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| Topic: Rapist's Second Chance? | |
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i just wonder what the 13 yo bad guy [yes he was a bad guy] (but it appears he has learned from his stupiity} lives with everyday
hhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i wonder |
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well hopefully he remembers and that will keep him in line. i have always been big on people owning up to their mistakes and taking whatever comes with it. if they learn then that is AWESOME. but many don't learn and repeat the same mistakes....not just talking about the OP...but many things in life
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I am one of the us as well. I didn't say they can't forgive or learn to get passed it...but it does stay with them one way or another. it's something that can't be replaced. people can grow from it and forgive...but it's still there Oh, I'm not saying it's not. I'm just trying to express that not all of us (and I sincerely hope to include you there as well) do not live with it hanging over our heads always, we don't live as victims. Because it is possible to move on. It's something that I thankfully don't think about too often anymore, it was what was, but is no longer 
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I am one of the us as well. I didn't say they can't forgive or learn to get passed it...but it does stay with them one way or another. it's something that can't be replaced. people can grow from it and forgive...but it's still there Oh, I'm not saying it's not. I'm just trying to express that not all of us (and I sincerely hope to include you there as well) do not live with it hanging over our heads always, we don't live as victims. Because it is possible to move on. It's something that I thankfully don't think about too often anymore, it was what was, but is no longer oh no...i didn't mean live as a victim. i meant that it is still there some how someway... cn't give back what someone took but can forgive and grow |
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I have been in therapy for 20 years now....I still have nightmares I can still tell you in detail what was done to me, and the man that did it...served 6 months in jail.....he gets 6 months I get 20 years and counting.....I had to go tp a psychiatric ward from a mental breakdown, suicide attempts and split personaility disorder, even now i still suffer from chronic depression, anger control issues and some other mental issues.
To this day I have trouble trusting older men, most I can't even talk to. I refuse to be a full victim to what he did to me but it does affect me alot. I would love to say forgive and forget...but I can do neither. It's hard to do either when i wake up in the middle of the night after an hour of tossing and turning and begging him to stop.....my roommate wakes up and sits with me until I calm down again. As far as i'm concerned they should be castrated... |
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Foliel - it doesn't seem fair at all
 My advise would be to look forward, learn from the past, but don't live in it - and yes I acknowledge this is difficult but it can be done. Good luck and thanks for your honesty.
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I have been in therapy for 20 years now....I still have nightmares I can still tell you in detail what was done to me, and the man that did it...served 6 months in jail.....he gets 6 months I get 20 years and counting.....I had to go tp a psychiatric ward from a mental breakdown, suicide attempts and split personaility disorder, even now i still suffer from chronic depression, anger control issues and some other mental issues. To this day I have trouble trusting older men, most I can't even talk to. I refuse to be a full victim to what he did to me but it does affect me alot. I would love to say forgive and forget...but I can do neither. It's hard to do either when i wake up in the middle of the night after an hour of tossing and turning and begging him to stop.....my roommate wakes up and sits with me until I calm down again. As far as i'm concerned they should be castrated... Foliel I think we all get where you're coming from, I spent many years dealing with some of the same things (not to the extent you do but enough to understand somewhat). Forgiving and forgetting is NOT what I meant, forgetting is impossible. But, learning to live with it, learning compassion for yourself, learning to forgive yourself, learning to regain the control taken from you, that IS possible. Please have hope and believe that 
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Hell I remember being 11 and 12 and I absolutely knew right from wrong, pear pressure or not. It upsets me to hear people making excuses for his age, he was not 6, he was 13. His new found faith? Don't they all get God 'after' the fact, hell even politicians use that one... Quote: ''upon reaching adult age those things are to be put behind them'' Let's hope the young girl put it behind her!!  No mention of how she is doing, or did I miss something. Are we worried how he would react if he was to be turned down? Guess we'd find out just how sorry he really is, huh? The whole thing disgusts me, but then I know what rape is. I don't think anyone is making excuses. And many of us do know what rape is, as unfortunately most people in this world will be affected by it either directly or indirectly in their lifetime. At 13, you know right from wrong, of course, but most kids that age are incredibly vulnerable to peer pressure (which is why, of course, it's such a problem) and most kids know it's wrong, and care that it's wrong, but they don't have the brain capacity to really think consequences through, not only for themselves but for others. That is something that comes with age and maturity and does not always develop for many people. Could be this kid WAS/IS just evil with no conscience, I don't know, I don't know him. But, giving a kid who at 13 made a HUGE mistake in both action and judgment a second chance? Yeah. I think people should. How would you feel if it was your OWN child? You'd want that 2nd chance for him/her, right? No offence but this kid is not STUPID or vulnerable if he can go one to get the kind of grades he is getting. I don't buy the vulnerable to peer pressure thing, he was being asked to join in a rape, not a boys prank on a girl. I wouldn't let a male child of mine get to be that age with out him knowing what the consequences are to violating others. Sadly we are still too often under that old, Boys will be Boys attitude... The girl lives with it the rest of her life in one way or the other, no matter how you pretend it's not there anymore. He might feel remorseful but he will never feel what she did, I can guarentee that. Over 40 years and it still makes me quit angry, so I better back out of here now. |
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my problem (yes maybe the boy is remorseful) but the girl has a life long sentence. even if she gets help...she still has to live with it. guess I don't know the answer. on one hand...the kid served his time. on the other...the girl is still serving hers Your absolutely right, Rose. In my case, I was never a easy mark, that pig left with as many bruises as he gave me, however the bruises go away but the violation never goes away, ever, no matter what you do. My attacker had some physical bruises but he still was not the one violated. I can't imagine any girl or women saying shes ok with it. |
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Edited by
SuzinVA
on
Fri 05/15/09 06:08 AM
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No offence but this kid is not STUPID or vulnerable if he can go one to get the kind of grades he is getting. I don't buy the vulnerable to peer pressure thing, he was being asked to join in a rape, not a boys prank on a girl. I wouldn't let a male child of mine get to be that age with out him knowing what the consequences are to violating others. Sadly we are still too often under that old, Boys will be Boys attitude... The girl lives with it the rest of her life in one way or the other, no matter how you pretend it's not there anymore. He might feel remorseful but he will never feel what she did, I can guarentee that. Over 40 years and it still makes me quit angry, so I better back out of here now. I'm sorry, I didn't intend to offend you or to denigrate your experience. |
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