What is the point of all the dating? I thought it was to get to know someone better and possibly pursue a long-term relationship, now I'm under the assumption that it really is just a box of matchsticks in a fire (for those who don't know a box of matchsticks popped into a fire creates an explosion of sorts). Are most people just burned out of trying to get to know someone? If you attempt to date someone anymore you have to jump through hoops to evade the notorious "red flags" list and half the time you already hit a couple...but you are unaware of this because either; A: They don't tell you about it until it is too late, or B: They just don't tell you.

So now your left wondering where it all went wrong, and most of the time you're just consuming your head with useless void thoughts that lead to nothing in the long-run. Dating really is nothing more than a box of matchsticks thrown in the fire, an explosive combination of the heat of initial meet all the way to the chemical fire that spits embers upon your flesh tentatively considered the break-up or melt-down depending who you talk too.

As this really no longer applies to me as I've decided I need to find myself more before I can pursue anything outside of me, more of a question of what your expectations are when you date? When I did date I had no expectations and was just getting to know people, I went in open-minded with no red flags attached to the setting and just had fun...ultimately for whatever reason leading to failure (I pretty much assume it is me, I'm confident I said/did/or motioned something in the wrong manner), now the question remains; which one of those things did I do? No one really explains this and it isn't possible to outline in a book of some odd chapters, so again your left to contemplation and again this leads nowhere because it didn't have a destined path in the first place.

So, in end, buy a dog.

i hate dogs

I really don't care.

I hear ya, buddy. In the end, it doesn't seem to be worth it. If you aren't dealing with flakes, you're dealing with the incredibly neurotic and psychotic types, or you're dealing with the ones who just don't know what they want.

So you ARE probably better off just playing your Wii on a lonely Saturday night. At least the Wii won't talk back to you.

FnL, you have a huge pair of e-balls and I always appreciate your honesty.

You love that word!

Thank you Chrissy, you have a large set of E-balls as well.

But I made you laugh. Fear, dating is a trial to be sure but nothing ventured nothing gained. Oh, and the payoff could be worth it. Keep the faith.

Wow... sounds just a little too "hot" and heavy for me. sorry... couldn't resist!

Dating is what it is. A means for finding someone that is compatible with you in the pursuit of some perceived "happiness". Explosions or not, you take that chance when you open yourself up to the wonderful insanity that is dating.

See, that is the way I see dating. However now we have people running around with a book full of "red flags" inevitably leading the date to disaster, mainly because it is difficult anymore not to hit one of these meager excuses for "red flags". Can't do this, can't do that, stay away from this, stay away from that, and the list goes on and on and on.

That is the fundemental issue with dating anymore, it is damn near close to walking through a minefield and hoping you don't step on the switch.

I've taken the chance for all the good it has brought me, I've even walked the minefield of "red flags", again, for all the good it brought me. I'm me, that isn't changing, it seems most want this "shining prince of valour" or that person that will walk on fire for you...I am not that person, I won't walk on fire to please you, I will not risk myself in order to please you for any reason until I know without a shadow of doubt it will be worth it.

When you expect nothing, more often than not, that is what you get.

What should I expect on a date? Fireworks? Expectations are what ruin most things in the long-run. 'Well I expected him/her to say this/that' or 'I expected him/her to give me this/that'...or my method, I expected nothing and was given everything...

I have to agree here. If you expect something and don't get it, you're disappointed. If you don't expect something, you're pleasantly surprised if you get anything.

Personally, I feel that the use of the term "red flag" is overrated and over used. So many times people toss the term out as a way of notating something that they don't understand or don't care to understand.

I have gotten to the point that I present myself as I am. Nothing more, nothing less. Take me how I am or pass on by. Life is too short to bend yourself to meet up to someone else's standards. Would you expect the same of them?

If your method works so well, what is the point of this thread?

I'm not saying to expect things that specific. If you expect to get to know someone so you can build a long term relationship. Expect that the person you are going out with wants the same end results you do.

It is human nature to try to live up to expectation. If you have none, your would be partner isn't sure what to do.

I expect nothing, I just want to have a good time with whoever I may be out with. But this doesn't stop someone else from expecting perfection where perfection simply cannot and will not exist, nothing is perfect in life except what you make perfect. Herein lies the issue, my thought of perfections is simply chaotic and not shared by many people. This doesn't stop someone else from bending themselves to try and meet whatever standard they have already set for me, I don't have standards I personally don't care for them. This does not stop others from already pre-concieving that there is standards there already though, and this creates a rift when they come across as what they "think" I want instead of who they really are.

I'm me, and not many people like who I am, doesn't inheritantly bother me but does make finding someone an extremely difficult trek. So I decided I'm not dating anymore, I'm finding me, who I am and not who I could be or who I could have been.

matchsticks in the fire,.

everything is kindof like that now,..our food,..our cars,..our romance,..if it ain`t ~HOT~ & FAST ,.it`s out,..

It is a noted observation and a question you missed...apparently. I'm not here to defend myself, I'm here to gain an understanding. You already have a biased view of what "should be" instead of what "could be"...therefore you are not helping me gain an understanding.

You can't control what others chose to do. You can express yourself to the best of your ability and see where it goes.

You always have the CHOICE to walk away.

A truck and a dog over a woman anyday.