GRANDMOTHER WAS CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED.
"I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU
CAME TO VISIT" THE LITTLE BOY ANSWERED.
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THE MOOD RING:
MY HUSBAND BOUGHT ME A MOOD RING T HE OTHER DAY. WHEN I'M IN
A GOOD MOOD IT TURNS GREEN. WHEN I'M IN A BAD MOOD, IT LEAVES
A RED MARK ON HIS FOREHEAD.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

THE WATER PISTOL:
WHEN MY THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS
GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL. HE SQUEALED WITH
DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK. I WAS NOT SO
PLEASED.
I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M SURPRISED AT YOU. DON'T YOU
REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH WATER GUNS?"
MOM SMILED AND THEN REPLIED..... "YEAH, I REMEMBER!!!"

Thank'd catch
where did you get them all?

those were cute!

Thanks for sharing....Needed a good
laugh tonight....

Still laughin - thanks!!

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

A PREACHER DISMISSED HIS SERMON,AND LED EVERYONE TO THE DOORS.AFTER
EVERYONELSE HAD WENT OUT SID,HE NOTICED LITTLE JOHNNY STARIN AT THE
LOBBY WALL."PREACHER"JOHNNY SAID,"YES",WHO ARE ALL THE PPL IN THESE
PICS?"THE PREACHER SAID THATS A DEDICATION TO THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN
WHO GAVE THEIR LIVES IN THE SERVICE.JOHNNY SAID"OH YEAH,WAS IT THE
MORNIN SERVICE OR THE EVNIN?

Thanks ya'll those were good. Needed a good laugh!