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| Topic: Fathers rights | |
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Thank goodness I have custody of my sons. I haven't asked for child support because I am afraid she will just want to take them from me.
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I'd be happy to get the +$1600. I pay out each month and live in the house with my kids. Note: that total includes more than child support due to financial arrangements/agreements. But it all changes. My oldest turns 18 next month, and my earnings are being cut at work so what I pay out will be reduced a bit soon. Doesn't it continue through college? |
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Personally, I think that if the child is being taken care of, fed, clothed properly, is healthy and happy, then it's none of your business where and how the money is spent, especially if she is working. I have a much higher standard of living than my ex, I have a better job, better benefits, etc. IF he were paying child support, that money would go to ENHANCING my son's lifestyle to include the extras I currently can't afford. But, even if he did pay child support, it's none of his business how I spend it as long as our child is provided for, whether it's pooled with my money for household expenses or not etc. Contrary to popular belief among many non-custodial parents, that piddly amount that is generally paid doesn't even cover food, much less anything else. You try it. And, contrary to popular belief, most of us women (usually the primary custodian), support OURSELVES, we have jobs, careers, etc. So, you're not supporting us, you are supporting your children in, hopefully, such a way that THEIR life is minimally disrupted. THAT'S what child support is and should be and if you're going to resent it, there's a very simple solution to the problem, DON'T HAVE KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitter much? It is my business, simply because she is my child as well and I deserve to know that MY hard earned money is being spent correctly. The mother should support herself and not expect the father to participate. Of course the child support from him should be focused 100% on the child. The funny part is, some mothers I have spoken with think the father is responsible for 100% of everything, feeling they should not have to pay a dime. That is sick minded. Other mothers I have spoken with are down to earth and have reality in terms by saying, it takes two and we are both responsible and it should be split 50/50! |
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yea right...most men do not even pay child support...I don't even wanna hear it... AMEN!!! I battled mine in court for the $75 a week he was ordered to pay 15 years ago. I never took him back to get it increased.. so when he chose to go to court.. and it was upped to $105 week and he had to pay insurance... i had them tagged his wages( as he never paid anyways) and said... seeeeeeeeeeeee shoulda paid the $75 and called yourself lucky. $100 a week is very easily proved with rent, food, water, electricty clothing etc etc etc Yes, they don't realize that housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline for driving them around, and lots more is increased for the woman when they have a child. And I dont have housing, electric, gas, water, gasoline, clothes to buy, food, extra curric activities etc to do either? And what is this "They" stuff? I had to buy a house with a 2nd bedroom and a yard for my child. That house cost more then a one bedroom. I don't need a yard either. Children mean more clothes to wash and more people taking showers, hence more water, electric and gas. Bigger house - more electric and gas. Yes, the kids make us use more electric - music, video games, computer, lights in more rooms. More food to buy, more toilet paper, more EVERYTHING. I can handle a colder house but my child get colder then me so I have to turn the heat up. My kid has grown 5" in a year - 2x's. Constant growing means constant new clothes. There's personal things to buy - toothpaste, razors, etc. for boy and personal things for the girl and hair stuff, etc. It adds up! Let me see..at my kid's age...$75 basketball team, $75 volleyball team, $50 track team, Scouts, and then summer camps. Photos at school, school lunches, yearbook, school field trips. Then there's the gas for driving them to school and all of those basketball and volleyball games. My kid made State for Track this weekend. That's a 35 mile round trip. I'm thankful it's in my city this year. Wow, my kid has friends. There's birthday presents, movies, bowling and more. I have to drive them there too. Oh, yeah, I have to pay cash for the braces this month. This is just touching the surface of what a child costs and it's for my child's age. I remember the $100/month butt when they were in diapers. Sounds like you need to work a new agreement, there is not one thing you mentioned that I dont have to encounter either 
You said that you had a two bedroom apartment. I had to get a yard. Children outgrow apartments. There's the sand box, the swing set, basketball hoop, tetherball , and swimming pool (more water and electric). There's the sidewalk out front for bike riding, playing, and roller skating. Those items cost money too. I am not debating your situation, your are missing my point. I dont want to be in this apartment. Utilities are minimal in that expense. The pool would be there anyway with or without child, so would your sidewalk. Thats getting petty I bought the pool for the child. I don't swim much. They do. I would have a parking lot instead of a sidewalk if I had an apartment. Not petty - it all adds up. My electric sure does increase when I plug that pool in for the summer. I have baby sitter costs too. The only reason that I bought a computer is because my child needs it for school. This is a luxury rather than a neccesity. The Father should be able to purchase a pool as well and do that with the kids also. The computer I totally understand, you should help him buy one for his house as well for when he has the children. Baby sitters are expensive, maybe the Father would enjoy that time with them as an option? Maybe he should have that time offered to him, or will that just give him more overnight stays and reduce the payment? |
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I'd be happy to get the +$1600. I pay out each month and live in the house with my kids. Note: that total includes more than child support due to financial arrangements/agreements. But it all changes. My oldest turns 18 next month, and my earnings are being cut at work so what I pay out will be reduced a bit soon. Doesn't it continue through college? it depends on when the child support was issued by the court and if it gets amended. |
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Edited by
yellowrose10
on
Tue 05/12/09 03:43 PM
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an ex bf of mine had to pay so much in child support for one child...he couldn't afford to do anything. the mother had plenty of money. now I don't feel the dad shouldn't have to pay...but if it's an issue to try to keep the same level for the child at mom's and dad's...that doesn't always seem to apply. Plus most have to pay for the insurance on the child as well....that takes away some of the paycheck as well
