Ever got to the state, that you just "forget about" the whole thing and start pursuing something that perhaps always interested you , always wanted to do, but never had time for it?

Or you picked up a new interest and now having a relationship, and even sex seems so far away and unreachable, that you can't even imagine the possibility and just the thought of it, almost scares you, because you just can't figure out how you should be acting or saying or what you should be feeling?
It's like, it feels completely strange and alien to you, and it's the last thought of yours, maybe winning the lottery feels more probable?

Perhaps you've been alone so long, that you have trouble imagining someone around you?

I'm used to being alone, I've realized every time I get a prospective partner I usually screw it up...or something beyond my control screws it up. So I'm just going to stick too being alone, works better anyway.

Well, I've only been alone since last August, but I have to admit that the idea of having someone around again seems completely alien to me now.

I guess that's manily because there's only one person who interests me at all, and there is absolutely no chance that it will ever happen.

So I've reached the point where I've just become absorbed with other things. And that's OK, for the most part. But there are moments when I remember what it was like to care about someone that much. And I miss that. But I don't see it ever happening again.

I've seen you post so many time's about her. Does she know how much you adore her?

Absolutely. And it doesn't make a bit of difference.

I'm sorry for your heart.

Sometimes you just have to do what you need to do, instead of what you "think" you should be doing. Whether that is a job, relationship, etc. Get your life and yourself in perspective, then worry about the other junk. Things will fall into place if you just let them. Don't force it.

NO.

I totally agree with that. I have been alone for a long time and I really don't think I could share my life again.
Well, maybe I could, but not sure how I would accept it in the beginning. I am use to "my" life. I want it, I am just not sure how I would handle it.

LOL!
Come on now, let us have our miserable moment!

Get this. Up until last August, I had zero interest in the opposite sex (perhaps not xero, but not enough to inspire any kind of action on my part). The thought of dating had not even crossed my mind. I was too involved in the other aspects of my life (school, work, racing, nad a little 'me' time). Then, some things changed, and I was faced with a new interest. You damn women, you're like crack. I went on a date with a really nice girl (Yeah, my first date at 24 years old). We saw eachother on a semi-regular basis until the beginning of April. She's now out of the picture (I tell myself it's for the best, but I'll never know for sure). I saw her as more than just a friend, even if we never went any further than that. At this point, I can't imagine living my life alone even though it seems to be the reality. I've got to have that person who I can share thoughts, dreams, and ambitions with.

So, yeah. Sometimes I wish I could turn the clocks back and skip the whole thing. It seems like it's been more trouble than it's worth. But at the same time, I've realized that I have a need to have someone that I care about on levels that family and friends cannot match. The feeling that someone else care for me is pretty nice as well.

I have times when I cannot stand having sex or even being touched because I start remembering my rapes (yes, I've been raped several times). I just have to stop the intimate involvement or else I start to shut down emotionally and mentally, going to another place completely. It's scared my bf before. But yeah I've had those feelings. Hell my bf now is my first bf I've ever had, so I didn't even know what sex was until I experienced very bad events back in 2007 and then met him. I regret losing my virginity a lot of time. Sometimes I wake up and wish I could go back and forget everything, but unfortunately you can't.

Do the odds get better due to the wisdom we gain?

Or do the odds get worse due to the ravenges of time and loss of flexibility?

Are the "good ones all taken"?

Or were we never good ones to begin with, we just thought we were?

I concur

No answers here....I hate the whole game.

The past does seem to play hell with the future. I hate it when I hear stories like yours.