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an ex bf of mine had to pay so much in child support for one child...he couldn't afford to do anything. the mother had plenty of money. now I don't feel the dad shouldn't have to pay...but if it's an issue to try to keep the same level for the child at mom's and dad's...that doesn't always seem to apply. Plus most have to pay for the insurance on the child as well....that takes away some of the paycheck as well exactly, cheers 
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I am just babbling doll. I don't have the answers to how to stop it all and make it fair....but when I rule the world...everyone will have to listen to me
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I am just babbling doll. I don't have the answers to how to stop it all and make it fair....but when I rule the world...everyone will have to listen to me
You and I both, and I will be glad to write new laws in regards to child support and sharing the parenting. I have the answers, I just need to get through to the right authorities
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the dead beat men and women give the good ones a bad rep IMO. I know you are a great dad and would do all you could for your kiddo
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Edited by
Winx
on
Tue 05/12/09 05:25 PM
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This is a luxury rather than a neccesity. The Father should be able to purchase a pool as well and do that with the kids also. The computer I totally understand, you should help him buy one for his house as well for when he has the children. Baby sitters are expensive, maybe the Father would enjoy that time with them as an option? Maybe he should have that time offered to him, or will that just give him more overnight stays and reduce the payment? I don't consider the pool to be a luxury. My child needs something to do in the summer. There's no swimming pools around me either. I should buy him a pool and computer? That's too funny. |
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Baby sitters are expensive, maybe the Father would enjoy that time with them as an option? Maybe he should have that time offered to him, or will that just give him more overnight stays and reduce the payment?
You mean you never asked for 'first right to access' when you separated or made custody arrangments? I don't know what it's called in America, but it's a pretty standard clause in Canada. Other mothers I have spoken with are down to earth and have reality in terms by saying, it takes two and we are both responsible and it should be split 50/50!
Sure, if the salaries, and custody, are equal. Why should it be split 50/50 if one parent earns $100,000 and the other $30,000? Doesn't pro rata make the most sense? That's also standard here, and includes section 7 expenses, such as extra curricular, dental, college, etc., which are over and above child support. |
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I'd be happy to get the +$1600. I pay out each month and live in the house with my kids. Note: that total includes more than child support due to financial arrangements/agreements. But it all changes. My oldest turns 18 next month, and my earnings are being cut at work so what I pay out will be reduced a bit soon. Doesn't it continue through college? Ah, no............... But she wants to move in with me for a while when she starts college, so I know there will be things that I will be covering. |
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It may not make sense but once i graduated high school and had a job, college was my responsibility not my mom's (mind you she is disabled and only gets social security) and we never received a dime from my real father. Hell I got 3 paper routes when I was 11 just so i could help mom pay the bills and buy the extras that I wanted.
I feel that the father or mother paying child support has a right to know that their money is going to the child or for the child's support since that is what you're paying, They are not paying so that the custodial parent can go on vacation or out to eat frequently. I don't think they are asking that much. |
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It may not make sense but once i graduated high school and had a job, college was my responsibility not my mom's (mind you she is disabled and only gets social security) and we never received a dime from my real father. Hell I got 3 paper routes when I was 11 just so i could help mom pay the bills and buy the extras that I wanted. I feel that the father or mother paying child support has a right to know that their money is going to the child or for the child's support since that is what you're paying, They are not paying so that the custodial parent can go on vacation or out to eat frequently. I don't think they are asking that much. Exactly my point
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thats for sure how about the women getting 2,000 a month and i have my kids 50 50 and she sits on her ass....ive worked my whole life shes worked 8 months her whole life
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Edited by
yellowrose10
on
Wed 05/13/09 04:48 PM
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I do think there are parents that are dead beats....but there are great parents that get robbed too
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Personally, I think that if the child is being taken care of, fed, clothed properly, is healthy and happy, then it's none of your business where and how the money is spent, especially if she is working. I have a much higher standard of living than my ex, I have a better job, better benefits, etc. IF he were paying child support, that money would go to ENHANCING my son's lifestyle to include the extras I currently can't afford. But, even if he did pay child support, it's none of his business how I spend it as long as our child is provided for, whether it's pooled with my money for household expenses or not etc. Contrary to popular belief among many non-custodial parents, that piddly amount that is generally paid doesn't even cover food, much less anything else. You try it. And, contrary to popular belief, most of us women (usually the primary custodian), support OURSELVES, we have jobs, careers, etc. So, you're not supporting us, you are supporting your children in, hopefully, such a way that THEIR life is minimally disrupted. THAT'S what child support is and should be and if you're going to resent it, there's a very simple solution to the problem, DON'T HAVE KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bitter much? I don't think she's bitter. She speaks a lot of truth here. |
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i find it hard for myself to give the mother of my children pretty much half of what i make while she sits on her ass and i work my ass off yes if i was makin much more and she actually tried then it would be different dont punish me and the lifestyle me and my kids have because there mother is lazy
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i find it hard for myself to give the mother of my children pretty much half of what i make while she sits on her ass and i work my ass off yes if i was makin much more and she actually tried then it would be different dont punish me and the lifestyle me and my kids have because there mother is lazy now that is her abusing it IMO |
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